# "Can't touch this". **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 14, 2007, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938 "2007-06-14T00:44:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/21 "2007-06-14T13:02:51Z")
[QUOTE=Beaucarnea] [Have you guys seen this Hallmark commercial?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWIAIfRHaU0) Awesome. [/QUOTE] Yeah, sometimes they come up with a good one. Pops can bust a move, eh? ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/22 "2007-06-14T13:06:03Z")
[QUOTE=Martini Enfield] I believe Mr. Hammer is making reference to his advanced skill in various dance moves, and is further asserting that said skills will not only pay the bills, but are so far in advance of the skills possessed by his contemporaries that any further comment or discussion on the subject would be irrelevant at best. FWIW, Peter Griffin’s version is just as good. 😃 [/QUOTE] Cherokee people didn’t have a word for scrotum. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/23 "2007-06-14T13:19:40Z")
I believe that Mr Hammerstein intended it as a public service announcement, a warning, a portent of impending unfortunate results, a strip of “crime scene do not enter”, a kind of urban epiphany, the equivalent of a sign with a hand touching something but with a red diagonal drawn across it, a taunt, a dare, a mournful cry for the psoriasis sufferers or some supposedly cool, but actually meaningless, shit. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/24 "2007-06-14T13:28:57Z")
[QUOTE=mangeorge] Cherokee people didn’t have a word for scrotum. [/QUOTE] I’m sure they would have if it was many-coloured. 😃 (Just in case you’re not trying to whoosh me, it’s actually a _Duckman_ quote. The other two are from The Pointy-Haired Boss and Jay “The Critic” Sherman, respectively.) ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/25 "2007-06-14T14:43:07Z")
[QUOTE=Martini Enfield] I’m sure they would have if it was many-coloured. 😃 (Just in case you’re not trying to whoosh me, it’s actually a _Duckman_ quote. The other two are from The Pointy-Haired Boss and Jay “The Critic” Sherman, respectively.) [/QUOTE] Some used to say things like " \*\*\*\* people don’t have a word for (war), (hate), (lie), (etc)". Just another way of imparting great wisdom. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/26 "2007-06-14T14:55:07Z")
[QUOTE=mangeorge] Yeah, dance and music skils. Some (guys) think it’s sexual. Overtly sexual. [/QUOTE] How would it be sexual? He’s saying you CAN’T touch this. Of course, later on, “this” would refer to the vast amounts of assets he accumulated that, thank’s to his creditor, he now “can’t touch”. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/27 "2007-06-14T15:16:03Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] How would it be sexual? He’s saying you CAN’T touch this. Of course, later on, “this” would refer to the vast amounts of assets he accumulated that, thank’s to his creditor, he now “can’t touch”. [/QUOTE] Well. he could be denying sexual contact th the ubiquitous “you” out there. ButI think he is, indeed, bragging. With good reason, imo. How many of us between the ages of 5 and 50 at the time didn’t at least do a little sit dance upon hearing the tune. ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/28 "2007-06-14T16:01:25Z")
[QUOTE=Martini Enfield] FWIW, Peter Griffin’s version is just as good. 😃 [/QUOTE] But Brak’s is 10x better. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/29 "2007-06-14T20:17:58Z")
[QUOTE=JSexton] But Brak’s is 10x better. [/QUOTE] For some reason, now I can’t help but think of Zorak’s great intonation, “C’mon, be a man! Be a Klugman!” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/30 "2007-06-14T20:25:18Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] Imagine, telling millions of woman the world over, you can’t come near _this_. Based on the fact that you told them they can’t have _this_, they’ll be beating down your door to get at _this_. [/QUOTE] How is one supposed to get to it through all those layers of fabric? If “you know what” means what I think it means. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/31 "2007-06-14T20:57:13Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] How is one supposed to get to it through all those layers of fabric? If “you know what” means what I think it means. [/QUOTE] That’s when the record changes and “The Walk” by The Time starts playing. > [@](#): > > Zip, snap, and drop: > Easy access, baby ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/32 "2007-06-14T21:05:11Z")
[alte Schule!](http://a5.vox.com/6a00c2251e121e8fdb00c225260d65549d-320pi) ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/33 "2007-06-14T21:07:49Z")
[QUOTE=mangeorge] Compared to the SDMB, my sample is very small. So, no I didn’t. [/QUOTE] You know, there are surgical options and support groups for that. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/34 "2007-06-14T21:41:08Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] How is one supposed to get to it through all those layers of fabric? If “you know what” means what I think it means. [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=KneadToKnow] That’s when the record changes and “The Walk” by The Time starts playing. [/QUOTE] > [@](#): > > Originally Sung by **The Time:** > Zip, snap, and drop: > Easy access, baby Either that, or the parachute pants version of [these](http://www.amazon.com/Sportsman-Collection-Charles-River-Apparel/dp/B00020OHNE). ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2007, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/35 "2007-06-14T22:23:29Z")
[QUOTE=mangeorge] (+ “U” sometimes). Without looking it up, what do you think Hammer meant by this lyric? Peace, mangeorge [/QUOTE] I’ve always taken it to mean that the life he was living then was so sweet that no one else could relate to (touch) it. [Here’s](http://youtube.com/watch?v=cwr7NseyPUY) a funny take on Hammer’s video by Tommy Davidson of _In Living Color_. (And who’s the girl on the right? She’s slightly out sync, sort of like she didn’t have time to master all the moves, but I can’t take my eyes off her anyway. I’m thinkin’ maybe JLo as she looked quite a bit different then, but I’m not sure.) ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2007, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/36 "2007-06-15T02:04:28Z")
[QUOTE=Starving Artist] I’ve always taken it to mean that the life he was living then was so sweet that no one else could relate to (touch) it. [Here’s](http://youtube.com/watch?v=cwr7NseyPUY) a funny take on Hammer’s video by Tommy Davidson of _In Living Color_. (And who’s the girl on the right? She’s slightly out sync, sort of like she didn’t have time to master all the moves, but I can’t take my eyes off her anyway. I’m thinkin’ maybe JLo as she looked quite a bit different then, but I’m not sure.) [/QUOTE] That’s not JLo. She wasn’t on the show then. And I agree with the above posters who cited the Hallmark commercial. That is the best commercial ever made, and I love the man in it. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2007, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/37 "2007-06-15T04:45:29Z")
[QUOTE=monstro] That’s not JLo. She wasn’t on the show then. [/QUOTE] Thanks. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2007, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/38 "2007-06-15T05:12:51Z")
Okay, but what the hell does “Whoomp, there it is!” mean? ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2007, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/39 "2007-06-15T10:50:56Z")
It’s about something that you can’t touch. Presumably, Hammer _can_ touch it. ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2007, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938/40 "2007-06-16T03:11:34Z")
People who think they “need” Hammers are just ostentatious a-holes who could obviously get by with a more economical rapper. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cant-touch-this/407938.md?page=3)