# Captain Midnight is a Fat-Ass! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 6, 2010, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787 "2010-09-06T12:53:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![splankt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@splankt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splankt)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/61 "2010-09-06T22:58:32Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > He never explicitly said that. He doesn’t believe gays are born gay, but that doesn’t mean he believes gays have a choice. One does not neccessarily follow the other. You also didn’t thing Shagnasty had expressed anything negative toward gay people. The differences between what you believe people said and what they actually said are quite profound. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/62 "2010-09-06T23:01:40Z")
Incidentally, next time you’re tempted to spout about pride and why we do it, [here’s a reality check](http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/05/30/Moscow_Pride_Held_Without_Incident/). These people ricocheted all over town for hours before they managed to evade the police long enough to hold their parade. It was ten minutes long. That was a success. In previous years they’d had the shit beat out of them by skinheads, and then they, the marchers not the skinheads, were arrested, including parliamentarians from across Europe. The man who organized it was the Grand Marshal at this year’s Vancouver Pride and just because you can’t buy a clue about how many years and how many sacrifices it took to enjoy this right in some parts of the world, doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten it. I know this is inconceivable, but not everything minorities do is about entertaining you or pleasing your aesthetic tastes. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/63 "2010-09-06T23:09:46Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Incidentally, next time you’re tempted to spout about pride and why we do it, [here’s a reality check](http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/05/30/Moscow_Pride_Held_Without_Incident/). These people ricocheted all over town for hours before they managed to evade the police long enough to hold their parade. It was ten minutes long. That was a success. In previous years they’d had the shit beat out of them by skinheads, and then they, the marchers not the skinheads, were arrested, including parliamentarians from across Europe. > > The man who organized it was the Grand Marshal at this year’s Vancouver Pride and just because you can’t buy a clue about how many years and how many sacrifices it took to enjoy this right in some parts of the world, doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten it. > > I know this is inconceivable, but not everything minorities do is about entertaining you or pleasing your aesthetic tastes. I’m all for the cause, but do they have to be so…gay? ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/64 "2010-09-06T23:11:31Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > **CM** ’s being fat in public is the same gay public displays of affection It depends…does he have his shirt on, or are his moobs on full blown jiggalicious display? ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/65 "2010-09-06T23:26:33Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Most of the the gay males I have known really are pervs who must drink pure Spanish Fly instead of water. Drug issues are no better. They aren’t just another version of a regular domestic couple like they show on TV. Like I said, it sounds fun but no one should act confused about why AIDS spreads so rapidly among them. There is no big mystery there. It is the same thing with gay pride parades. I honestly don’t care which side someone likes their toast buttered on. There is responsible activism and then there is just plain bad taste and being gay doesn’t excuse anyone from the latter mortal sin. The trannies and the polys are no better. OK, you’re in Massachusetts somewhere. Have you seen Gay Pride in Boston? It’s a pretty family-friendly affair, IMHO. Yeah there’s a smattering of leather types, but mostly it’s various charities, gay-friendly churches, local politicians, school groups, and things of that nature. What bad taste are you talking about? I guarantee that Gay Pride in Boston is a more tasteful affair than Mardi Gras in New Orleans, but nobody blames _Girls Gone Wild_ videos on heterosexuality. