# Caption contest - DJT photos **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 6, 2020, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360 "2020-10-06T19:22:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/1 "2020-10-06T19:22:38Z")
Caption contest. No prize other than the obvious and probably much needed catharsis. #1: [![](https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/40a/3b9/b22ae3001f142a69a0b671243386797f15-29-president-trump-american-flag-cpac-20.rhorizontal.w700.jpg) ](https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/40a/3b9/b22ae3001f142a69a0b671243386797f15-29-president-trump-american-flag-cpac-20.rhorizontal.w700.jpg) #2: [![](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/800/cpsprodpb/11833/production/_112613717_tv061741048.jpg) ](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/800/cpsprodpb/11833/production/_112613717_tv061741048.jpg) #3: [![](https://www.bnnbloomberg.ca/polopoly_fs/1.1504167.1601974923!/fileimage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_620/washington-dc-october-05-u-s-president-donald-trump-salutes-marine-one-helicopter-pilots-after-returning-to-the-white-house-from-walter-reed-national-military-medical-center-on-october-05-2020-in-washington-dc-trump-spent-three-days-hospitalized-for-coronavirus-photo-by-win-mcnamee-getty-images-photographer-win-mcnamee-getty-images-north-america.jpg) ](https://www.bnnbloomberg.ca/polopoly_fs/1.1504167.1601974923!/fileimage/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/landscape_620/washington-dc-october-05-u-s-president-donald-trump-salutes-marine-one-helicopter-pilots-after-returning-to-the-white-house-from-walter-reed-national-military-medical-center-on-october-05-2020-in-washington-dc-trump-spent-three-days-hospitalized-for-coronavirus-photo-by-win-mcnamee-getty-images-photographer-win-mcnamee-getty-images-north-america.jpg) Maybe just use the numbers in responses … as in: 1. “The President commented that Bill Clinton’s biggest mistake was aiming at an article of clothing instead of aiming at something far less obvious.” 2. “Glad I wore my flame-retardant suit !” 3. “I MAY HAVE MESSED MYSELF … _SIR !!_” ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/2 "2020-10-06T19:30:58Z")
“The flag of Slovenia has nothing on you, baby.” “Remember, only you can prevent Holy Hellfire.” -Smokey The Slob “I only shade my right eye. Besides, the left one is blind. And stupid.” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/3 "2020-10-06T19:49:42Z")
1. Small rodent tries to defend Old Glory from desecration. 2. God’s wrath causes small rodents to fall from the sky. 3. Small rodent falls onto a 6’3" pile of shit. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/4 "2020-10-06T19:56:37Z")
1. “I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing it. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful flags—I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab 'em by the stripes. You can do anything.” 2. “Anyone know how to read this?” 3. “Thank you, Captain Helicopter!” ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/5 "2020-10-06T20:08:16Z")
1. I like how this wooden pole feels between my legs. Never felt ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE! 2. Duuuuuhhhhh… How read book? 3. Ja, commrade Putin. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlax/32/2927_2.png) [@Scarlax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlax)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/6 "2020-10-06T20:14:57Z")
1. God hates flags 2. “Oh yea? Obama couldn’t pick up this book. The good book. The, and I mean this, really, the best book. Well, it’s no Art of the Deal, but then again, Jesus was never the President. And why would you, I mean, people come up to me, the bigliest people, a tear in his eye, and he tells me Don, that’s my name, so he says Don, and I tell him that I’m president, so I wrote the best book, and have you ever even seen Hillary pray? She’s a secret Muslim who will make you socialists and she came in second, and I like people who aren’t losers, let me tell you. Believe me.” 3. Job performance meeting with Putin ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/7 "2020-10-06T20:15:48Z")
1. This is the BEST book. I wrote it myself. Nobody ever thought I could make a better book than Art of the Deal, but I did. Everybody’s saying it. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/8 "2020-10-06T20:23:24Z")
1. I LOVE CHEESEBURGERS! 2. I LOVE CHEESEBURGERS! 3. I LOVE CHEESEBURGERS! [more words to placate discobot.] ---
**Author:** ![SingleMalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/singlemalt/32/3961_2.png) [@SingleMalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SingleMalt)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/9 "2020-10-06T20:28:43Z")
No. 3: “Hey, I can see the White House from here!” “Sir, turn around.” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/10 "2020-10-06T20:58:28Z")
