# Captain Buckleberryferry and the crew of "The Ted" -sign up here- **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997 "2003-07-26T00:43:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/221 "2003-07-30T18:03:22Z")
That’d be the _Pearl_, o’ course, less Cap’n Jack made a few changes I don’t know about. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/222 "2003-07-30T18:25:21Z")
Just in case, Cap’n, shall we be loaden’ up the big guns? :: looks at splotch on port horizon :: :: pulls out Palm Pilot, starts making computations :: Whatever it be, it be too far e’en for the long nines. Whose rag it be flyin? Arr, **lindarielle13** , GIT those nine-pounders outta yer shirt and over to the fo’c’sl already! ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/223 "2003-07-30T18:34:39Z")
Aye, Cap’n, making course 110 degrees from 180! **Tarrsk**'tis something every salt leans in due time once y’ve a few leagues under yer keel. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/224 "2003-07-30T18:36:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BuckleberryFerry \* > > **Kallessa** , me dear, if that ship what **Pilot tunabreath** found is the _Peark_, we may be finding a Will sooner than not. \*\* Even sooner if it’s the _Pearl_. ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/225 "2003-07-30T18:48:08Z")
**Tarsk** land lubbers have this hunt they send their young on, they send them for the ever evasive snipe. Look here and learn ye a bit: [salty terms](http://www.acronet.net/~robokopp/shanty/seadefin.html) Arrgh! Cap’n Ferry! We’ve been spotted! their course is set to 110 as well. This may turn to be a long chase be she a fast ship! Might as well we strike our colors? ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/226 "2003-07-30T19:03:35Z")
Nay, ye blind rapscallions, Cap’n seen right - that IS the _Peark_! The slowest, friendliest ship in these seas; captained by a kind, guileless, honest old gent, and sailed by a blessed crew. She makes her berth at the Island That Can Be Found with Great Ease. I know ‘er well, for verily was I one o’ 'er own lo these many years ago. Damn near bored the life outta me. I say we run fer our lives, and our sanity! ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/227 "2003-07-30T19:08:26Z")
From the site **tunabreath** suggested: > [@](#): > > **Freezing the Balls off a Brass Monkey** - A brass monkey is a brass triangle which is put on the ground and used to keep cannonballs in a neat pile or pyramid beside a gun. When the weather gets very cold the brass triangle contracts more than the iron and causes the cannonballs to roll off, hence the saying. I wonder how cold it would have to be to freeze the balls off a zombie robot ninja monkey? ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/228 "2003-07-30T19:19:49Z")
Begin yer forgiveness Cap, I’s thinkin these words may rally the crew. 'Tis a bit of a ditty called “The Pirate Song” So forgive me my rough mood unaccustomed to sue; I woo not, perhaps, as your landlubbers do. My voice is attuned to the sound of the gun That startles the deep when the combat’s begun. The Frenchman and Don will flee from our path, and the Englishmen cower below at our wrath, And our sails shall be gilt in the gold of the day, And the sea robins sing as we roll on our way. Cap’n? Me thinks we should be wary of **Kn(splittongue)ckers**. May’t be the Peark or not but I heard she’s run by a tricky foul demon. May’t be friends of the **Kn(can’tbetrusted)ckers**? Could the beastie be playing lame duck? I sees no colours on her! Be it time for the hoisting of the Jolly Roger? Where’s me sabre? ---
**Author:** ![ace22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@ace22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ace22)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/229 "2003-07-30T19:31:50Z")
Aye, hoist the colors and man the guns says I, cap’n! Whoever they be, they be up to no good, I wager. Let’s us teach them white-livered squids to fear the name of Cap’n Buckleberryferry and the mighty Ted, yarrrrrr! ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/230 "2003-07-30T20:02:58Z")
After a quick check of [Snopes’ report on the term “Brass Monkey,”](http://www.snopes.com/language/stories/brass.htm)… Arr! Time to start haulin’ shot up to the guns! By yer command, Cap’n? Haul up the shot! Haul up the powder! Set for hull strikes! Aah… do we want to hurt the ship, sink 'er, or take 'er? Who be chasing who? ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/231 "2003-07-30T20:14:08Z")
