# Captain Buckleberryferry and the crew of "The Ted" -sign up here- **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997 "2003-07-26T00:43:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/121 "2003-07-28T13:33:22Z")
Ahoy, **Kn(keepyerpantaloonson)ckers**! We’ve had a rash of new comers signing on (which is odd since we seem to be in the middle of the sea nowhere near an island and haven’t seen another ship in 3 days!) As for being a murderous murderer, that is right fine. You’ll be fitting in fine. Be ye cursed? ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/122 "2003-07-28T14:55:52Z")
I wanna be Quartermaster. Or at least Bartender… ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/123 "2003-07-28T15:00:04Z")
Well, seein’ as I’ve whiled away the last twelve years on the bottom of the sea with a cannon tied to my bootstraps, I’d reckon I’m accurs’d! Oh, wait, that wasn’t me. Anyway, yea, I be cursed. I be a frightful, nightmarish vision, but only the fluorescent light shows me as I really am. I don’t suppose we’ll be havin’ much fluorescent light on this journey, though, so ye’ve no worries on that account. Oh, yeah, and I can’t feel the warmth of a woman’s touch. _shrug_ I’ll be below decks, plotting and scheming, if’n ye’ll need me. Kn(A dishonest Kn\*ckers you can trust to be dishonest…)ckers ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/124 "2003-07-28T15:44:28Z")
Yarr, I want the crew to know that last night’s episode of The History Channel’s “Conquest” was on _Pirate Weapons_. Any of ye swabbies that missed it should check yer local TV listings and catch the next repeat so ye don’t look like an arse next time we go a-plunderin’. ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/125 "2003-07-28T17:05:53Z")
Wang-Ka, sorry, quartermaster position has been filled by yours trully. Maybe you could be… Eighths master… Or something… ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/126 "2003-07-28T17:11:16Z")
**First Mate NoClue** , as soon as we find someone to haul this anchor up, we be on our way. **BYS barmaid Tikki** , it’s always good to have a bit of extra rope onhand–but don’t ye be givin’ it to no one we maroon. They’ve to find their own way out. Be ye needin’ any help with the rum while ye be makin’ rope? **Wang-Ka** is lookin’ for a bit of work. **Kallessa** , ye and **Tarrsk** best be careful where ye practice that thar swordplay; we’ve only so many eyepatches that aren’t in the wash. **Michael Ellis** , what be yer trade? What good can ye bring to _The Ted_? Answer a (wo)man, or be strapped to the hull! “Ye all remember **Bosda** , eh? Kill 'im.” **Kn(castaway)ckers**, where ye come from? Ye must have swum from some unseen island–have ye found the island that cannot be found? If ye have, give bearings to **TAaN arisu ftSP** and get us on our way. If not, ye be tied to the mast 'till we reach port, where ye be sold for a bit of bounty. Ye know, since ye can’t die and such. **Boatswain Dewey** , I thankee for the news. Now get these scurvy dogs to work. AND WHY AREN’T THE ANCHORS UP?! ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/127 "2003-07-28T17:26:31Z")
Ah, the island that can’t be found. Indeed, it can be found, if ye’ve a mind to look; for find it I did, though ‘twas hardly worth the findin’. And to be honest, ye’ve no need of a bearing, as we’re about to run aground on it this minute. Don’t feel poorly for not noticing; ‘tis a dreadful tiny little clump o’ land. Mind you, thar’s treasure buried here, but I don’t ‘spect ye’ll be interested in that, eh? Seein’ as the Spanish Main’s in the offing. T’aint much of a treasure anyway. Some Aztec gold is all. Some say it’s cursed, but I don’t mind about that, bein’ cursed meself and all. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/128 "2003-07-28T17:34:10Z")
We retrieved the anchors and have been at sail for 2 days now. Let me adjust yer eyepatch so it _doesn’t_ cover yer good eye. Tharr… I’ve taken care of **Bosda** and put our **Wang** up in the crow’s nest. Needed someone with a complete set of eyes, arms, legs, and voice as a lookout, you see… Now, wharr is me monkey? He’s been hoarding the rum. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/129 "2003-07-28T17:34:59Z")
Ye may be wondering how we’re going to run aground if the anchor’s not up yet. You might want to see to your anchor; seems not to be working as it should. No doubt it’s been chew’n to bits by the great sea monster of the hidden seas. He can eat a pirate ship of one gulp, so they say, if he only gets close enough. Kn(or else I don’t real carefully enough)ckers ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/130 "2003-07-28T17:40:19Z")
