# Captain Buckleberryferry and the crew of "The Ted" -sign up here- **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997 "2003-07-26T00:43:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![Angel\_Heart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Angel\_Heart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_Heart)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/381 "2003-08-17T04:30:01Z")
'Aye aye, 'capn. I can make boiled dinner, fish chowder, corn chowder, salt pork chowder, pork and beans with rice—anything that can be fixed in a kettle. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_Heart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@Angel\_Heart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_Heart)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/382 "2003-08-17T04:43:08Z")
'Aye aye, 'capn. I can make boiled dinner, fish chowder, corn chowder, salt pork chowder, pork and beans with rice—anything that can be fixed in a kettle. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/383 "2003-08-17T17:53:26Z")
Cap’n sir! There be a French ship in sight off t’port bow! ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/384 "2003-08-18T00:15:17Z")
Sorry Cap. I be’s a pirate but I knows whot no means. She said she be sweet on hippo girl an’ ‘twas ol it took fer me. Cap? A dilema we be havin’ here. The bountiful booty o’ the behemoth Galleon (whot may hold dubloons!) Or yon Frenchie whot may be holdin Champagne and potatoes fried fancy loik. Dubloons can buy wine and potatoes, Champagne can gets dubloons and more in barter’n. Me coarse still be 110 and nigh 'pon the o’er Spaniard. Whot be yer orders? Stay tight on coarse or to port 25 for the blue, white and red? ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/385 "2003-08-18T00:27:45Z")
Boiled? BOILED?! Ye stay ‘ways from me fresh catch ‘til ye’s learnt the ways o’ usin’ a fire in proper fashion. boilt Boiled be fine fer the briney stores from th’ larder. boilt. Ye must learn ‘fore mutinous chatter be mumblet ‘board th’ fine **Ted**! This ship been known t’ make landfall a toim r two. "at’s ‘ow’s the loiks o me come aboard, ‘twas on th’ Oile o’ Gilligan from whence comes me ‘n me oye. (an’ me prodijus 'mount o rum!) ---
**Author:** ![ace22](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@ace22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ace22)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/386 "2003-08-18T02:24:15Z")
Yarr, what be yer orders cap’n sir ma’am? The helpless frigate, or th’ french ship? Oi sooner be plundrin’ that Spanish ship whot we seen first, says me. Or we scuttle that thar frigate so it be waitin’ for us when we come on back, cap’n. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Marko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@El\_Marko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Marko)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/387 "2003-08-18T12:10:47Z")
Cap’n! From me perch in th’ crow’s nest, Oi can tell ya true - we got plenty o’ toime to get that thar fat spaniard a’fore the frenchies be upon us. Now that oi’ve picked me up a proper parrot (every pirate should ‘ave one) off th’ last ship, oi’s in the mood for a bit a’ treasure. Dubloons and the like oi says! Jooles and gold buys champagne a’plenty in port, oi says! ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/388 "2003-08-18T17:55:07Z")
I think we be set with loot, men; keep on course for Port Royal. We fire only in defense, and not for gain. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/389 "2003-08-19T06:13:55Z")
Arr… maybe the cap’n be right. ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/390 "2003-08-19T15:52:20Z")
Coarse set, same’s before toward the fat Spaniard, Port Royal be on t’other side of ‘er. She got a good frifgt comin’ ‘pon ‘er she does! and a sigh o’ relief an’ disbelief as we passes 'er by. 110 degrees. ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/391 "2003-08-19T16:18:31Z")
Thankee, **Pilot tunabreath**. Who be the lookout? Be it ye, **Michael Ellis**? Keep a sharp eye and report anythin’ worth reportin’. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/392 "2003-08-19T17:10:06Z")
No champagne? \ Did I mention how fetchingly adorable a **Captive Pirate Princess** looks when she get teary-eyed? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/393 "2003-08-19T18:41:37Z")
Hey! Who you be callin’ fat? Oh! You said “Spaniard.” Must be meanin’ Jack, our little Spanish zombie pirate ninja monkey. Whar’d ‘e go off t’ anyhow…? stupid monkey ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/394 "2003-08-19T20:47:00Z")
I be meanin’ that galleon “ **Atocha** ” we’s jus’ passed whot be sluggish and low it th’ water. With th’ **Ted** s hold full we’re headin fer Port Royal. Keeps yer oyes pealt and be on the lookout fer land. Poor **Kallessa** , I’ll find ye some o the bubbly wine, me mission it’l be. ---
**Author:** ![Peg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b38774/32.png) [@Peg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peg)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/395 "2003-08-19T21:03:16Z")
_rolls bottles of bubbly toward **tunabreath** _ A cook’s gotta be good for somethin’ 'round these bits. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/396 "2003-08-19T21:13:22Z")
_dozes off… slips out of his perch in the rigging_ _THUD!!_ _dusts self off as crewfolk suspiciously surround him_ ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/397 "2003-08-19T21:17:43Z")
:eek: A Monstre! A right silly lookin’ one, though. Whot’s wit’ all the cookies? ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/398 "2003-08-19T21:18:43Z")
Who ye be and what be ye doin’ in the riggin’ in me ship? P’raps yer the reason we not be gainin’ much speed. Explain yerself. Ye may find me to be generous t’day. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/399 "2003-08-19T21:59:25Z")
_brushing cookie crumbs out of fur_ Er… pardon me, lads, but it this… er, I mean… Arrr! Be this the famed pirate ship “The Black Flyin’ Dutch… er… mouse”? _feels sword point pressed against monstre rearquarters_ _turns around to face redshirt crewman and snaps sword in half_ Yer should be careful wi’ that thing, ye could be puttin’ somebody’s eye out… > [@](#): > > Who ye be … I be the Monstre, o’ course! **BUT THERE ARE SOME WHO CALL ME…** Bob. > [@](#): > > what be ye doin’ in the riggin’ in me ship? Well… Napping. It be comfy up there! By the way, lassie, I be thinkin’ I still [owe ye a spankin’](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=3866439#post3866439). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/400 "2003-08-19T22:05:33Z")
**Mons** –er, **Bob** , ye can be head o’ security. Methinks ye’ll be top-notch. Ye be on the _Ted_, now, **Bob** , so act accordingly. And no spankin’. I’ll buy ye a pint when we berth. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997.md?page=21)