# Candles are demonic...yes, that's right: CANDLES **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 1, 2004, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068 "2004-01-01T04:26:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/141 "2004-01-06T02:18:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*ha and ha > demons do not always “make things fly around” maybe you’ve been visited by uri Geller.😛 \*\* That’d explain the spoons. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/142 "2004-01-06T02:24:01Z")
which belong up Uri’s butt. ---
**Author:** ![IWLN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5ac83/32.png) [@IWLN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IWLN)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/143 "2004-01-06T03:30:25Z")
Now **vanilla** , that’s not on the list of what Jesus would say.😉 ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/144 "2004-01-06T03:41:32Z")
oh, your on the other board, eh? Jesus would too call out the fraud! ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/145 "2004-01-06T13:26:11Z")
Oddly, the website also both reminded and inspired me to go and buy some more candles. One of them is a Love Candle, with a demonic love crystal attached to it. The other is large and brown, so probably represents Satan’s phallus. The last one is orange, and is conjuring the demon Pokera who performs red hot anal probles in hell. ---
**Author:** ![CartoonSuperHero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/35a633/32.png) [@CartoonSuperHero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CartoonSuperHero)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/146 "2004-01-06T15:08:01Z")
> [@](#): > > The other is large and brown, so probably represents Satan’s phallus. Or… demonic poop that just won’t flush! 😮 We’ve all had those poops, you _want_ them to flush, but no matter how many times you depress the handle, they just refuse to disappear. CartoonSu ---
**Author:** ![IWLN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5ac83/32.png) [@IWLN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IWLN)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/147 "2004-01-06T15:14:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vanilla \* > \*\*oh, your on the other board, eh? > > Jesus would too call out the fraud! \*\* Nope. This is my one and only board. Uh…could you see me on a Christian message board? They wouldn’t like me. :rolleyes: You mentioned “what would Jesus say” on another thread. ---
**Author:** ![DogMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@DogMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DogMom)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2004, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/148 "2004-01-06T21:00:13Z")
I loved the bit where it says “demons are attracted to the substance candles are made out of.” Ummm…that’d be WAX, dudes. I’m surprised they’re not going after the Crayon Manufacturers, too. Ohmygosh, Crayola is after our kids! And the kids’ teachers are in on it! That’s why they all require you to buy NEW CRAYONS ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2004, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/149 "2004-01-07T08:54:20Z")
Not to mention the creatures that make the wax some high quality candles are made of, bees. That means honey is out too, now. /Demonbuster parody Yep, I don’t care if them little critters help with pollinatin’ plants, they’re EVIL, and gotta go. _Spray_ _Spray_ I cast you out in the name of Jesus Christ! :rolleyes: 😛 Demonbuster parody/ I wonder if that “Voodoo witchcoctor” used animal/corpse fat candles? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2004, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/150 "2004-01-07T11:13:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > 2000 web pages devoted to this? That’s horrifying in and of itself. Horrifying? Hell, it makes me feel a LOT safer knowing these individuals are writing this shit down and putting it online instead of doing a door-to-door ministry or something. Can you IMAGINE the witnessing? [sub]I don’t want to…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2004, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/151 "2004-01-07T15:03:31Z")
When I saw your name as having posted here, iampunha, I thought you might have run thru the thread naked. I see you haven’t. ☹ THAT would truly be demonic…😉 ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/152 "2004-01-07T18:32:31Z")
Well, I’m not **punha** , but I’ve got a few minutes of lunch left at work and I’m already so demon infested according to these folks I haven’t got much else to lose (more candles at church on Sunday, and, as a former acolyte, I’ve even lit the things). It’s cold out here, so this is going to be quick but here goes! _ **Runs naked through thread, shivering!** _ Anyone got a hot tub? How 'bout a cup of hot chocolate? 😃 CJ :Shiver: :Shiver: _SHI-I-IVER!_ ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2004, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/153 "2004-01-07T19:06:26Z")
How about a hot tub full of hot chocolate? Or is that _too_ demonic? ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2004, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/154 "2004-01-07T19:35:15Z")
Oooh, **siege** , nice glans! I’m a Catholic. People have been telling us we’re the Devil’s Branch Office on Earth for hundreds of years now. Nyah-nyah! ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2004, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/155 "2004-01-08T14:25:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Siege \* > \*\*Well, I’m not **punha** , but I’ve got a few minutes of lunch left at work and I’m already so demon infested according to these folks I haven’t got much else to lose (more candles at church on Sunday, and, as a former acolyte, I’ve even lit the things). > > It’s cold out here, so this is going to be quick but here goes! > > _ **Runs naked through thread, shivering!** _ > > Anyone got a hot tub? How 'bout a cup of hot chocolate? 😃 > > CJ > :Shiver: > :Shiver: > _SHI-I-IVER!_ \*\* How can anyone Not love this woman? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2004, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/156 "2004-01-08T15:16:16Z")
I blame demons for getting **siege** ’s sex wrong in my post. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2004, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/157 "2004-01-08T23:30:37Z")
No problem, **Mehitabel** – my name is rather ambiguous. As for how could anyone not love me, since **Ponder Stibbons** is the only person who’s offered to warm me up (your idea sounds decadent, but messy!), I’m afraid the answer appears to be, “All too easily.” ☹ CJ ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/158 "2004-01-09T02:39:07Z")
No, something has to be wrong with someone who doesn’t love you, girl. I love you (platonically) Now, take them clothes off, have some hot chocolate, and we have the candles on the shelf over there… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/159 "2004-01-09T02:57:02Z")
Hey, I loves ya, Ceej! Of course, it’s also platonic, and long-distance, but hey… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bmoak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@bmoak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bmoak)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2004, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068/160 "2004-01-09T04:22:12Z")
Good old [demonbusters.org](http://demonbusters.org)! They put both the “fun” and the “mental” in fundamentalism. It’s kind of worrisome that they have over 2 million hits. I remember stumbling across the Madraks’s site a few years ago. In anticpation of the release of Fellowship of the Ring, I as googled around for (among other things) Christian themes and interpretations of Lord of the Rings. I found some of that, but a lot of sites seemed more concerned with Satanism. Granted, many of them were pushing Tolkien (and C.S. Lewis) as safe Chrisitan alternatives to that awful Satanic Harry Potter, but there were a few that went the extra mile and lumped all of them together as tools to corrupt America’s children. One of my favorites is (the formerly known as Balaam’s Ass), which presents is views under the heading [C.S. Lewis, the Devil’s Wisest Fool](http://www.blessedquietness.com/journal/homemake/cslewis.htm). Enjoy! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candles-are-demonic-yes-thats-right-candles/222068.md?page=9)