# Captain Buckleberryferry and the crew of "The Ted" -sign up here- **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997 "2003-07-26T00:43:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/301 "2003-08-04T17:16:20Z")
All right, men, gather the survivors and throw 'em in the brig. Ready the long nines for anythin’ what might come. Are we rid o’ the bunnies yet? Save 'em for human foes; this 'ere monstar might only be fed by ‘em, and we don’t want ‘im gettin’ the taste o’ blood. Whar be **Kn(I hope we left 'er under the _Poseidon_)ckers**? Yer all to keep a sharp eye on 'er–she puts one toe outta line, yer to tie 'er to the mast away up high and tell me later. **Pilot tunabreath** , the farst thing we be doin’ upon makin’ bearth this next time is gettin’ ye a new eye, or a’least roundin’ out that thar diamond ye’ve got. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/302 "2003-08-04T17:30:25Z")
[sub]Oi, ye sea monster below thar - Ye hear me, ‘tis sure, what wi’ them great floppy ears o’ yourn. Seein’ as me bunnies ‘ave all been shot away, and me mates ‘board the _Ted_ be returnin’ wi’ plunder a-plenty and ne’er a kind glance my way, p’raps meself and ye could come to an accord? Wot say ye, great soggy beast? A fearsome first mate ye’d be, too, once I’m in command o’ this fair vessel!\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/303 "2003-08-04T17:33:15Z")
Arrr, I wishes I’d said that a bit more quietly… ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/304 "2003-08-04T22:10:50Z")
Thankye Cap’n fer beein’ thinkin’ about me ‘n me oye. If it be possible to be roundin’ ‘t out I thinks I’d much be liking that better. Whot with it and me demon bunny foots ‘round me neck I do be a fearsome sight! E’en scared meself whenst I happened a glance at me own reflection. I’ll just have to keep that’n closed when I be in the water, sharks an’ oll. Problem is it looks the same to me out the port side o’ me head whith oye shut or not bein’s as there be no seein oye ‘tall that side. Oh, an Cap’n? Not to be alarmin’ ye but **Kn(whot she be up too now besides no good?)ckers** be throwin’ these curiosly lookin like bone shaped biscutz o’er the side an’ makin’ no sense whotever but bein’ loud about it. Did she get bumped on ‘er noggin real hard in the fray? P’raps we been hard on the lass, whot say we gives ‘er somethin’? Washerwoman **Liser-go-Blind** I’ll not be needi’n yer services I did rub me cloze vigorously whilst in the brine and the slight infestation o’ sea monkeys will be a thing o’ the past onse I dries out for a while. Speakin’ o’ dryen out! Cap! Whot says you to puttin’ me rum to good use an’ resumin’ course by settin sails to Jamaica? **arisu**? Matey, whots our numbers where be we now? ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/305 "2003-08-04T23:54:04Z")
[sub] 465…466…467… That bedamned zombie monkey won’t be findin THIS hoard… should’ve loaded 'im into the cannons when I 'ad the chance…[/sub] Resuming course for Jamaica are we? Lesee 'ere… Well, this _Poseidon_ adventure seems to 'ave knocked us a wee bit off… but make an adjustment about 12 degrees east, an we should be headin in to Port Royal afore dinner tomorrow… ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/306 "2003-08-05T00:16:45Z")
Aye **arisu** welves degrees east. We be makin’ 98 degrees now from 110. Bein East sou’eastish. Beggin’ Cap’ns parden, a quenchin o’ the thirst be had? I’ve a salty dry throat has I. I be thinkun’ to loosen me toungue w’ the fair Captive Pirate Princess **Kalessa** be she so minded. Whot wit me new shiney oye. I fancyees m’self a handsome silver tongued scoundrel o’ the higest order I does. Not every raider haven the oye I has I says, says I. Whar be **Tikki** our brainy yet sexy barmaid? Ha’ the qwatrm’ster be afouled in 'is rummin contest? ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/307 "2003-08-05T00:31:50Z")
Yes, where be **Arrrmatey**?? he didn’y fall behind did 'e? ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/308 "2003-08-05T01:30:16Z")
A’right, men, take part in a bit o’ celebratory rum a’fore we head to Port Royal. But be sure thar’s enough to last! An’ the only thing we be givin’ **Kn(she ain’t hit her head none)ckers** be a turnin’ over to the Navy a-when we board. ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/309 "2003-08-06T00:29:55Z")
Cap’n I’s be proud t be sail’t wit ye. I sees water at me feet a nay a man at the pumps. ‘T’would a been nice t not have an oye whot not cuts but is round’d. I fears the dog whot eats R lot not a bit! Sabres an’ cutlassez! Ahoy! No onez be taken the **Ted** but our choosen the briney deep. been a merry cruze lads an’ lass’s. **Set’s free the Bunnies!** Be they a demon fer t’ be remember’d. ---
