# Capt. James Kirk to command cutting edge new naval vessel **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 31, 2013, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774 "2013-10-31T19:24:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/21 "2013-11-01T19:05:53Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > I wonder what it’s mission is. Pretty obvious: sneak up on shit and destroy it, eh? And to boldly split infinitives. I wonder how old Captain Kirk is–did his parents name him that on purpose, or is just a coincedence? I knew a Sgt. Slaughter in the Army, that was always fun. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/22 "2013-11-01T19:16:48Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > Pretty obvious: sneak up on shit and destroy it, eh? And to boldly split infinitives. > > I wonder how old Captain Kirk is–did his parents name him that on purpose, or is just a coincedence? I knew a Sgt. Slaughter in the Army, that was always fun. His [Navy bio](http://www.public.navy.mil/surfor/ddg1000/Pages/Bio1.aspx#.UnP-OPleYj5) says he graduated the Naval Academy in 1990, which would put him around 45 now, and born in 1968, during the original series initial broadcast. Unfortunately it doesn’t say what the A stands for, but hopefully it’s Augustus. > [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > Apparently, he has about [12 years](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Enterprise_(CVN-80)) to work his way up… [hijack]So all the recent Presidents up to Bush will soon have a ship or sub named after them. Wonder what they’re going to name after Clinton? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/23 "2013-11-01T19:24:08Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/24 "2013-11-01T19:28:10Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > [hijack]So all the recent Presidents up to Bush will soon have a ship or sub named after them. Wonder what they’re going to name after Clinton? Probably not [a submarine](https://www.google.com/search?q=emergency+blow&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=oQB0UoGeMfPJsQTb-oGgBg&ved=0CDAQsAQ&biw=1329&bih=826). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/25 "2013-11-01T19:35:46Z")
Imagine being the doctor on the Zumwalt, just _waiting_ for your first fatality and the opportunity to deliver the appropriate line. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/26 "2013-11-01T21:23:08Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Probably not [a submarine](https://www.google.com/search?q=emergency+blow&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=oQB0UoGeMfPJsQTb-oGgBg&ved=0CDAQsAQ&biw=1329&bih=826). 😃 That was low-hanging fruit, Mr. Skywatcher.:o ---
**Author:** ![Telperion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telperion/32/509_2.png) [@Telperion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperion)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2013, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/27 "2013-11-01T23:22:12Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Google translate renders Zum walt at ‘For Violence’ I think it’s a derivation of Waldau (forest clearing). ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/28 "2013-11-02T16:16:44Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Well, it’s James A. Kirk, not James T. Kirk. Bah, it’s not “T”, it’s “R”. That “Tiberius” stuff is just a bunch of retcon nonsense. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2013, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/29 "2013-11-02T16:19:39Z")
> [@The Great Sun Jester](#): > > That was low-hanging fruit, Mr. Skywatcher.:o Ha! I clicked on the link and laughed… and then realized the little windows pointy-finger icon was positioned jusssst sssoooo over a part of one of the images to make it look like it was holding a jaunty cigar. Ya can’t make this shit up. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2013, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/30 "2013-11-03T16:26:48Z")
Turns out it was Capt. Roykirk. How embarrassing. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2013, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/31 "2013-11-04T01:33:54Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > [hijack]So all the recent Presidents up to Bush will soon have a ship or sub named after them. Wonder what they’re going to name after Clinton? Everyone from Roosevelt to the older Bush save for Nixon, apparently, and all but two of them a carrier. I suspect that with the drawdown in numbers, we will see a hiatus in naming ships after former Presidents in their lifetimes. Reagan, Carter and Bush had their ships launched while they lived though only Bush and Carter were able to see them fully operational (RR was already too far gone when his was commissioned). So it may be a while before we have to figure out what we will name USS W.J.Clinton, USS G.W.Bush and USS Obama. FDR and Truman were no-brainers