# Cannibal in South Beach - Someone buy this dude a Big Mac **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 27, 2012, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254 "2012-05-27T16:16:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/1 "2012-05-27T16:16:52Z")
Only in America. šŸ˜› > [@](#): > > The officer, who has not been identified, approached and saw that the naked man was actually chewing the other manā€™s head, according to witnesses. The officer ordered the naked man to back away, and when he continued the assault, the officer shot him. The attacker continued to eat the man, despite being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots. > \ > The other man was transported to the hospital with critical injuries, according to police. Their identities were not released. > > The incident, which came as crowds descended upon South Beach for the annual Urban Beach Week hip-hop festival, snarled traffic on the causeway for several hours. [http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/crime/miami-police-shoot-kill-naked-man-who-was-2377343.html](http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/crime/miami-police-shoot-kill-naked-man-who-was-2377343.html) > [@](#): > > One man was shot to death by Miami police, and another man is fighting for his life after he was attacked, and his face allegedly half eaten, by a naked man on the MacArthur Causeway off ramp Saturday, police said. > > Read more here: [http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/26/2818832/naked-man-shot-killed-on-macarthur.html#storylink=cpy](http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/26/2818832/naked-man-shot-killed-on-macarthur.html#storylink=cpy) ---
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/2 "2012-05-27T16:55:58Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Only in America. šŸ˜› > [http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/crime/miami-police-shoot-kill-naked-man-who-was-2377343.html](http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/crime/miami-police-shoot-kill-naked-man-who-was-2377343.html) I think this is how the Zombie Apocalypse starts. [QUOTE=] The officer ordered the naked man to back away, and when he continued the assault, the officer shot him. The attacker continued to eat the man, despite being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/3 "2012-05-27T16:59:20Z")
ā€œLand Sharkā€ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/4 "2012-05-27T17:13:33Z")
It will probably come out that the other manā€™s name was Mac. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/5 "2012-05-27T17:15:01Z")
Itā€™s times like this that Iā€™m so proud to live in South Florida. Oddly, the headlines Iā€™ve happen to see just focus on the guy being naked. I had no idea he was trying to eat the other guy until I read this thread. We have so many nutty headlines here that I donā€™t bother reading the articles anymore. -D/a ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/6 "2012-05-27T17:17:47Z")
Big Mac? I was thinking heā€™d prefer some fava beans and a nice Chianti. ---
**Author:** ![limegreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/82dd89/32.png) [@limegreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/limegreen)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/7 "2012-05-27T17:27:15Z")
I would not be volunteering to be the eateeā€™s nurse. You know heā€™s going to turn any minute. He should be double-tapped immediately. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/8 "2012-05-27T17:59:51Z")
Keep your ugly fuckinā€™ goldbrickinā€™ ass out of my beach community. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/9 "2012-05-27T18:02:07Z")
Come on. No South Beach diet jokes yet? You guyā€™s are getting slow in your old age. And man, you gotta be sure THIS scenario wasnā€™t in the police manual. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/10 "2012-05-27T18:05:32Z")
This only goes to prove you should be careful who you say ā€œBite me!ā€ to. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/11 "2012-05-27T18:57:04Z")
This IS the zombie apocalypse! ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/12 "2012-05-27T20:15:38Z")
We need to face this problem head on. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/13 "2012-05-27T20:26:37Z")
Iā€™m sure the South Beach community will try to put a good face on it. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/14 "2012-05-27T21:53:48Z")
Some vidcaps from the surveillance video. Mostly just legs of the two naked guys. Nothing bloody or gross > **[Naked man shot dead by police as he chewed victim's face off by side of freeway](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2150585/Naked-man-shot-dead-police-chewed-mans-face-leaving-victim-fighting-life.html)** > > Police tried to stop a man on an off-ramp of a major roadway in Miami, Florida from chewing on another man's head after he managed to eat half of it. I canā€™t imagine what this guy was hopped up on. Zombie indeed. They shot this guy multiple times and he just keeps eating away at the victimā€™s face. Add in all the young people driving in for the Urban Beach Week Hip Hop festival (Zombie victims). Somebody has to make this movie. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/15 "2012-05-27T21:55:47Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Only in America. šŸ˜› Wasnā€™t that guy in the news a few years back looking for a sexual, cannibalistic relationship in Germany? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/16 "2012-05-28T17:57:19Z")
A man walked up to me on the street today and said he hadnā€™t had a bite for days. So I bit him. ---
**Author:** ![fifty-six](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@fifty-six](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fifty-six)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/17 "2012-05-28T18:03:47Z")
Big Macs are made out of people/brains? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/18 "2012-05-28T20:09:11Z")
Luckily, there _is_ a [contingency plan](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wict7gMWcR8#t=10m58s) for just this kind of incident. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/19 "2012-05-28T20:17:35Z")
> [@fifty-six](#): > > Big Macs are made out of people/brains? Of course not. Donā€™t be stupid. But if the economy keeps a tanking and the obesity epidemic keeps a growingā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/20 "2012-05-28T20:33:59Z")
> [@fifty-six](#): > > Big Macs are made out of people/brains? > [@billfish678](#): > > Of course not. Donā€™t be stupid. But if the economy keeps a tanking and the obesity epidemic keeps a growingā€¦ McSoylent? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254.md?page=2)