# Captain Buckleberryferry and the crew of "The Ted" -sign up here- **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997 "2003-07-26T00:43:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/241 "2003-07-31T17:56:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by arisu \* > \*\*What be goin on?? > > Are we boarding this vessel? > > Me cutlass could use the exercise. > > Otherwise, I’ll jsut go back to me drinkin contest with the Quartermaster… \*\* Oho, so it’s a -contest- now, is it? 😃 and my cutlass could use a little exercise, too… ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/242 "2003-07-31T18:00:16Z")
Whar be our lookout? How do they respond? ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/243 "2003-07-31T18:23:02Z")
Aye! One point Starboard! Steady, sir! ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/244 "2003-07-31T18:26:18Z")
All right, men, OPEN FIRE!! ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/245 "2003-07-31T18:35:43Z")
er, port me means, my one drunken eye misread yer directions Crossen the T or a broadsids Cap’n? ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/246 "2003-07-31T19:22:19Z")
Open fire, aye SAH! Helm, one point to starboard, if you please. :: **tunabreath** turns the wheel one handle to the right :: :: _SDS Tom_ swings to the left :: Firing for’ard guns, SAH! ssssssssss BOOM! BOOM! SPLASH! SPLASH! SAH! We still be at extreme range, the thirty-eights cahn’t reach thaht bleedin’ raft. Shall I keep tryin’ with the long nines? :: Gunners reload the nine-pounder guns :: ---
**Author:** ![Peg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Peg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peg)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/247 "2003-07-31T20:30:31Z")
Such excitment! In tense times like this, I… cook! Feast after the plunderin’! ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/248 "2003-07-31T21:15:10Z")
Hey! What’s all this racket going on? It’s disturbed my nap! Holy cow, these guys were _serious_ about pirating! Think I’ll go hide below for a while. No, wait; that’s the first place to get wet if we sink. Crow’s nest for me! DD ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/249 "2003-08-01T01:36:32Z")
Is it time for the feast yet? Shiver me timbers, avast and ahoy, yarr. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/250 "2003-08-01T01:51:23Z")
Broasides, men! Are we in range of anything? CAN’T YOU PEOPLE TELL ME IF I’M WRONG?!?! **Scuba\_ben** , do what ye must; it’s as them Caribbean pirates say: Take all ye can, give nothin’ back. Or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/251 "2003-08-01T01:57:11Z")
Begg’n yer pardon, Cap’n sir ma’am… the lookout appears to have fallen overboard. So, late eve’n before last, I jumped into the water to save the lad, 'aving tied a long rope around me waist before I did so’s I could pull us both back up to safety on _The Ted_. Yeay, though I tied me a goodly knot (it being me own well being I was concerned with), just as I came up from me dive, I glanced up to _The Ted_ and saw **Kn(scurvydogofabadgirlsheis)ckers** untyin’ me rope from the ship and throw’n it into the water. Well, I found the silly lookout, floating face up on an empty barrel of rum and managed to keep him from fall’n, off and drownin’ and watched as our fine ship sailed away. Well, a fine and beautiful night it was, Cap’n sir ma’am, and I wasn’t fear’n drownin’ meself since we had the empty barrel you see. Though I did begin to wonder about when and where I might be see’n a ship or even land again. Fortunately, this morning I found me a fine pair of giant sea 'orses and made a right fine job of lasso’n them and having them pull me (and the lookout) on a pair of skis I made from said barrel right back 'ere to our lovely ship and climbed back aboard (with the lookout) from astern. The lookout still be passed out, by the way. Why we be about to board the _Peark/Pearl_? Jack get on yer nerves maybe? ---
**Author:** ![lindarielle13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3bc359/32.png) [@lindarielle13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindarielle13)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/252 "2003-08-01T02:07:58Z")
**Scuba\_Ben** have ye enough cannon balls and shot? Everyone ‘ave all the apples, rum, or anythin’ else they be needin’ to get ‘em through this fight? **Peg** , anything I can be gettin’ ye for that feast? Anyone be needin’ anythin’ just give a shout. And **tunabreath** , thankee. It be nice to know my work be appreciated. And my eyes work fairly fine, since ye asked. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/253 "2003-08-01T02:27:56Z")
Arr. There be plenty o’ cannons and shot both, sah. I’ll just be over h’yer if ye needs me. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/254 "2003-08-01T02:29:17Z")
**First Mate NoClue** , while ye diddna stick to the code, yer a good man. Thankee for yer doin’s. Get the lookout to the doctor and lend a hand where ye can. **Pilot tunabreath** , how far from this vessel be we? See ye her name, her crew? Be it the _Pearl_? Jack be mightily on me nerves, and is quite unlucky that I found me another ship. He bloody sank mine. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/255 "2003-08-01T05:17:00Z")
Arr, I can make out the name… It be… _Poseidon?_ What in thunder? ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/256 "2003-08-01T05:54:06Z")
\*There’s got to a morning after . . . \* ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/257 "2003-08-01T05:55:39Z")
_There’s got to be a morning after . . ._ ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/258 "2003-08-01T06:32:58Z")
For God’s sake Cap’n, open fire! I hates that hellish song! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/259 "2003-08-01T11:45:13Z")
Capn? Cargomaster **Bosda** beggin’ ta report. There’s a mistake in the manifest, sar. 10 live rabbits for Beiruit, Lebanon? No sir. 10 live rabbits for _Beyruth, Austria_, sar. Only, now we got 40 rabbits, sar. Them little buggers sure do like each other, sar. Can we take a detour up the Danube, sar? ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2003, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/260 "2003-08-01T13:05:13Z")
We’re close enough to read that raft’s name? Great! They’re in range fer shahr! 🙂 Helm, hard over and umask the broadsides! :: _SDS Tom_ turns hard to the left, gunners man the starboard guns :: Firing broadsides, SAH! Me hearties, let’s give 'em what-for! sssssssssssssssss BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! WHAM!! SPLASH! BAM! Reload, set for deck strikes, keep two for hull strikes, then man the port guns. Helm, hard over tah LAR’board if yah please, and tack back the other way! Steady, me hearties, we’ll slow her down, then take her. We don’t want to sink that raft yet. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997.md?page=14)