All right, men (and ladies what be willin’), hoist the Jolly Roger and ready the guns, but hold yer fire. First, we see what they be up to, and if **Kn(She be showin’ more loyalty to the _Peark_ than the _Ted_)ckers** be leadin’ us astray. If she be doin’ such, we leave ‘er on the ship and take what plunder we can, leavin’ minimal damage. If she not be…we leave ‘er on the ship and take what plunder we can, leavin’ minimal damage. If it be the _Pearl_, hold yer fire and stay aboard the _Ted_ whilst I have a bit of a chat with Cap’n Jack. Well, get to! ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/232 "2003-07-30T20:41:29Z")
Can we take captives as well? The Captive Pirate Princess could use a couple of Captive Handsome Hunks. I’d share. ---
**Author:** ![ace22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@ace22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ace22)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/233 "2003-07-30T21:52:24Z")
Yarr, be we gainin’ on this here _Peark_/_Pearl_? ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/234 "2003-07-31T00:32:23Z")
Aye lad we be gainin’. That’s the rub! Just as the trouble maker **Kn(fartingdog)ckers** cerebrally premasticated. Troubles me it does. Dastardly manuverz I do fear be ahead. I shouldn’t be surprised to see her turn about and bring guns to bare. Where’s **Wang-Ka**? Blast ye lad, whot colors she be raised? Action on her decks? Someone get the fool down and keep ‘im from the rum! Where’s the leadership on this cork called **Ted**? We be in bad need o’ some eyes up there to plan our tactics! **Mr. Ellis**? Whot say ye? How long till firing range? I needs to know so’s I can come about to present broadsides? I be wonderin’. When’s the last time we pulled up **Mr. Mastema** from his last barnacle check? This tub’s a handlin poorly. **Scuba Ben**? Ye and yer mates ready? And **Robert** ye be a fairy lookin’ lad but ye does good work. How’s yer oyes? See thee well does ye? Orders Cap’n? ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/235 "2003-07-31T01:31:19Z")
What be goin on?? Are we boarding this vessel? Me cutlass could use the exercise. Otherwise, I’ll jsut go back to me drinkin contest with the Quartermaster… ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/236 "2003-07-31T12:51:00Z")
For’ard pair of long nines ready SAH! (Powder - ram - shot - ram - fuse - set. Lather, rinse, repeat.) For’ard guns ready SAH! Now whar’s me hearties, me fellow gunners? Is there a plan? Are we gonna trade broadsides wi’ that raft? Do we wait for 'er to wheel about on us, or are we gonna cross 'er T? ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/237 "2003-07-31T15:15:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kallessa \* > \*\*Can we take captives as well? The Captive Pirate Princess could use a couple of Captive Handsome Hunks. > \*\* Aye. Though I be but a mere maid, it be lonely havin’ to be all by me onesies. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/238 "2003-07-31T15:17:11Z")
_chortling wickedly_ [sub]Harrr, well’d I know I’d not be heeded on telling ‘em to turn tail. Now, we match wits and guns wi’ thar fair ship, and blast me old mates t’ smithereens. Or they blast the _Ted_ the same… makes no difference t’ me, bein’ cursed and all; either way, the melee’ll be perfect fer me to commandeer (nautical term) the one ship or t’other! I hope this 'ere crew of fools didn’t hear me narsty mumblings… [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/239 "2003-07-31T16:42:02Z")
**Scuba\_Ben** , fire a warning shot and see what they do; I will take no lives unnecessarily–and neither will any o’ ye. If they show hositilties, we open fire in full and hold nothin’ back. If they reply peacefully, we demand to see the Captain and I’ll be promisin’ not to kill a soul aboard if they hand over their booty. 'Course I am not Captain Jack and not a (wo)man of me word, and once we’ve got the booty…ye boys can have some fun. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/240 "2003-07-31T17:51:39Z")
Warning shot, aye SAH! :: pulls out Palm Pilot, crunches numbers :: Range… 9lb. round… our course… their course… lead the target… wind… Helm, one point to lar’board if you please! Long nine ready… set angle… Now _this_ is the part I _really_ like. 😃 FIRE! 1… 2… BOOM! SPLASH! (Swab - dry - powder - ram - shot - ram - fuse - set!) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997.md?page=13)