# Captain Amerigo **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 23, 2009, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761 "2009-06-23T21:13:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/21 "2009-06-24T20:22:09Z")
Why did the Medicis send Christopher Columbus out to discover America if they already knew it was there? If they had already discovered America through unspecified other means, they didn’t need Columbus. And besides, the Italians weren’t the ones who blocked the spice trade, the Turks were. Fall of Constantinople in 1452 anyone? Plus, Atlas didn’t hold up the globe–he held up the sky. Except when Herakles held it up for him for a while, so Atlas could get the golden apples of the Hesperides. Then Atlas changed his mind about holding up the sky again. Atlas wasn’t very bright, so when Herakles asked Atlas if he could at least fold up his lion skin to make a cushion for his shoulders, Atlas agreed and took up the sky for a minute. Of course the ancient philosophers knew the world was spherical, and so did the court astronomers of Ferdinand and Isabella–those who weren’t expelled for being Jewish anyway. But they also knew how large the Earth was, and they knew that the Indies were too far away to sail across the world. But Columbus thought the Earth was much smaller, and it was doable. He was wrong of course. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/22 "2009-06-24T20:30:46Z")
> [@Dogberry](#): > > That’s all well and good, but doesn’t account for the communist infiltration of fire departments. See, fire engines have four wheels and eight men. Four and eight are twelve. There are twelve inches in a foot, and a foot makes a ruler. Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and also the largest (at the time) ship to sail the seven seas. The seas have fish, the fish have fins, the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians were (at the time) red. Fire engines are always rushin’, so that’s why fire engines became red. (But I’m sure the papists and the Medicis fit in there somewhere, too.) > > :rolleyes: And our precious bodily fluids! ---
**Author:** ![ebbtide3721](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e5b9ba/32.png) [@ebbtide3721](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ebbtide3721)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/23 "2009-06-24T20:43:41Z")
:smack:Back then governments were sort of like prisons. People as a whole did not behave as they do now. They were more like animals that only followed instinctual behaviors. If you were in a jailhouse would you go up to the toughest and highest respected man(or woman) and tell them that you want them dead or call them a b$#!\* a$$ h\*. No because your head would be on the floor the next day. However, these powerful people in jail don’t make a pimple on the warden’s butt(Medici,Templars,Federal Reserve Temple). These wardens asess the situation of the jailhouse and make changes based good or bad behavior. Those under them who understand the mass situation the best are put in command(i.e. Queen Elizabeth, Barack Obama)of the many prisons,whom themselves often succeed to Fed Reserve Temple Knight(i.e.Greenspan,Bernanke)which would be like the prison guard system. We are literally serving a life sentence with a death penalty at the end. Thank God it’s as nice as it is! When all people actually, naturally live as one world, as one family and help each other because they really care about everybody living,being happy,healthy and prosperous you’ll see the warden let everyone out for good behavior. How much do you actually care about your neighbor in China? We have to live as a family to LIVE. Until then, I guess it’s left up to the warden and I for one will protect the sanctity of peace and enlightenment by enlightening others.🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/24 "2009-06-25T00:10:37Z")
> [@ebbtide3721](#): > > I for one will protect the sanctity of peace and enlightenment by enlightening others.🆒 Then for the love of all that’s holy stop doing whatever it is you’re doing now and start enlightening us. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/25 "2009-06-25T00:35:41Z")
> [@ebbtide3721](#): > > :smack:Back then governments were sort of like prisons. People as a whole did not behave as they do now. They were more like animals that only followed instinctual behaviors. If you were in a jailhouse would you go up to the toughest and highest respected man(or woman) and tell them that you want them dead or call them a b$#!\* a$$ h\*. No because your head would be on the floor the next day. However, these powerful people in jail don’t make a pimple on the warden’s butt(Medici,Templars,Federal Reserve Temple). These wardens asess the situation of the jailhouse and make changes based good or bad behavior. Those under them who understand the mass situation the best are put in command(i.e. Queen Elizabeth, Barack Obama)of the many prisons,whom themselves often succeed to Fed Reserve Temple Knight(i.e.Greenspan,Bernanke)which would be like the prison guard system. We are literally serving a life sentence with a death penalty at the end. Thank God it’s as nice as it is! When all people actually, naturally live as one world, as one family and help each other because they really care about everybody living,being happy,healthy and prosperous you’ll see the warden let everyone out for good behavior. How much do you actually care about your neighbor in China? We have to live as a family to LIVE. Until then, I guess it’s left up to the warden and I for one will protect the sanctity of peace and enlightenment by enlightening others.🆒 Since this is basically a rant, let’s go visit the BBQ Pit. Moved. **samclem** ---