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/66 "2010-09-06T23:35:05Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Incidentally, next time you’re tempted to spout about pride and why we do it, [here’s a reality check](http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/05/30/Moscow_Pride_Held_Without_Incident/). These people ricocheted all over town for hours before they managed to evade the police long enough to hold their parade. It was ten minutes long. That was a success. In previous years they’d had the shit beat out of them by skinheads, and then they, the marchers not the skinheads, were arrested, including parliamentarians from across Europe. > > The man who organized it was the Grand Marshal at this year’s Vancouver Pride and just because you can’t buy a clue about how many years and how many sacrifices it took to enjoy this right in some parts of the world, doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten it. > > I know this is inconceivable, but not everything minorities do is about entertaining you or pleasing your aesthetic tastes. God, **Matt** , can’t “you people” just be all gay AWAY from us straight, God-loving, law-abiding righteous citizens? I mean, we’ve heard _sooo much_ about you guys lately and you have _no idea_ how hard it is to just keep _hearing_ about things on the news! ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2010, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/67 "2010-09-06T23:35:49Z")
> [@splankt](#): > > > [@DSeid](#): > > > > Amazingly enough I can believe that _both_ of these people are jerks. Obviously there are plenty around. > > But you’re valiantly white-knighting one of these jerks. That, after all, is what we’ve been discussing. No, I am not “white knighting” anyone. I am merely stating that it’s a crappy Pitting that displays more asshatness than at least what he had linked to. > [@](#): > > … I don’t see why everyone else is obligated to politely decide that _his_ foibles are beyond criticism, rather than subjecting them to the same scrutiny that he applies to gay people. Again, “the same scrutiny” that he applied was stupid and wrong, but it did _not_ include words like “fag” or “queers” or wishing AIDS on him; but our jerk of an op did use words equal to that for the obese. **CM** ’s “foibles” are certainly open for criticism and Pitting. Calling him a “fat-ass” and wishing a heart attack upon him just doesn’t do that so well. > [@](#): > > I really do feel for someone who can’t understand normal human communications. I can’t help but imagine this affects you in your day-to-day life as well. It’s got to be difficult for you… And yet amazingly I have a very successful pediatrics practice which depends on my ability to communicate at all levels of understanding from babies to PhDs and everything in between. The ploy of stating that anyone who disagrees with you is a moron, who cannot understand things, or even read, is really very very silly. ---
**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/68 "2010-09-07T00:25:53Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Not at all. There is just a mixed message sometimes. Gay people aren’t one monolithic group of course but sometimes the media likes to present them as a direct equivalent of the quiet heterosexual down the street when it doesn’t always work that way. I have seen personally witnessed the things that are straight out of the Religious Right’s worst nightmare. Granted, I mostly hung out with them when I lived in New Orleans which has the cream of the crop on top but I have also seen it in San Francisco and Cape Cod. It gets hard to keep track of which stereotype people are supposed to believe sometimes. Some might say there shouldn’t be any stereotype at all because they are just people which gets my vote but then you wouldn’t be having gay pride parades and pink ribbon campaigns. The Onion article referenced above was spot on as usual. New Orleans? Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve been to Mardi Gras many times and seen tons of straight people flashing their breasts and waving their dicks around and puking on the sidewalks. New Orleans is the height of straight debauchery, and yet somehow it’s the gay people who are out of the Religious Right’s worst nightmare. You’re a fucking bigoted asshole. ---
**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/69 "2010-09-07T00:27:08Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > I don’t need you to try to defend my gay ass by insulting someone for his or her size, thanks, any more than I need people on my side who think it’s a victory for queer rights to call her “Man Coulter.” I don’t spend my time thinking about your gay ass. ---
**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/70 "2010-09-07T00:29:49Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > No, I am not “white knighting” anyone. I am merely stating that it’s a crappy Pitting that displays more asshatness than at least what he had linked to.Again, “the same scrutiny” that he applied was stupid and wrong, but it did _not_ include words like “fag” or “queers” or wishing AIDS on him; but our jerk of an op did use words equal to that for the obese. Whatever. This tactic of yours is a typical one used by bigots when they run around trying to demean and oppress a minority. Oh, yes, they’ll cry that the bigot was wrong, but of course, the minority is much, much worse, see? If assholes like **Captain Midnight** want to demean and insult me, then I’m going to retaliate back. You can take your fake handwringing and shove it up your ass. ---
