# "Candy-Gram for Mongo........." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 29, 2000, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073 "2000-06-29T20:32:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/1 "2000-06-29T20:32:07Z")
_Groan_ “Are we awake?” “I don’t know…Are we…black?” “Yes, we are” “Then we’re awake, but very confused!” “Would you like some help?” “Oh…all I can get!” ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/2 "2000-06-29T20:38:46Z")
See this hand? (holds out left hand) Steady as a rock. Yeah, but I shoot with this hand (holds out extremely shaky right hand) ---
**Author:** ![winky99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/71c47a/32.png) [@winky99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winky99)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/3 "2000-06-29T20:40:10Z")
“Where all the white women at?!” ---
**Author:** ![SmoothOperator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SmoothOperator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmoothOperator)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/4 "2000-06-29T20:42:24Z")
I get no kick from champagne Mere alcohol doesn’t thrill me at all or Camp town ladies sing this song do-da do-da ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/5 "2000-06-29T20:42:34Z")
Is it twoo what they say about you people? \ It’s twoo! it’s twoo! And the line allegedly left on the cutting room floor: Madame, you’re sucking on my elbow. ---
**Author:** ![mikehardware](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5fc32e/32.png) [@mikehardware](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikehardware)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/6 "2000-06-29T20:44:44Z")
Mongo just pawn in game of life… ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/7 "2000-06-29T20:47:16Z")
“He said the sheriff is near!” ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/8 "2000-06-29T20:48:43Z")
“Good afternoon Madam” [extending middle finger] “Up yours (N-word)!” ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/9 "2000-06-29T20:52:49Z")
“Brother Johnson has the floor” “Thank you Brother Johnson” [pan over to church brethren] Shamus Johnson Bill Johnson Mike Johnson Albert Johnson Etc. Etc. P.S.-- The pudgy black actor in this movie was named Charles McGregor. After a brief spell in acting(I believe he was also in “Superfly” and another blaxploitation flick), he moved to the Bay Area in Cali. There he was employed as a Maintainence man at my brothers’ school. My father and he grew very close for a number of years. -Sam ---
**Author:** ![cygnus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@cygnus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cygnus)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/10 "2000-06-29T20:54:26Z")
“All right boys, break’s over! Don’t just lay there a-gettin’ a suntan; ain’t gonna do you no good nohow!” “Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome, c’mon in!” ---
**Author:** ![andyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@andyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andyman)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/11 "2000-06-29T20:55:55Z")
'Scuse me while I whip this out. _gasp_ ---
**Author:** ![Gilligan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Gilligan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilligan)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/12 "2000-06-29T21:00:52Z")
Not to worry, everyone is equal in my eye. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/13 "2000-06-29T21:08:25Z")
“No thanks, food makes me sick.” I actually use this from time to time. Another favorite: “I didn’t get a ‘harumph’ outta that guy.” “Give the governor a ‘harumph’”. “Harumph.” “You watch yer ass.” ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Vega](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a9adbd/32.png) [@Lord\_Vega](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Vega)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/14 "2000-06-29T21:11:55Z")
Head’em off at the pass! I HATE that cliche. V. ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/15 "2000-06-29T21:16:48Z")
You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/16 "2000-06-29T21:21:51Z")
“Thankya baby, but two is my limit on Schnitzengruben.” ---
**Author:** ![BF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5ac83/32.png) [@BF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BF)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/17 "2000-06-29T21:35:04Z")
Badges?! We doan need no steenkin’ badges!! ---
**Author:** ![Cynical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5fc32e/32.png) [@Cynical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cynical1)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/18 "2000-06-29T21:47:55Z")
“Man drinks like that and don’t eat, he’s gonna die.” “When?” ---
**Author:** ![winky99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/71c47a/32.png) [@winky99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winky99)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/19 "2000-06-29T21:53:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > “Thankya baby, but two is my limit on Schnitzengruben.” > \*\* I believe his limit was 13. And who could forget. “Somebody’s got to go back and get a shit load of dimes!” ---
**Author:** ![Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Bottle\_of\_Smoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bottle_of_Smoke)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/20 "2000-06-29T21:54:30Z")
“Are you insane? Can’t you see that man is a Ni-” “Sorry, wrong person.” “Are you insane? Can’t you see that man is a Ni-” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073.md?page=2)