# Captain Midnight is a Fat-Ass! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 6, 2010, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787 "2010-09-06T12:53:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/121 "2010-09-07T05:32:29Z")
OT: **Diosa** , where did you get the octopus necklace? That’s really cute. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/122 "2010-09-07T05:45:29Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > OT: **Diosa** , where did you get the octopus necklace? That’s really cute. Why, thank you. That’s actually why that picture was taken- specifically to show of the glorious octopus necklace. Oh, and to make my face look 15 lbs lighter, duh. Anyway, my friend works for a jewelery wholesaler, so she gets me whatever I want off their site 🙂 It’s [this one here on Amazon](http://www.amazon.com/Exclusive-ZAD-Octopus-Necklace-AMERICAN/dp/B003BXFMLA), though I didn’t pay that much. ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/123 "2010-09-07T06:32:18Z")
> [@BrightNShiny](#): > > > [@magellan01](#): > > > > So, **BrightNShiny** , out of curiosity, what other things might cause you to have sympathy for **Captain Midnight** but revoke it due to his post? Victim of arson? Loss of a limb? Put in the hospital by a drunk driver? Having a loved one raped? Being mugged? Please, do fill me in. > > > > And, is there _anything_ that would cause you to have sympathy for **Captain Midnight** in spite of his oh-so-horrific post that hurt your widdle feewings so badwy? > > Oh, gee. One homobigot rushes in to defend another one. What a surprise. Just out of curiosity, is there anything that will cause you to stop being a drooling idiot? > > Ok, that’s the last one for a bit. I have to go prepare for work tomorrow. This post of yours was quite unnecessary. really. You already demonstrated that you are a Grade A Dumbass. So, this was a bit redundant. Now, seeing that you really can’t comprehend why exactly your dumbassery has been so fabulously displayed, I’ll give you a hint (as others have already pointed out): **CM’s** stance on homosexuality should be criticized for whatever failing you feel it has. It has nothing to do with his weight issue. This has been pointed out to you by more than one poster, but instead of seeing your error, you double down, digging yourself a deeper hole. True, it’s just what a Dumbass like you _would_ do. Similarly, my stance on homosexuality has nothing to do with the error I pointed out. The error you made is your error. I simply pointed it out. Whether I hate homosexuals or am a gay man in a loving long term relationship with another man is immaterial. I love that you don’t get that. It’s kind of proof that your Dumbassery is here to stay. A millstone of your own making to carry through life with you. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/124 "2010-09-07T07:44:59Z")
> [@Captain\_Midnight](#): > > I would rather be fat that\*\* stick my dick up another man’s ass.\*\* There is not a single statement in that entire post that is not a lie, but there is no statement in that post that is a bigger lie than this one. ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/125 "2010-09-07T11:19:06Z")
To hijack a bit more, I really think **thirdname** was making a joke. I think it’s akin to **Diosa** having one boob. Winky smiley maybe. Frankly I hope I’m being wooshed by **Shagnasty** but probably not. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/126 "2010-09-07T13:12:26Z")
**Diosa** only has one boob?! ---
**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/127 "2010-09-07T13:56:50Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > This post of yours was quite unnecessary. really. You already demonstrated that you are a Grade A Dumbass. So, this was a bit redundant. > > Now, seeing that you really can’t comprehend why exactly your dumbassery has been so fabulously displayed, I’ll give you a hint (as others have already pointed out): **CM’s** stance on homosexuality should be criticized for whatever failing you feel it has. It has nothing to do with his weight issue. This has been pointed out to you by more than one poster, but instead of seeing your error, you double down, digging yourself a deeper hole. True, it’s just what a Dumbass like you _would_ do. > > Similarly, my stance on homosexuality has nothing to do with the error I pointed out. The error you made is your error. I simply pointed it out. Whether I hate homosexuals or am a gay man in a loving long term relationship with another man is immaterial. > > I love that you don’t get that. It’s kind of proof that your Dumbassery is here to stay. A millstone of your own making to carry through life with you. I guess there really is nothing that will stop you from being a drooling idiot. I’ve never met someone as stupid as you. It’s like you ooze stupidity from every pore. I wonder how you manage to breathe. But I suppose that’s true of most bigots like yourself. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/128 "2010-09-07T14:20:07Z")
I love the logic, or lack of it, in the OP. If somebody says something offensive about one thing, you can insult them with something wholly irrelevant. It’s a catch all. **BrightNShiny** hates fat people. Therefore, **BrightNShiny** is a faggot and we shouldn’t tolerate anything he says in regards to homosexuals. The logic is perfect! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/129 "2010-09-07T14:32:15Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > No, I don’t want to watch you kiss and hold hands in public. No, I don’t want my children seeing this shit or be indoctrinated by your “lifestyle”. > > Holding hands and kissing is now considered to be “incessant promiscuity and vulgar displays of sexuality”? :rolleyes: > > (I also LOVE the fact that **Shagnasty** was surprised by seeing homosexual flamboyance in _San Francisco_, of all places! Jesus Christ!) Just where did you get that quote from? I can’t find it in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/130 "2010-09-07T14:35:03Z")