**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/71 "2010-09-07T00:31:28Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > So, **BrightNShiny** , out of curiosity, what other things might cause you to have sympathy for **Captain Midnight** but revoke it due to his post? Victim of arson? Loss of a limb? Put in the hospital by a drunk driver? Having a loved one raped? Being mugged? Please, do fill me in. > > And, is there _anything_ that would cause you to have sympathy for **Captain Midnight** in spite of his oh-so-horrific post that hurt your widdle feewings so badwy? Oh, gee. One homobigot rushes in to defend another one. What a surprise. Just out of curiosity, is there anything that will cause you to stop being a drooling idiot? Ok, that’s the last one for a bit. I have to go prepare for work tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![splankt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@splankt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splankt)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/72 "2010-09-07T00:35:21Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > I am merely stating that it’s a crappy Pitting that displays more asshatness than at least what he had linked to. Because it’s one thing to tell gay people they need to stop being gay or at least conceal their faggotry from the rest of society. That’s nowhere near as bad as calling a fatty a fatty – even if it’s true. That’s beyond the pale. Saying bad things about gays is one thing, but lord help you if you criticize the fatasses that, apparently, populate the Straight Dope Message Board. > [@](#): > > And yet amazingly I have a very successful pediatrics practice which depends on my ability to communicate at all levels of understanding from babies to PhDs and everything in between. Ooh, bad form. Bragging about your personal successes because you can’t hold your own in a discussion – well, that just won’t do. No one here has any way to evaluate the truth of that claim. I might as well tell you that I won the Noble Prize for Fat Acceptance (I did, in 2006) to bolster my arguments and dispel the naysayers. I’m sorry about your personal failings, anyway. > [@](#): > > The ploy of stating that anyone who disagrees with you is a moron, who cannot understand things, or even read, is really very very silly. The fact that you fail to understand something as simple as what the post that started this thread stated is what makes you a moron. The fact that you simply can’t understand the juxtaposition between Capt. Midnight’s attitude towards his own fatness and his attitude towards other people who also differ from the societal norm, and the incongruity therein, is what makes you a moron. If, in fact, you are a pediatrician, well, I’m just reminded of that old joke about what you call the fellow that graduated last in his class from medical school. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/73 "2010-09-07T01:01:16Z")
> [@BrightNShiny](#): > > New Orleans? Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve been to Mardi Gras many times and seen tons of straight people flashing their breasts and waving their dicks around and puking on the sidewalks. New Orleans is the height of straight debauchery, and yet somehow it’s the gay people who are out of the Religious Right’s worst nightmare. You’re a fucking bigoted asshole. I didn’t really think of it that way. Damn, this one LSU cheerleader had a great rack and wasn’t afraid to show it off. She could make a Catholic priest pop a boner. Best parade spot ever. The sun could rise and set in the blink of a t-shirt. Wait, what were we talking about again? Oh, heterosexual people do stuff like that too sometimes. Agreed but that is frowned upon as well. ---
**Author:** ![splankt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@splankt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splankt)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/74 "2010-09-07T01:05:26Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I didn’t really think of it that way. Damn, this one LSU cheerleader had a great rack and wasn’t afraid to show it off. She could make a Catholic priest pop a boner. Best parade spot ever. The sun could rise and set in the blink of a t-shirt. Wait, what were we talking about again? Oh, heterosexual people do stuff like that too sometimes. Agreed but that is frowned upon as well. Just imagine those scattered few New Orleaneans, living in what is, essentially, the debauchery capital of North America, who have some moral problem with people engaging in debauched behavior in public. The sad, pathetic truth that I have discovered here is that some of them have deep moral problems with an atmosphere of hedonism, and yet just can’t manage to move to a city that isn’t drenched in sin. It’s hard for me to imagine what it must be like for someone to live their life so pathetically helpless. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/75 "2010-09-07T01:12:25Z")
I swear, anymore it seems like the word “fat” is second only to the n-word around here. > [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > And that he isn’t impressed with incessant promiscuity or vulgar displays of sexuality in public. That is only directed at the behavior of a segment of the gay population. Oh really? > [@](#): > > No, I don’t want to watch you kiss and hold hands in public. No, I don’t want my children seeing this shit or be indoctrinated by your “lifestyle”. Holding hands and kissing is now considered to be “incessant promiscuity and vulgar displays of sexuality”? :rolleyes: (I also LOVE the fact that **Shagnasty** was surprised by seeing homosexual flamboyance in _San Francisco_, of all places! Jesus Christ!) ---
