# Captain Midnight is a Fat-Ass! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 6, 2010, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787 "2010-09-06T12:53:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/141 "2010-09-07T16:57:31Z")
Post a pic, then. Whaddaya think we are? ---
**Author:** ![Chicagojeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@Chicagojeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicagojeff)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/142 "2010-09-07T16:59:37Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > [@thirdname](#): > > > > I didn’t even go to her site (which is linked to in her profile) until she said something about a dog and I was wondering what she was talking about. Christ, I just stumbled on a thread where she was openly debating someone who didn’t believe she was fat. I’d be happy to remove the links if anybody is offended, but it’s too late for that. > > You really thought that was an open debate, eh? Sure, that makes sense- you stumbled upon that very serious exchange and wanted to defend my fat honor, so you posted pictures showing that if anyone thinks I’m thin, it’s merely an illusion. Thank you, **thirdname**. You are a white knight on this board of negativity. Umm didn’t seem to locate thirdname’s pic in the doper pile? Did I just miss it.. or did he throw some pics out of you and has never posted one of himself? So after pitting fat dudes who are up in arms concerning gay men.. then it’ll be onto to guys commenting on women and not having their pics posted.. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/143 "2010-09-07T16:59:42Z")
I don’t have one of me wearing the necklace. ☹ I have one of a bee, though. See, [bee](http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e266/WryOnRye/bee1.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/144 "2010-09-07T17:02:21Z")
zomg, that is a pretty necklace! ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/145 "2010-09-07T17:03:24Z")
Thank you. That is all I ever wanted to hear. And now, to get some actual work done. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/146 "2010-09-07T17:41:41Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Oh, and thanks for the link. No problem :). It really is a neato necklace. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > What I really want to know is, have you ever taken a picture of yourself with two licorice ropes stuck up your nose, **Diosa**? And, are you gonna go my way? Um, I’m going to have to kindly request that you stop stalking my Facebook photos from last weekend. > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I have that octopus necklace in silver. I want compliments, too! People crack me up. _does double take_ _squints_ “Is that. . . an octopus?. . .Why would you have an octopus necklace?” “WHY NOT?!” I’m as abrasive in RL as I am here, btw. heh > [@Chicagojeff](#): > > Umm didn’t seem to locate thirdname’s pic in the doper pile? Did I just miss it.. or did he throw some pics out of you and has never posted one of himself? > So after pitting fat dudes who are up in arms concerning gay men.. then it’ll be onto to guys commenting on women and not having their pics posted.. Look, I’m sure he’s a super duper stud. Like, I bet his abs are beyond a Situation, his jaw is chisled to perfection, he has a full head of lush hair, and is a doctor who has a slight bad boy edge (maybe has a motorcycle), but also works at the animal shelter on the weekends. Basically, he’s every woman’s dream man. And here I am, being all fat girl angled, dreaming that he’d pay me attention. ☹ But really: typical Dope behavior. Disagree with woman? Call her fat and ugly! The issue with that tactic is that while it works on women with self esteem issues (and certainly, some of the most beautiful women in the world fall victim to those issues, so it isn’t a matter of actual beauty, but perception), it isn’t so successful on ladies like me, who have more confidence than a tubby lumpkins like me really should have. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/147 "2010-09-07T18:57:51Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > People crack me up. _does double take_ _squints_ “Is that. . . an octopus?. . .Why would you have an octopus necklace?” “WHY NOT?!” The jellyfish necklace you sent me is awesome, but someone looked at it, _squinted_ and then asked, “is that a flea?” REALLY? REALLY? WHY YES, I’M WEARING A NECKLACE OF A BIG SILVER FLEA. Course, I guess that to some, it makes as much sense as wearing a jellyfish necklace. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/148 "2010-09-07T18:58:53Z")
Now I want a fancy, diamond encrusted flea necklace for my MySpace angle photos. ---
**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/149 "2010-09-07T19:00:57Z")
> [@BrightNShiny](#): > > > [@Shagnasty](#): > > > > Not at all. There is just a mixed message sometimes. Gay people aren’t one monolithic group of course but sometimes the media likes to present them as a direct equivalent of the quiet heterosexual down the street when it doesn’t always work that way. I have seen personally witnessed the things that are straight out of the Religious Right’s worst nightmare. Granted, I mostly hung out with them when I lived in New Orleans which has the cream of the crop on top but I have also seen it in San Francisco and Cape Cod. It gets hard to keep track of which stereotype people are supposed to believe sometimes. Some might say there shouldn’t be any stereotype at all because they are just people which gets my vote but then you wouldn’t be having gay pride parades and pink ribbon campaigns. The Onion article referenced above was spot on as usual. > > New Orleans? Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve been to Mardi Gras many times and seen tons of straight people flashing their breasts and waving their dicks around and puking on the sidewalks. New Orleans is the height of straight debauchery, and yet somehow it’s the gay people who are out of the Religious Right’s worst nightmare. You’re a fucking bigoted asshole. I’m starting to get an uneasy feeling that America has somehow changed since my youth in the aspirational days of Nathaniel Hawthorne, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry Thoreau, Emily Dickinson, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and Robert E. Lee, and no-one bothered to tell me. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/150 "2010-09-07T19:00:57Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Now I want a fancy, diamond encrusted flea necklace for my MySpace angle photos. Try to go a bit more classy, for god’s sake. Swarovsky crystals. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/151 "2010-09-07T19:01:32Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > > [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > > Now I want a fancy, diamond encrusted flea necklace for my MySpace angle photos. > > Try to go a bit more classy, for god’s sake. Swarovsky crystals. It’ll match my Snooki tan and poof. ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/152 "2010-09-07T19:04:40Z")
Hawt. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/153 "2010-09-07T20:33:40Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > \ > > It’ll match my Snooki tan and poof. I think I know what I want to be for Halloween now (if nothing else, just to say “Snooki tan and poof” to someone). ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/154 "2010-09-07T20:46:27Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > > [@Guinastasia](#): > > > > I’m not gay, but can I still support the Homosexual Agenda? What about the “Hopmosexual Agenda?” > > > > 😉 > > “Can you explain the whole of sexual relationships while hopping on one foot?” -Hillelm, slightly modified 😉 “Do it unto others as you would have them do it unto you, and the rest is commentary”? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/155 "2010-09-07T20:47:46Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > > [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > > \ > > > > It’ll match my Snooki tan and poof. > > I think I know what I want to be for Halloween now (if nothing else, just to say “Snooki tan and poof” to someone). We had a guido party for my birthday last year. I painted myself so orange and had such a fierce poof. You don’t even know. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/156 "2010-09-07T21:42:24Z")
I believe the Hopmosexuals are condemned by the Seventh-Day Advent-Hoppists, who are a religion based on an unfortunate misprint. “Faith, hop, and charity, and the greatest of these is hop.” Sunday evening dinners are a nightmare for them…soup flying everywhere… ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/157 "2010-09-07T21:50:06Z")
Of course it’s an octopus necklace. She bought it of a Pall Mall jeweller, and he charged her over a thousand squid! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/158 "2010-09-07T21:53:00Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Of course it’s an octopus necklace. She bought it of a Pall Mall jeweller, and he charged her over a thousand squid! 😛 _Boooooo!_ ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2010, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/159 "2010-09-07T22:51:52Z")
Boy, that cost an arm and…another arm. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787/160 "2010-09-08T02:36:24Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > [@Bosstone](#): > > > > **Diosa** only has one boob?! > > That is a malicious rumor! No, silly, it was just the reducing angle of the Fat Girl Angle Shot photo that made it seem that way! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captain-midnight-is-a-fat-ass/552787.md?page=9)