Lemme get this straight. Dude says things like this: > [@Captain\_Midnight](#): > > Hello, > > This is the agenda of the homosexual. The insult. If you disagree with what they have to say, they get all red in the face and starts with the insults. This is all they have in the World. > > I would rather be fat that stick my dick up another man’s ass. I would rather be fat than accept two men or two women throw their homosexuality in my face and the faces of everyone else. > > The homosexuals have thrown their sodomy, feces eating, carpet munching effiminate men and mascular women shit for so long that most of us just say fuck it and move on. It’s not so much that people are into deviant behavior, I just hate to be lied to. Saying that people are born gay, that people of the same sex can have the same relationship and values as heterosexuals and that hopmosexuals can adopt children and have them be normal is a lie. Honestly, we Americans have been lied to for so long, that we just accept it. > > To the Op, stick a dick in your mouth. I’ll stick to doritoes. > > In the 2008 election, when the economy, foreign affairs, the Middle East, jobs going overseas and everything else, it seems that half of the time the issue was if two fags can be legally married. And so you try to make some bizarre, convoluted point about hypocrisy by mocking him for being _fat_? Seriously. Just post the man’s hateful words with a big arrow pointing at them. Maybe throw in a :dubious: if you feel like adding some color. It’s like trying to write a sonnet about how shit stinks. Really not necessary. Just point at it and shrug and we’ll all nod\*. Yep, that shit sure is stinky. \*Well, those of us who aren’t homophobic morons who would have missed your point anyway. There’s no knocking sense into those people, so don’t waste your time. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/131 "2010-09-07T14:35:03Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > **Diosa** only has one boob?! And the drummer from Def Lepard only has one arm! ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/132 "2010-09-07T15:19:34Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > I love the logic, or lack of it, in the OP. If somebody says something offensive about one thing, you can insult them with something wholly irrelevant. It’s a catch all. **BrightNShiny** hates fat people. Therefore, **BrightNShiny** is a faggot and we shouldn’t tolerate anything he says in regards to homosexuals. The logic is perfect! Jesus, you’re dumb. ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/133 "2010-09-07T16:20:15Z")
> [@BrightNShiny](#): > > > [@magellan01](#): > > > > This post of yours was quite unnecessary. really. You already demonstrated that you are a Grade A Dumbass. So, this was a bit redundant. > > > > Now, seeing that you really can’t comprehend why exactly your dumbassery has been so fabulously displayed, I’ll give you a hint (as others have already pointed out): **CM’s** stance on homosexuality should be criticized for whatever failing you feel it has. It has nothing to do with his weight issue. This has been pointed out to you by more than one poster, but instead of seeing your error, you double down, digging yourself a deeper hole. True, it’s just what a Dumbass like you _would_ do. > > > > Similarly, my stance on homosexuality has nothing to do with the error I pointed out. The error you made is your error. I simply pointed it out. Whether I hate homosexuals or am a gay man in a loving long term relationship with another man is immaterial. > > > > I love that you don’t get that. It’s kind of proof that your Dumbassery is here to stay. A millstone of your own making to carry through life with you. > > I guess there really is nothing that will stop you from being a drooling idiot. I’ve never met someone as stupid as you. It’s like you ooze stupidity from every pore. I wonder how you manage to breathe. But I suppose that’s true of most bigots like yourself. Even if that were all true, all you’ve offered is an ad hominem fallacy. Now how about you answering the serious questions in my first post to you. Or do you prefer to just keep digging? ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/134 "2010-09-07T16:22:00Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > > [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > > > I love the logic, or lack of it, in the OP. If somebody says something offensive about one thing, you can insult them with something wholly irrelevant. It’s a catch all. **BrightNShiny** hates fat people. Therefore, **BrightNShiny** is a faggot and we shouldn’t tolerate anything he says in regards to homosexuals. The logic is perfect! > > Jesus, you’re dumb. If you have a problem with the content you responded to, you attributed dumbness to the wrong person in the exchange. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/135 "2010-09-07T16:23:04Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > > [@Guinastasia](#): > > > > Holding hands and kissing is now considered to be “incessant promiscuity and vulgar displays of sexuality”? :rolleyes: > > > > (I also LOVE the fact that **Shagnasty** was surprised by seeing homosexual flamboyance in _San Francisco_, of all places! Jesus Christ!) > > Just where did you get that quote from? I can’t find it in this thread. _face palm_ Maybe should have looked harder. You know, read the [OP](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12882295&postcount=1), maybe? Jesus Christ. Here’s the [original link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12788876&postcount=94). ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/136 "2010-09-07T16:23:25Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > **Diosa** only has one boob?! That is a malicious rumor! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/137 "2010-09-07T16:25:58Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > [@Bosstone](#): > > > > **Diosa** only has one boob?! > > That is a malicious rumor! Yeah, but **thirdname** IS a boob. Oh, and thanks for the link. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/138 "2010-09-07T16:33:35Z")
What I really want to know is, have you ever taken a picture of yourself with two licorice ropes stuck up your nose, **Diosa**? And, are you gonna go my way? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/139 "2010-09-07T16:43:47Z")
I forgot to say, **DigitalC** , you need to lay off the [self-tanner.](http://www.nouilles.info/sdpix/62047.html) You’re heading into Jersey Shore levels, there. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/140 "2010-09-07T16:50:27Z")
I have that octopus necklace in silver. I want compliments, too! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787.md?page=8)