# Captain Midnight is a Fat-Ass! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 6, 2010, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787 "2010-09-06T12:53:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/201 "2010-09-11T14:41:39Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I just skimmed down this last page and **THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE LINE EVER** : > > > [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > > > He’s so far in the closet he’s halfway to Cair Paravel. :preens: ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/202 "2010-09-11T15:55:29Z")
> [@BayouHazard](#): > > I think I’d qualify, because I curl ten-pound dumbbells and don’t like skirts or makeup much. No, that’s m **u** scular. > [@Miller](#): > > Maybe he meant [“macular,”](http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/macular) and has something against women with freckles. No, that’s not it, either. I can only assume it’s a portmanteau and he’s got something against beefy spotted women. OH SHIT IT’S HIS WORST FUCKING NIGHTMARE [mildly NSFW]: [spoiler][http://moonwarrior.com/female-muscle/2008/reds-theme-2-pose.html[/spoiler]](http://moonwarrior.com/female-muscle/2008/reds-theme-2-pose.html%5B/spoiler%5D) ---
**Author:** ![BayouHazard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BayouHazard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BayouHazard)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/203 "2010-09-11T18:47:39Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > > [@BayouHazard](#): > > > > I think I’d qualify, because I curl ten-pound dumbbells and don’t like skirts or makeup much. > > You’re assuming he meant “muscular.” Maybe he meant [“macular,”](http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/macular) and has something against women with freckles. I thought he meant muscular and masculine. If he does actually just dislike freckled women, then I guess I’m good after all. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/204 "2010-09-11T19:46:52Z")
> [@descamisado](#): > > Why not? He’s fat. He might bring pie. I like pie. I guess I could take the pie and THEN kick him out the door 😃 ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/205 "2010-09-11T22:48:21Z")
> [@BrightNShiny](#): > > > [@magellan01](#): > > > > Actually, you’re the one who posted the stupid. I merely asked to you try to explain it. To justify it. And you will go to any length to not answer. Which, I admit, is probably your best course of action. Hell, you’re not smart enough to ably defend a solid position, never mind one so based on emotion and bias as the one you but forth here. But please, continue to NOT answer the questions. The more posts that you offer simply not answering nor defending the position the YOU offered up, the better. Your non-answers are, as a totality, an answer in themselves. That’s what happens to those with big mouths and weak minds. So keep up yer yapping, punk. > > It’s really driving you crazy that I won’t play along with your game, isn’t it? Ha. Actually, it’s not. My goal was to reveal your post for the emotional, unprincipled piece of whiney bullshit that it was. (Which others have pointed out, as well.) One route to that destination is to have you attempt to defend your position, thus revealing the flagrant unprincipled idiocy of it. Another road that leads to the same place is to demonstrate how great your refusal is to explain and defend your own position, which you felt SO compelled to share to begin with. Like I said, it’s now evident you’ve evaluated your ability to champion your own OP without looking like a bigger shithead and have concluded that you’d go the route where you can eat least cling on to some notion of deniability, e.g., “well, IF I did try to defend it I could have.” Like I said earlier, I think you’re choosing the correct route. The only question at this point is do you refuse to defend your own position because: 1. the position you put forth was too emotional and asinine to defend rationally? 2. your position might be defensible, but you don’t have the tools to do it. 3. both of the above This is the box you’ve put yourself in, son. No matter what you do now it’s chuckles for me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/206 "2010-09-11T22:50:28Z")
_Puts a jester hat on magellan_ Dance, monkey boy, dance. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/207 "2010-09-12T00:26:01Z")
Well, what can you expect from a guy who thinks that Oasis is better than the Beatles? ---
**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/208 "2010-09-12T02:24:53Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Well, what can you expect from a guy who thinks that Oasis is better than the Beatles? But what if the Beatles were being raped or mugged or put in the hospital by a drunk-driving Oasis? What would he do then? ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2010, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/209 "2010-09-12T16:06:55Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I forgot to say, **DigitalC** , you need to lay off the [self-tanner.](http://www.nouilles.info/sdpix/62047.html) You’re heading into Jersey Shore levels, there. 🙂 Uh, i don’t self tan, I’m latino :P. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787.md?page=10)