# Cannibal in South Beach - Someone buy this dude a Big Mac **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 27, 2012, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254 "2012-05-27T16:16:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/21 "2012-05-28T21:18:03Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > This only goes to prove you should be careful who you say “Bite me!” to. You just might end up losing face? ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/22 "2012-05-28T21:45:31Z")
Nicholas Cage and John Travolta could not be reached for comment. [spoiler]You wanna take his face– ``` Yes. Take his face *off*.[/spoiler] ``` ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/23 "2012-05-29T01:20:07Z")
Apparently they did try shooting him, but _he just growled at them and kept eating_. That freaks me out. Also that the victim’s eyeballs were gone. ---
**Author:** ![fifty-six](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@fifty-six](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fifty-six)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/24 "2012-05-29T02:56:30Z")
I guess don’t understand how Big Macs deter zombies? ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/25 "2012-05-29T02:59:08Z")
> [@fifty-six](#): > > I guess don’t understand how Big Macs deter zombies? Little, if any, meat content. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/26 "2012-05-29T03:34:38Z")
The attacker has been identified. Victim’s name withheld while they notify kin. [http://www.local10.com/news/News/Witness-describes-face-eating-man-shot-by-police/-/7659550/14236278/-/djbd6z/-/index.html](http://www.local10.com/news/News/Witness-describes-face-eating-man-shot-by-police/-/7659550/14236278/-/djbd6z/-/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/27 "2012-05-29T05:34:32Z")
Just saw this in the paper. Why didn’t the victim fight back? ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/28 "2012-05-29T06:38:26Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > McSoylent? Close… Soylent McGreen. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/29 "2012-05-29T06:54:32Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > Apparently they did try shooting him, but _he just growled at them and kept eating_. That freaks me out. Also that the victim’s eyeballs were gone. so the documentaries got it all wrong. a zombie would not abandon a kill to chase after you. good to know. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/30 "2012-05-29T12:47:47Z")
I heard on the news this morning that the police are claiming a “bad batch of acid” has hit the streets of Miami. They say that it causes the body temperature to rise so high that the users feel the need to strip and that it messes up your brain so much you do things like try and eat your buddy’s face. I still say they’re trying to keep the population calm while they try and stop the zombie apocalypse. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/31 "2012-05-29T13:30:39Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > I still say they’re trying to keep the population calm while they try and stop the zombie apocalypse. Ha! In this day and age, in _this_ economy, in the _south_? The beginnings of a zombie outbreak would cause a bigger tourist boom than a confirmed bigfoot capture. If anything, they’d just be delaying the official announcement until they can get the special hunting licenses prepared and the hotels staffed up. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/32 "2012-05-29T14:00:20Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > The attacker has been identified. Victim’s name withheld while they notify kin. > [http://www.local10.com/news/News/Witness-describes-face-eating-man-shot-by-police/-/7659550/14236278/-/djbd6z/-/index.html](http://www.local10.com/news/News/Witness-describes-face-eating-man-shot-by-police/-/7659550/14236278/-/djbd6z/-/index.html) “I wouldn’t say he had mental problems…” said the suspect’s ex-wife. Sugar, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and speculate that people without severe mental illness do NOT go out and chew people’s faces off, no matter what drugs they’re on. > [@Moonlitherial](#): > > I heard on the news this morning that the police are claiming a “bad batch of acid” has hit the streets of Miami. They say that it causes the body temperature to rise so high that the users feel the need to strip and that it messes up your brain so much you do things like try and eat your buddy’s face. Ahh, yes. I remember the early 70s when a rash of bad acid caused twelve face-chewing deaths in San Francisco in a matter of months. In all seriousness, I could believe this homeless guy was on acid, though it sounds more like PCP. Either way, I’m sure he was completely mentally fucked well before he took whatever drug(s) that he did. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/33 "2012-05-29T16:26:01Z")
I would guess the drug was very likely [sherm](http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sherm). If not, then perhaps bath salts. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/34 "2012-05-29T17:52:05Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Big Mac? I was thinking he’d prefer some fava beans and a nice Chianti. No, not with face. Pinot Grigio and haricot vert go better with face. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/35 "2012-05-29T20:04:17Z")
If you come across a link to the picture of the victim, do not click on it. You will be much better off without that image in your mind. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/36 "2012-05-29T20:15:48Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > No, not with face. Pinot Grigio and haricot vert go better with face. PBR goes well with ass. Add some saltine crackers if you wanna get all fancy and shit. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/37 "2012-05-29T22:35:55Z")
This is why, back around the time PCP first hit the streets, that the cops decided that the venerable .38 Special revolver just wasn’t enough gun. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/38 "2012-05-29T22:44:12Z")
I think this had more to do with it. [1986 FBI Miami shootout - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1986_FBI_Miami_shootout) ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/39 "2012-05-29T22:47:50Z")
There were reports of a fight. Not many details. I’d imagine the victim didn’t have much of a chance. Zombie guy took quite a few bullets before he finally went down. He was growling and chewing that guys face the whole time. Guys on drugs can have amazing strength and resistance to pain. It takes more than fists to stop them. > [@AaronX](#): > > Just saw this in the paper. Why didn’t the victim fight back? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254/40 "2012-05-29T23:11:24Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > I think this had more to do with it. > > [1986 FBI Miami shootout - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1986_FBI_Miami_shootout) Little bit earlier than that. [.357 Magnum.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/.357_Magnum) > [@](#): > > The .357 Magnum was collaboratively developed over a period in the early to mid-1930s by a group of individuals in a direct response to Colt’s .38 Super Automatic. At the time, the .38 Super was the only American pistol cartridge capable of defeating automobile cover and the early ballistic vests that were just beginning to emerge in the post-World War I “Gangster Era.”[6] Tests at the time revealed that those vests defeated any handgun cartridge traveling at less than about 1000 ft/s. Colt’s .38 Super Automatic just edged over that velocity and was able to penetrate car doors and vests that bootleggers and gangsters were employing as cover. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cannibal-in-south-beach-someone-buy-this-dude-a-big-mac/623254.md?page=3)