**Author:** ![ebbtide3721](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e5b9ba/32.png) [@ebbtide3721](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ebbtide3721)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/26 "2009-06-25T06:02:33Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > Since this is basically a rant, let’s go visit the BBQ Pit. Moved. > > **samclem** Wow, ignorance at it’s best! No wonder people of higher intelligence hide from you, and you’re supposed to be the moderator?! Instead of bringing me to the so called bbq pit(and you know i love ribs) why don’t you try talking to me. Your entire shared site is based on the ethics I speak of, just read your terms and conditions(oh, i forgot, you didn’t write those!) Well let’s just have a bbq then, but let’s bbq shrimp! I love eating shrimp!! ---
**Author:** ![ebbtide3721](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e5b9ba/32.png) [@ebbtide3721](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ebbtide3721)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/27 "2009-06-25T06:07:28Z")
> [@Exapno\_Mapcase](#): > > Then for the love of all that’s holy stop doing whatever it is you’re doing now and start enlightening us. Create yourself in a self respectable manner. ---
**Author:** ![ebbtide3721](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e5b9ba/32.png) [@ebbtide3721](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ebbtide3721)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/28 "2009-06-25T06:09:06Z")
Ask more specific questions, I’m not ignorant and I may be able to assist you. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/29 "2009-06-25T08:22:24Z")
Excuse me, I realize this is probably not the proper place for this, but it wasn’t “Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain” who financed Columbus: it was Isabella of Castille, with no contribution from her husband Ferdinand of Aragon. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/30 "2009-06-25T09:27:55Z")
Actually, I think it’s entirely the proper place. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/31 "2009-06-25T10:03:12Z")
Someone get the net, I think I found someone of higher intelligence hiding from us and we’re going to have to wrangle them out. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/32 "2009-06-25T10:14:34Z")
From _Moonstruck_: Cosmo: What’s the matter, pop? Pop: (sobbing) I’m confused! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/33 "2009-06-25T11:38:18Z")
I thought this was a rant about funny leader names in Medieval 2: Total War. Especially when you don’t have a Named General around, it draws on stock names of ethnically-appropriate “Captain” names which are sometimes funny: For Spain you can sometimes get: Captain Amerigo Captain Jesus For Scotland you can sometimes have: Captain Kirk ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/34 "2009-06-25T11:40:56Z")
If we could harness it as an energy source, the nuttiness in the OP could power Pittsburgh. That’s what they call weapons-grade crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/35 "2009-06-25T12:03:15Z")
What a trip. I was with you, man. The OP confused me, but I thought I was riding that crazy train with you. You have subsequently failed to get off the train at the last stop in Lucidville, and I’m afraid you’ve continued your journey without me. Bummer. I was rather enjoying m’self. (Ever notice how if you keep saying fnord, it gets funnier? No, just me, eh? _shrug_) ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/36 "2009-06-25T13:05:09Z")
Is there anything in the OP’s rant that might change my work schedule or financial situation in the near future? If not, I’m afraid I can’t take the time to read it, with or without paragraph breaks. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/37 "2009-06-25T13:17:49Z")
Too long and crazy, DNR. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/38 "2009-06-25T13:43:41Z")
Well, when Captain Amerigo throws his mighty shield, all those who chose to oppose his shield must yield. That’s what happens when the red and the white and the blue come through-- when Captain Amerigo throws his mighty shield. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/39 "2009-06-25T14:19:15Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Well, when Captain Amerigo throws his mighty shield, all those who chose to oppose his shield must yield. That’s what happens when the red and the white and the blue come through-- when Captain Amerigo throws his mighty shield. Nevertheless, he was defeated by Batman of Aragon. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761/40 "2009-06-25T14:20:09Z")
God bless Vespucciland! 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-amerigo/500761.md?page=3)