for having been the WW2 CinCs, Ike for having been SACEUR as well as President. JFK was a navy combat vet and had sky-high popularity; Ronnie was Army never-left-CONUS in WW2 but had the high popularity AND presided over a large naval build-up so that counts. Jerry Ford and Poppy Bush are especially appropriate to get carriers as they themselves fought on carriers in the Pacific; similarly Jimmy Carter, first Annapolis grad, submariner and nuke to become POTUS, was a logical choice to get a nuclear sub. LBJ will get one of the stealth Z-destroyers. Now, a destroyer for a Pesident normally would be seen as damning with faint praise. But (a) we no longer have that many ships to name, (b) looking at the numbers, that thing is really closer to a cruiser so you can argue it’s still a capital ship, and (c) Lyndon’s record as a Navy man was kind of bumpy anyway. Meanwhile Navy REMF Dick Nixon… dang. Got nothin’, man. A SIGINT-gathering ship, maybe? ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2013, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/32 "2013-11-04T01:57:32Z")
Mutiny risk: “Hey, I’m the strongest and smartest in this ship. And I’m only number two!” ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2013, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/33 "2013-11-04T17:15:29Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > [QUOTE=Amateur Barbarian] > There was a strong effort to name one of these three ships the USS Robert Heinlein. It failed. But now wouldn’t THAT have been cool… Proof that the PTB aren’t literate, that’s for sure. [/QUOTE] Heinlein only rose to lieutenant. I don’t think he would qualify to have a destroyer named after him. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2013, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/34 "2013-11-04T17:34:03Z")
I like to think he’s incredibly incompetent, but just got promoted up to Captain because someone liked the joke of having a Captain Kirk in the Navy. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/35 "2013-11-04T17:48:42Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > I like to think he’s incredibly incompetent, but just got promoted up to Captain because someone liked the joke of having a Captain Kirk in the Navy. ::Shakes fist:: **Capt Kirk** ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/36 "2013-11-04T18:38:30Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > I like to think he’s incredibly incompetent, but just got promoted up to Captain because someone liked the joke of having a Captain Kirk in the Navy. Think about this, then: somewhere in the USN is a Bo’sun Higgs. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2013, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/37 "2013-11-04T18:51:24Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > … Meanwhile Navy REMF Dick Nixon… dang. Got nothin’, man. A SIGINT-gathering ship, maybe? I’m guessing they don’t have prison ships anymore … ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/38 "2013-11-04T19:16:58Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I’m guessing they don’t have prison ships anymore … Maybe a class of target practice ships ? ---
**Author:** ![That\_Don\_Guy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/that_don_guy/32/538_2.png) [@That\_Don\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/That_Don_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2013, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/39 "2013-11-04T20:37:52Z")
It must be some destroyer, if they need a captain to be the CO rather than a commander. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2013, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774/40 "2013-11-04T21:44:04Z")
> [@That\_Don\_Guy](#): > > It must be some destroyer, if they need a captain to be the CO rather than a commander. Stats on the [_Zumwalt_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Zumwalt_(DDG-1000)): Displacement, 14,564 tons; length, 600 feet. [_Baltimore_ class heavy cruiser](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baltimore-class_cruiser) (World War II era): Displacement, 14,500 tons (17,273 tons full load); length, 673 feet 5 inches. [_Fletcher_ class destroyer](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fletcher_class_destroyer) (World War II era): Displacement, 2,050 tons (2,500 tons full load); length 376.5 feet. The current main destroyer class, the [_Arleigh Burkes_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arleigh_Burke-class_destroyer), are also pretty damned hefty (8,184-9,600 tons; 505-509 feet). The _Zumwalt_ class will have considerably smaller crews than a World War II cruiser: 142 total, as compared to over a thousand officers and men for a _Baltimore_ class cruiser, 329 for a _Fletcher_ class destroyer, and 303-323 for an _Arleigh Burke_ class destroyer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/capt-james-kirk-to-command-cutting-edge-new-naval-vessel/672774.md?page=3)