# "Candy-Gram for Mongo........."

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 29, 2000, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073 "2000-06-29T20:32:07Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\
**Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/21 "2000-06-29T22:11:28Z")

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Aw shucks, you guys, Mongo STRAIGHT!

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**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\
**Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/22 "2000-06-29T22:17:27Z")

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“What’s that you’ve got in your mouth?!”

“Nuthin’”

“Oh yeah?”

“Chewing gum on line, ay?! Well, I hope you brought enough for everyone!”

“I I didn’t know!”

_BANG!__Thud!_

“man, he’s _strict!_”

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/23 "2000-06-29T22:48:50Z")

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The only thing I could think of when reading the thread title was Rush’s “Anagram for Mongo”. It appears to be a movie though. Oh well 😉

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**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\
**Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/24 "2000-06-29T23:00:35Z")

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Sorry, Coldy. This is one of the funniest movies of all time. “Blazing Saddles” by Mel Brooks. I could watch it every week. It’s kind of a musical parody of a old west cowboy movie.

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/25 "2000-06-29T23:04:45Z")

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'Tis unknown to me, but I shall try and rent it someday soon. Mel Brooks is usually pretty good fun.

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**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\
**Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/26 "2000-06-29T23:05:46Z")

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Coldy, _ANYTHING_ Mel Brooks does is funny; Some are just funnier than others!

“Shut up, you Teutonic Twat!” _slap_

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**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\
**Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/27 "2000-06-29T23:58:43Z")

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“…dancin’ around like a Kansas City faggot!”

“There, there, it’s just a man hanging a horse.”

Madeline Kahn, dressed in her merry widow and garters, crooning, “I’m tired!”, with the immortal line, “I’m not a wabbit!”

“What’s a dazzling urbanite like yourself doing in our little town?”

“What do you like to do?”  
“Oh…play chess…screw…”  
“Let’s play chess.” {said hastily}

Veb

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**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\
**Post date:** [June 29, 2000, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/28 "2000-06-29T23:59:10Z")

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Confession:  
I never saw the movie, even though it came out when I was a teen. For some unfathomable reason, I never got a chance to see it, even though it’s been on TV (HBO?). Something always came up.

So, yesterday I rent the DVD, and watched it last night. Great movie.

Today, I see this post. How did you guys know I’d just seen the movie? Do I need to invest in an aluminum foil hat?

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**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/29 "2000-06-30T00:06:40Z")

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::the sheriff, holding a gun to his own head::  
“Awright, nobody move or I’ll shoot the n-----!”

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**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/30 "2000-06-30T00:10:06Z")

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_Blazing Saddles_ and _Young FRankenstein_ are tied for the two funniest movies ever made IMO. Mel collaborated with some geniuses of comedy for those and sadly never did anything nearly as good after that. They were also some of the first DVDs I ever bought. Now if Paramount would only wise up and release _The Godfather_ and _The Godfather Part II_ (they can keep III) on DVD. At least they’re in print on VHS again but it’s not the same.

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**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/31 "2000-06-30T01:30:18Z")

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But where would I find such a man? Why am I asking you?

Alright, we’ll take the Niggers and the Chinks, but we don’t want the Irish! (I’m Irish and find this hilarious)

(Gov. trying to replace fountain pen in its holder)  
Help me in with this, help me in with this.  
Think of your secretary.

Why do I always get a warped one?!

What in the wide wide world of sports is a-goin’ on here? I hired you boys to lay some track, not jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots!

(Madeline receiving a bunch of flowers) Oh, how ordinawy.

Come to think of it, why don’t I just recite the whole movie for you? (Sings) He rode a Blazing Saddle . . .

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**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/32 "2000-06-30T01:48:36Z")

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Mongo not nice to horses…

But he has that certain aura about him…

Man, I’m old - I remember him with the Lions…

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**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/33 "2000-06-30T03:57:45Z")

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“They lose me after the bunker scene.”

“Let’s get em, girls!”

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**Author:** ![Lux\_Fiat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc79bd/32.png) [@Lux\_Fiat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lux_Fiat)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/34 "2000-06-30T04:15:27Z")

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“Spanish balloons?”

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**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/35 "2000-06-30T04:29:16Z")

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\<Chinaman collapses\>  
Lyle: Dock that chink a days pay for nappin’ on the job!  
Taggart: God dammit, Mr. Lamarr sir, you use your tongue purdier than a twenny dollar whore!

Taggart: I got it! I got it!  
Lamarr: You do?  
Taggart: We’ll work up a “Number 6” on ‘em.  
Lamarr: “Number 6”? I’m afraid I’m not familiar with that one…  
Taggart: Well, that’s where we go a-ridin’ into town, a whampin’ and whompin’ every livin’ thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course. Lamarr: You spare the women?  
Taggart: NAW! We rape the shit out of them at the Number 6 Dance later on!  
Lamarr: Marvelous!  
Lyle: The way you was lollygagging with them picks and shovels, you would think it was a hundred and twenty degrees out here. Can’t be more 'n a hundred and fourteen!  
Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?  
Applicant: Rape, murder, robbery, and rape.  
Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice…  
Applicant: I like rape.  
Bart: Now, I suppose you’re all wondering just what in the heck you’re doing out here in the middle of a prairie in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night.  
Crowd: You bet your ass!

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**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/36 "2000-06-30T05:07:52Z")

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Well, Vestal, you and I are a match made in heaven.  
Cinnamon oil and Blazing Saddles…not necessarily in that order!!

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**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/37 "2000-06-30T06:20:51Z")

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Hedley Lamarr: I’ve decided to launch an attack that will reduce Rock Ridge to ashes.  
Taggert: What do you want me to do sir?  
Hedley Lamarr: Take this down: I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the West…I want rustlers, cut-throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nit-wits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bush-whackers, horn-swagglers, horse-thieves, bull-dykes, train-robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists!

Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?  
Sheriff Bart: Stampeding cattle.  
Hedley Lamarr: That’s not much of a crime.  
Sheriff Bart: Through the Vatican?  
Hedley Lamarr: Kinky.

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**Author:** ![winky99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/71c47a/32.png) [@winky99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/winky99)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/38 "2000-06-30T13:59:45Z")

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“They said you was hung.”

“And they were right.”

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**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/39 "2000-06-30T14:09:50Z")

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It’s been a while, so please excuse me if I paraphrase.

Going through the motions at my mindless job I frequently recall the governor (MB) signing his name to who knows what.  
“Work, work, work. How ya doin, boys? (the last spoken to his secretary’s cleavage).”

And how did it go?  
“Mongo just a pawn in the chess game of life.”

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**Author:** ![Fillet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/2acd7d/32.png) [@Fillet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fillet)\
**Post date:** [June 30, 2000, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/candy-gram-for-mongo/24073/40 "2000-06-30T14:14:35Z")

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“My name is HEDLEY…”

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