# Captain Buckleberryferry and the crew of "The Ted" -sign up here- **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997 "2003-07-26T00:43:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/321 "2003-08-07T01:24:15Z")
I’s ‘preshiatin’ yer spirit Mr **ace22** but I’s be’en thinkin the lads be so rum weary the lash be a feather. Be it best t’ be remindein’ em whots they got an’ whot’s they gots not? This squall be not fer whips! Many a man chose the briney fer instead whots ‘head. ‘nDeed many’s prefered! I still says, one oye mind ye, this starm this ev’nin be mor’n jus’ a a squall! Skipper! If be this no natures storm be, who call’t it? Be we fearin the nameless Jack ye speaks? Cap?! **NoClueBoy** did just run crosst the deck. But **Liser-go-Blind** be not haven his wash. Poor fellow, whot an embarassment, whar be his rags? Where be **KN(whotisitnow)ckers**? May’s I bare a pistol? Not to be presumptious but I’d like me bunk safe wit me Port oye gone an’ me starboard t’ make sures the mutinous **Kn(she got a couple a points me loiks but I be’s beware)ckers** be scoudrellin? ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/322 "2003-08-07T01:41:24Z")
**MS ace22** , get these scabb’r’us dogs to work! Get us prepared for that thar storm what be comin’ our way. And **TAaN arisu ftSP** , what sort of delay can we be ‘spectin’ from this storm? ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/323 "2003-08-07T04:18:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > **Not so fast there. Ye gets no fish if ye don’t have the tongue, and ye doesn’t sound like no pirate to me, ya scurvy swab!** Of course I don’t sound like a pirate! I’m the _cat_ for crying out loud. You want sommat sounds like a pirate, get a parrot. And watch the rats pile up. Ya thought the _bunnies_ were bad? DD ---
**Author:** ![lindarielle13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3bc359/32.png) [@lindarielle13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindarielle13)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/324 "2003-08-07T05:31:50Z")
Ay ay, Cap’n. Low’rin’ the sail and battenin’ down the ‘atches and all else. That there storm looks to be a right nasty one, e’en to my eye which be none too experienced at readin’ the sky. But Cap’n, looks like we be runnin’ short o’ rope. That damned monkey must’ve stolen it. I’ll 'ave 'is guts for garter belts, I will, the furry little scoundrel! ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/325 "2003-08-07T06:12:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DesertDog \* > \*\*Of course I don’t sound like a pirate! I’m the _cat_ for crying out loud. You want sommat sounds like a pirate, get a parrot. > > And watch the rats pile up. Ya thought the _bunnies_ were bad? > > DD \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/326 "2003-08-07T06:14:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DesertDog \* > \*\*Of course I don’t sound like a pirate! I’m the _cat_ for crying out loud. You want sommat sounds like a pirate, get a parrot. > > And watch the rats pile up. Ya thought the _bunnies_ were bad? > > DD \*\* Ye be the cat, eh? Then how did ye come to be called **Desert_Dog_** ya scurvy swab? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/327 "2003-08-07T13:29:32Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > Then how did ye come to be called \*\*Desert_Dog\*\*\* ya scurvy swab? 'E’s a very ugly cat. The bilge is cleared, Cap’n, and the ballast is centered. I found the monkey’s rope stash, too. Seems soon as 'e found out it be made of hemp, 'e got rather a fetish about it, don’t ya know. See how tall that storm must be? We caught sight of it hours ago and still no change in the wind here. When we do finally get overtook, it’s going to be a battle. Now would be a good time to be undead. ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/328 "2003-08-07T13:54:04Z")
The starm be nigh ‘pon us now, this be one tempest it be! I know not whot ye be thinkin **NoClueBoy** sar, it be a gale up here! E’en the whitecaps be ‘aven’ whitecaps. These seas whot were calm just mere minutes ago be built to a four feet chop they be, four feet bein’ nothin to the **Ted** , but’ I’ll not be surprised if in no times ‘t all we be seein’ seas a might bit bigger. Big enough to toss this ‘ere ship like a cork in a babes tub. We best be hopin’ ta see t’other soide o’ this ‘ere starm soon. Remembers I whot me jailer whot raised me said: Red skois at night sailors deloit’ Red skois at mornin sailors takes a warnin’ or was it feed a cold and starves a fever? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/329 "2003-08-07T14:45:43Z")