1. “And now I kiss Ohio’s star, and then I’ll kiss Kansas’s star, and then Michigan’s star …” 2. “And this book contains an example of great leadership–Moses. It was Moses who led the baby Jesus from the Garden of Eden, and through the wilderness, before stopping to hear a sermon on a mountain. Then he took two tablets, might have been Advil, might have been Tylenol, I don’t know; but …” 3. In the fading daylight, Trump can’t see well enough to realize he’s actually saluting the fountain on the South Lawn. ---
**Author:** ![eschrodinger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschrodinger/32/122_2.png) [@eschrodinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschrodinger)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/11 "2020-10-06T21:10:56Z")
1. Anyone know what this thing is? Anyone? ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/12 "2020-10-06T23:25:04Z")
All of the above: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/G5aJROe1nyw/hqdefault.jpg "They are so dumb.") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5aJROe1nyw) ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/13 "2020-10-06T23:28:40Z")
1. “Never trust your car to a man who humps the star.” 2. “I hold in my hand … the **failing** King James Bible ! Have you seen its ratings lately ? _Terrible_” 3. “Awwwwww, shit. Pretty sure I just Krazy Glued my hand to my forehead again. Jared ?? JAH-RED ?!?” ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/14 "2020-10-06T23:32:19Z")
1. “Ooh. Wrinkles. I’ll bet this is how Melania would feel without all the Botox.” 2. “Anybody want to twist up a fattie ? People are saying that Leviticus works _great_ for that.” 3. “I saw this on Star Trek once. Watch me give Biden an aneurysm.” ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/15 "2020-10-06T23:35:12Z")
1. “Stars … stripes … and now … a diminutive mushroom.” 2. “I hold in my hand the list of approved Supreme Court nominees provided to me by the Federalist Society.” 3. “If I flip my hand slightly up and slightly down at just the right speed, It looks like the propeller on the hopt-i-copter is _standing still_” ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2020, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/16 "2020-10-06T23:39:15Z")
1. “Grab-em by the pulley.” 2. "Toilet paper shortage? Not in my house!’ 3. Saying to self: “You salute with your right hand, right? Or is it your left? Please let it be the right, 'cause if I’m wrong on this I will fire someone.” ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2020, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/17 "2020-10-07T03:35:42Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > “And this book contains an example of great leadership–Moses. It was Moses who led the baby Jesus from the Garden of Eden, and through the wilderness, before stopping to hear a sermon on a mountain. Now that sounds more like something Sarah Palin might have said. (If you add something about capturing the airport at Jericho, then it’s more Trumpish.) ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2020, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/18 "2020-10-07T03:44:02Z")
(I wanted to post a pic of Trump making goofy faces when he mocked Serge Kovalesky, but I could only find videos and not a still pic.) ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2020, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/19 "2020-10-07T04:15:51Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > If you add something about capturing the airport at Jericho, then it’s more Trumpish. Jericho. Walls. They had the best walls of the time. The most beautiful walls. Those walls lasted for years. For centuries. They were big, beautiful walls. That’s what we need. America’s walls. Just like Jericho’s. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2020, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360/20 "2020-10-07T04:37:14Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > Jericho. Walls. They had the best walls of the time. The most beautiful walls. Those walls lasted for years. For centuries. They were big, beautiful walls. That’s what we need. America’s walls. Just like Jericho’s. Then a guy named Joshua came along. I think he played for the Tijuana Brass, or something. Anyway, he blew a trumpet, and Jericho’s walls fell down. My walls won’t, not at the sound of a trumpet. In fact, I’d like to hear the sound of a trumpet at that wall, playing Re-vile as our beautiful Stars and Stripes is hoisted on a flagpole at dawn, just so those Mexicans know who we are. Now, this book also tells about when a guy named Daniel played for the Detroit Lions… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caption-contest-djt-photos/922360.md?page=2)