_…S…C…R…A…P…E… **WHUMP!** _ Cap’n **Ferry** , sir ma’am! We seem to be ashore this tropic isle. And LOOK! It’s Gilligan! Yarr… I hope they never invent TV and make a show about _him!_ ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/131 "2003-07-28T17:43:59Z")
I be the strange person found floating on a bit of debris in the middle of the ocean. Although I speak no english I am covered with tatoos so I am quickly accepted as part of the crew. I fight like the devil himself in hand to hand combat so watch it. **Zebra** you strange folks call me for all the markings all over my body. (of course in my language Zebra means captain) ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/132 "2003-07-28T17:56:37Z")
Anyone know what language this striped fella be speakin’? Can we get a translator? Thar’s someone supposed to be checkin’ the hull–that thar nearsighted fella. **First Mate NoClue** , get him to see if thar’s any damage from that lovely berthing. Who was supposed to be watchin’ for land? **Wang-Ka**! Ye’d best have an explanation for yerself, or ye be findin’ yerself in the long nines. ( **First Matce NoClue** , have we long nines?) ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/133 "2003-07-28T17:58:23Z")
Yarr! Glligan! This pirate has to go out for some ginger, iffin’ ye know what I mean…Har har! Yaaaar! There’s a line! ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/134 "2003-07-28T18:10:11Z")
[sub]Psst, **Zebra** About that name… Meaning “captain,” as ye say… That has the smell of mutiny. How d’ye feel about mutiny, mate? Just testing the waters, ye know… Why’dje gawp at me like as you don’t understand a word I’m saying?[/sub] 'Scuse me, I have to go plan a m- ahh… er - a _luau_. That’s it! A luau. Leis all around! Kn(That was close)ckers ---
**Author:** ![BuckleberryFerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5f9b8f/32.png) [@BuckleberryFerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuckleberryFerry)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/135 "2003-07-28T18:16:55Z")
**FIRST MATE NOCLUE** , wharrrr ye be?! I don’t trust this 'ere **Kn(I think he’s plannin’ a mutiny; we’d better get rid o’ 'im)ckers**. See that we give ‘im ‘is own little island–governor, nuthin’, ‘e be king o’ that speck o’ land. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/136 "2003-07-28T18:22:14Z")
**Kn\*ckers** (being that I’m the only person who could pronounce your name) Umm Bloo (click)! (Click CLICK) oooooo bluuu mfff (Click)? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/137 "2003-07-28T18:36:34Z")
Yarrr!! No more apples for ye, **Kn(nomoreapllesforher)ckers**! And… 50 lashes with a wet rope! Sharr, we be gott’n nines! Traded in our ol’ sevens for them, don’t ya know? ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/138 "2003-07-28T18:47:24Z")
Arrrr. No more apples and me only possible offer of assistance might as well ha’ been a threat, or possibly a remark on the weather. Bastids, the lot of ye. Aye, a wet rope. Thar be a nuther thing I can’t feel. So lash away! Kn(I knew this curse was good for something)ckers ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/139 "2003-07-28T19:03:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor \* > \*\*GUUNNNNEERRRR! > > LOAD CANNONS! > \*\* Avast! Ye be needin’ gunners? I’d like to be a gunner, along with me new hearty **Steelerphan** (see page 2). Me gots meself some references, too! Me used to be Powder-Monkey for another pirate band. That’d be the guy who runs powder and shot from the magazine up to the long 9s. Now meself looking for a better job on board, on me way up to head gunner. Hey, **lindarielle13** , git those cannonballs up to the guns! Oh, those ain’t cannonballs yer balancen’ on yer chest? _We load up the guns, of powder we stink, Drink up, me hearties, yo ho! If they fire first, we’re all in the drink, Drink up me hearties, yo ho! Yo ho, yo ho, it’s a pirate’s life for me!_ ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997/140 "2003-07-28T19:37:28Z")
Sorry… Was busy with Arisu. Now, cap’n, who be gettin’ apples and who not, then? And I think we’ve got some rum in the stores, too, that’s been untouched as of yet. Sure, it’s marked with the skull-and-bones, but that just makes it -PIRATE- rum, right? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-buckleberryferry-and-the-crew-of-the-ted-sign-up-here/190997.md?page=8)