**Author:** ![splankt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@splankt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splankt)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/76 "2010-09-07T01:15:21Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > No, I don’t want to watch you kiss and hold hands in public. No, I don’t want my children seeing this shit or be indoctrinated by your “lifestyle”. > > Holding hands and kissing is now considered to be “incessant promiscuity and vulgar displays of sexuality”? :rolleyes: Certainly. It’s disgusting. If you’re agreeing with such outrageous displays, it must mean that you’re a lesbian! (I’m assuming from your screen name that you’re a woman. Substitute “gay” if I’m wrong about that. :)) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/77 "2010-09-07T01:16:50Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > > > I’m not arguing that he’s right. I’m arguing that his personal failings are totally irrelevant. > > While you have a point, my impression is that the OP is Pitting **Ca[tain Midnight** not (as one might first presume) for his obesity, but rather \*for his hypocrisy. \* I think that’s the key point. This needs repeating… ---
**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/78 "2010-09-07T01:24:53Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > > [@Polycarp](#): > > > > While you have a point, my impression is that the OP is Pitting **Ca[tain Midnight** not (as one might first presume) for his obesity, but rather \*for his hypocrisy. \* I think that’s the key point. > > This needs repeating… Yes, it does. I don’t actually think that overweight people are generally bad or need to stay indoors. But if **Captain Midnight** is going to try and tell me that I shouldn’t kiss or hold hands in public, then he should be subjected to his own standards. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/79 "2010-09-07T01:25:15Z")
> [@splankt](#): > > > [@Shagnasty](#): > > > > I didn’t really think of it that way. Damn, this one LSU cheerleader had a great rack and wasn’t afraid to show it off. She could make a Catholic priest pop a boner. Best parade spot ever. The sun could rise and set in the blink of a t-shirt. Wait, what were we talking about again? Oh, heterosexual people do stuff like that too sometimes. Agreed but that is frowned upon as well. > > Just imagine those scattered few New Orleaneans, living in what is, essentially, the debauchery capital of North America, who have some moral problem with people engaging in debauched behavior in public. > > The sad, pathetic truth that I have discovered here is that some of them have deep moral problems with an atmosphere of hedonism, and yet just can’t manage to move to a city that isn’t drenched in sin. It’s hard for me to imagine what it must be like for someone to live their life so pathetically helpless. **splank** you haven’t been here that long and you can’t take everything so seriously. A lot of this writing on this board is stylized for effect and that is what makes it entertaining. I mean everything I write at some level for example but it is slanted to play up real opinions but I wouldn’t say in other contexts in the same words. Other posters do the same thing. It is supposed to be fun. ---
**Author:** ![splankt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@splankt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splankt)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/80 "2010-09-07T01:41:50Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > **splank** you haven’t been here that long and you can’t take everything so seriously. A lot of this writing on this board is stylized for effect and that is what makes it entertaining. I mean everything I write at some level for example but it is slanted to play up real opinions but I wouldn’t say in other contexts in the same words. Other posters do the same thing. It is supposed to be fun. I’m sorry you’re not better at expressing yourself with the written word. You should try to practice some; a facility with writing is useful in virtually any career. Anyway, I’m glad to hear you wouldn’t express these bizarre opinions in other contexts. It helps me feel a little better to assume that you’re probably not experiencing the consequences you would if you said the things you’re saying here in real life. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787.md?page=5)