**Author:** ![Plankspanker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Plankspanker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plankspanker)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/310 "2003-08-06T00:58:31Z")
Arrgh, Cap’n **BuckleBerry** , i’ll join yer fine crew if that be pleasin to ya. i can be in charge of the plank, if you so wish Cap’n… ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/311 "2003-08-06T01:31:34Z")
Welcome aboard, **Plankspanker**! **Pilot tunabreath** , be ye leavin’ me? Yer post be soundin’ a bit final, thar. Do consider a place on our sail to Tortuga when we be finished in Port Royal. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/312 "2003-08-06T03:15:59Z")
Ahhh… ‘Tis a fine night for sailin’… S’more rum, m’lady Captain? The quarter moon is just light enough to fill your eyes with a lovely glow… How fair is your skin e’en tho slightly burnished by the sun and spray… Your lips… so soft… so inviting… [kiss] :eek: Beggin’ the Cap’n’s pardon, m’lady Sir Cap’n Ma’am! I know not what came over me. The rum, the sea, your beauty… [kneels before you, fair Captain lovely woman] I offer my apologies for overstepping my place. I will submit to whatever punishment ye may see fit. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/313 "2003-08-06T04:24:40Z")
It sounds pretty quiet down there. I guess it’s safe to come down. Hey! Wasn’t that great? Huzzah for the crew of the _Ted_. Do I get a fish? DD ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/314 "2003-08-06T06:59:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*[checking script] > > Yarrr! Cap’n Sir Ma’am. We should be able to cut trough the _Poseidon_’s hull at it’s thinnest point. > > \*\* Arr, then I calls the survivor what looks like Pamela Sue Martin. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*[sub]It sounds pretty quiet down there. I guess it’s safe to come down. [/sub] > > Hey! Wasn’t that great? Huzzah for the crew of the Ted. > > [sub]Do I get a fish?[/sub]\*\* Not so fast there. Ye gets no fish if ye don’t have the tongue, and ye doesn’t sound like no pirate to me, ya scurvy swab! [sub]I’ll be cravin’ yer pardon should I be speakin’ out o’ turn.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/315 "2003-08-06T10:28:21Z")
Nay Cap’n, ‘tis a fair ship and a brave crew whot be on ‘er. It been lookin like she be neglected on the matter o’ the bilges, they be fillin’ an no one be mannin’ the pumps is oll. She be low in the water and makin’ little headway. Mebbe the crew’s asleep whot with oll the plundrin an’ rummin. P’raps the **Plankspanker** could do it fer us? It looks like we’s a squall near th’ ‘orizon an’ it be comin’ our way, we don’t wan’t our decks awash carryin’ this bountiful booty. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/316 "2003-08-06T17:49:59Z")
**FirstMate NoClue** , ye be a fine shipmate. That’s why it hurts me so to relieve ye of yer pistol and cutlass. Now go pump the bilges what be leakin’ and do it right quick. **Pilot tunabreath** , it’s good to see ye still aboard. ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/317 "2003-08-06T21:57:55Z")
No need t’ be a freetin’, takes a lot more ‘n wet feet fer me ter be castin’ off. Mr **NoClueBoy** doin’ a fine job Cap’n. Judjin’ by the letter he done scattered I thinks the workout’ll do 'im good. I 'spects his 'eads the one at’ll be payin dearly though, once ‘e wakes ‘at is. He’ll be good fer not much tomorry. May be that we be taken percautions an’ taken care to be lashin’ down whot be loose Skipper, that squall be dark and still movin our way. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/318 "2003-08-06T22:08:17Z")
Arrr. Drop canvas and prepare for the starm what be comin’ this way. All ‘ands on deck. Anythin’ what can fall over, ye’ll be tyin’ down. How far be we from Port Royal? ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/319 "2003-08-06T22:50:52Z")
**arisu**? Ha’ ye the sextant? Position lad! Whar we be? Me dead reckonnin’ oye , whot be dead also, say’s we only be a day or so to fine rum, good smoke an’ byuutyful brown skinned lasses. Prolly I should be leavin’ that oye hiddn aboard once it be rounded out a tad, hid in a good spot I say, say’s I. This squall be picckin up the seas, I fears a mean blow I does, sees any o’ ya t’other soide? This be a large’n by the looks of it. ---
**Author:** ![ace22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@ace22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ace22)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/320 "2003-08-06T23:38:43Z")
yarr, what’ve I missed? Seems be that th’ Poseidon made a right hearty challenge to the TED! But we done done ‘em in, yarr, we done. A toast to sailor **tunabreath**! Yarr! Batten down them thar hatches! Lower the mainsail! Yarr, ‘tis a priviledge to be sailin’ with ye lot, but ye scurvy dogs need to be movin’! _whipsnap_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997.md?page=17)