# candy corn...mortal ambrosia **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 27, 2001, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143 "2001-09-27T16:58:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/1 "2001-09-27T16:58:29Z")
Now, we discussed this briefly a week or so ago, but now that we’ve all gotten back on the track of enjoying autumn, let’s really get down to it. Candy corn should be eaten in three individual bites, white, then orange, then yellow. If you’re eating Indian Corn, you eat the chocolate bottom first, then the orange, and the white tip last. A handful of white tips is better than no candy corn at all. In closing, I present a poem I wrote, three years ago, for the now defunct Absurd Pamphlet Press: **Triptych Ambrosia** It depends on your mood, she said You can either pop them in your mouth whole Like this (she did it, eating six or seven at once) Or, you can separate them White tip first Then thick, soft orange Then yellow. We paused as she did this, Demonstrating her deftness At separating the candy. If you’re feeling zany, she said, Starting to laugh, You can take the yellow bottoms and Stick them on your teeth Like sweet, sticky caps And then your teeth look like They’re made of corn! Thank you, and good night. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/2 "2001-09-27T17:00:38Z")
I’m just posting to say that I love **jarbabyj**. Who else could start a thread like this? ---
**Author:** ![Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nefarious_chipmunk/32/1045_2.png) [@Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nefarious_Chipmunk)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/3 "2001-09-27T17:04:02Z")
mmmmm…candy corn… That is all ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/4 "2001-09-27T17:04:59Z")
Brach rocks almost as much as jarbabe, you sweet thing. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/5 "2001-09-27T17:07:16Z")
I’m just posting to say that I love **jarbabyj**. Who else could start a thread like this? ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/6 "2001-09-27T17:13:33Z")
I have candy corn impacted under my fingernails from clawing the candycorn out of the way to get to the reese’s cups buried below in the candy jar at work. Candy corn is okay, but not my favorite. Call me heathen. What’s your take on those colored pumpkins? Same general candy ingredient, different shape. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/7 "2001-09-27T17:18:07Z")
Candy pumpkins may be the same ingredient, but the shape and size does not work as well with this ingredients. It’s very fun to put inverted candy corn (is it inverted actually - depends on your POV) on your eye teeth and make fangs. The yellow stumps on the teeth is something I haven’t tried. But I will! ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/8 "2001-09-27T17:19:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \* > > What’s your take on those colored pumpkins? Same general candy ingredient, different shape. I can take an occasional mallocreme pumpkin, but only if they’re included in an ‘autumn assortment’ situation. One pumpkin equals (in my mind) about six individual corns, so you can easily go into sugar shock if you’re not careful. The thing about the corn is, it’s small, a little burst of mallocreme goodness. the punkins are dense and when they aren’t soft enough, watch out, sore tooth city. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/9 "2001-09-27T17:24:46Z")
In the candy universe, isn’t candy corn a first cousin of the circus peanut? ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/10 "2001-09-27T17:28:01Z")
Much as I love the candy corn (except those vile chocolate-ended ones! Ick!) I have to say that I’m an even bigger sucker for the aforementioned mallowcreme pumpkin. Ahh…manna from heaven. First you bite off the little green stem and chew it with just your front teeth…then eat the pumpkin in vertical thirds. Frickin’ diet…how many carbs are in one o’ them little pumpkins? How many can I sneak into my “low-carb” diet? ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/11 "2001-09-27T17:28:53Z")
> [@](#): > > In the candy universe, isn’t candy corn a first cousin of the circus peanut? ACK! No no no no no! Good heavens no. Please. Let me spell it out for you: Candy Corn/Pumpkin = pure, sweet, divine goodness Circus Peanuts = pure, unadulterated evil I hope that clarifies things. Carry on. ::: mmmmmm candy corn ::: ---
**Author:** ![caircair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@caircair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caircair)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/12 "2001-09-27T18:13:48Z")
And at Easter there’s Easter corn, aka Bunny Corn. Same general idea, but in pastel colors. I’ve always thought bunny corn tasted way sweeter than candy corn – and not nearly as good. Candy corn is ambrosia, bunny corn is a good idea gone bad. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/13 "2001-09-27T19:25:12Z")
Were Custer alive today, I wonder which he’d prefer. You’ve gotta guess he saw a coupla’ pound bags of tepees from the top of that hill. ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/14 "2001-09-27T19:35:32Z")
One year my dear friend Ashlee made a cake to celebrate Thomas Crapper’s birthday (it’s in late January, if you must know). It was a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, and it was shaped like a long ellipse, similar to…well, you know. The _piece de resistance_ was the candy corns she embedded in the frosting all over the cake. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/15 "2001-09-27T21:19:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \* > \*\*I have candy corn impacted under my fingernails from clawing the candycorn out of the way to get to the reese’s cups buried below in the candy jar at work. Candy corn is okay, but not my favorite. Call me heathen. > \*\* If you’re a heathen, Cranky, so am I. I hate those damn things. :shudder: (Sorry, **jarbabyj**. Love ya!) Give me Reese’s or Krackel anyday. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/16 "2001-09-27T21:22:20Z")
Oh, and **Fiver** , that’s totally disgusting. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/17 "2001-09-27T22:30:05Z")
Candy corn is yucky. ::gag:: ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/18 "2001-09-27T23:01:49Z")
The best part of fall is seeing the fresh bags of candy corn stacked up in the promo aisles at the grocery store. _chortles happily_ ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Crude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Crude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Crude)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/19 "2001-09-28T02:10:35Z")
Damn you, **jarbabyj**! I had just started back on my exercise regimen a few days ago, and now this thread has come up. I love candy corn as I love few other confections, and mellowcreme pumpkins besides. But I stayed strong – there are by-the-scoop candy stores all around my apartment, but they tempted me unsuccessfully. I needed to do a light shopping tonight to restock the house with food. Fruit mostly, a few bottles of diet soda, that sort of thing. Then I saw it. Brach’s, 12 oz. The only one in the store, amidst a pile of individually-wrapped Halloween garbage. Guess what followed me home. [sub]We won’t even talk about the Mallomars. They were half price with my store membership; I had no choice.[/sub] If I ever see you, I will be forced to vent my violent, tri-colored, honey-sweetened passion upon your quivering body for this outrage to my waistline. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143/20 "2001-09-28T02:16:21Z")
IMHO, it’s gotta be Brach’s candy corn; so sugary it’s almost grainy. The cutrate generic stuff tastes like lumps of wax. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-corn-mortal-ambrosia/84143.md?page=2)