Yarr!!! _NOW_ the wind’s be achangin’! And blow’n mighty hard, too! Captain! Shall we be deploy’n our [sea anchor](http://www.seaanchor.com/seaanchor.htm)? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Marko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@El\_Marko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Marko)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/330 "2003-08-07T16:36:30Z")
Yarr!! _belllch!_ _stumbles up the stairs from below decks_ Me humblesht appologiesh Cap’n sir, ma’am. It sheemsh oi took a bit much ale in port and wot with the free flowin’ rum when oi came aboard, oi lost me 'ead til now. _looks 'round the decks_ Seems yer needin’ a new lookout. Oi saw the skurvy fella wot got fished out o’ the drink earlier down below with the good doctor. ‘e’s not likely to be up ‘n’ about any time soon. Oi’m yer man, oi am. Oi may likes a drink er two off duty, but oi never touch the stuff while oi’s in the riggin’. Wot say you Cap’n Ferry sir, ma’m? Up to the crow’s nest is it? You’ll be needin’ someone up there when that thar storm hits us, make no mistake. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/331 "2003-08-07T17:58:43Z")
Aye, **El Marko** , up in the riggin’ ye get. Keep a shrp eye, and only dome down iff’n ye can’t hol’ through the storm. **First Mate NoClue** , take all precautions necessary to keep us afloat! Anyone what has nothin’ to do, either find somethin’ to do or get below decks. This be a rough one, says I. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/332 "2003-08-07T21:55:14Z")
Arrr Capn! Here be thot giant Japanese monster! And, she’s not so bad! [LINK TO THE MONSTER](http://www.neomonsterisland.com/kaijugirls/gina/gina_beach.jpg)😃 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/333 "2003-08-08T06:39:25Z")
We arrrren’t ignore’n ye. Jest a wee bit preoccupied, what with the storm,the sharks, the ghost ship, and the Japanese monster and all, don’t ya know. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/334 "2003-08-08T17:01:04Z")
Well, get unpreoccupied. Ye want to be tossed overboard? Get to. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/335 "2003-08-08T17:23:50Z")
That’s whot I’m meanin’, Cap’n Sir Ma’am. I am preoccupied with my duties durin’ the storm. What with have’n to make sure the bow stays in the wind (thank the Pheonecians for inventing the sea anchor), and keeping the sails from unfurlin’ in the high winds (thanks to ye mates up on the riggin’), I kin barely find the time to put two or three words t’gether in a row, don’t ya know. Feels odd in this eye of t’ storm, now doesn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/336 "2003-08-08T17:23:52Z")
Cap’n, these seas ‘pears to seelin’ a might, still be a gale but I thinks Port Royal still be only a day or so away. 'Twas and is a nasty blow but the **Ted** be up to it. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/337 "2003-08-08T22:50:24Z")
How be we? This storm be lookin’ to end soon? ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/338 "2003-08-08T23:45:59Z")
\*Oh, can’t you see the morning after? It’s waiting right outside the storm Why don’t we cross the bridge together And find a place that’s safe and warm? There’s got to be a morning after We’re moving closer to the shore I know we’ll be there by tomorrow And we’ll escape the darkness We won’t be searching anymore\* Okay–who rescued Shelley Winters? ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/339 "2003-08-08T23:46:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > **’E’s a very ugly cat.** ::Jots down note to find **NoClueBoy** ’s hammock, sit on his face, and suffocate him later tonight while he sleeps.:: DD ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/340 "2003-08-09T03:50:11Z")
Cpa’n t’ weather be nothin’ t’ be guesn at as ye knows well, just be these seas may’t be to our favor indeed. Whot says ye oll to a wee bit o’ not so bad luck? I’m not be seein the ghastly glow o’ the dreaded **Dogzilla** and the compas be spinnin’ no more. I thinks we can set 110 an onward bound! Shelly Winters hast floatation devices she does. No one bein’t need’n ta save 'er. She wash’t aboard she did. Cap? Mights’t we have a speacial place in tha brig for them whos be singin o’ ta mornin after? A blood curdlin curs’ed wail that it be an oll. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997.md?page=18)