# Captions wanted. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 5, 1999, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757 "1999-12-05T04:49:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Erroneous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71c47a/32.png) [@Erroneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erroneous)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/1 "1999-12-05T04:49:00Z")
Ok, let’s see if this works. In another message board that I frequent, people often start a new topic and include an image in their original post. Everyone else then comes up with captions for that picture. It’s really very simple, so I thought I’d try and start something similar here. Apologies if this idea’s already been tried before here and was unsuccessful…I’ve only recently started reading the SDMBs frequently. So then, I present to you the very first (maybe) SDMB MPISMS caption thread. And here’s the picture: [http://www.sexpo.com.au/dbimages/images.large.154.PIC00004.jpg](http://www.sexpo.com.au/dbimages/images.large.154.PIC00004.jpg) I hope that works, or I’m going to look like an idiot. …Not that I don’t already look like an idiot. “Barney now spends his days drinking, wandering the streets dejectedly, and trying to work out why his successful show was suddenly cancelled.” “The crowd’s terror turned to amazement as godzilla underwent a bizzare mutation.” …and so on. I’m sure you can all do much better than that. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/2 "1999-12-05T04:57:00Z")
Hmmm, a caption for some superimposed rectangles and a red “X.” I’ll have to get back with you on this one. . . . ---
**Author:** ![JBENZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b77776/32.png) [@JBENZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBENZ)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/3 "1999-12-05T05:04:00Z")
“I’m sorry but we reserve the right to refuse service to dickheads.” * * * JB Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/4 "1999-12-05T07:54:00Z")
“The men’s room is around the corner and to the left. …this should be interesting” “Do NOT even think about spitting” “So, um, how tall are you when you stand up straight?” and of course: “Penisaurus Rex” ---
**Author:** ![The\_LION](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e7dd6/32.png) [@The\_LION](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_LION)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/5 "1999-12-05T08:13:00Z")
When is the next flight to Tokyo? Barney does Boston. You want to do WHAT for $20.00. Peace t lion * * * * * * " I Wonder What Happens When I push THIS Button? " * * * ---
**Author:** ![Cabbage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@Cabbage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabbage)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/6 "1999-12-05T08:21:00Z")
Well, my real name is Richard, but my friends just call me Dick. ---
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/7 "1999-12-05T08:32:00Z")
“Why, yes, I _am_ the President of the United States.” ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/8 "1999-12-05T13:24:00Z")
“Hey babe. Come hear often?” * * * _It is too clear, and so it is hard to see._ ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/9 "1999-12-05T16:05:00Z")
‘Hey babe, this is how big it is!’ ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/10 "1999-12-05T16:36:00Z")
“A group of youngsters enjoy the opening party for the new Spielburg film, ‘Jurassic Dork’” * * * How do you like that! And without so much as a “Kiss my foot” or “Have an apple”! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 1999, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/11 "1999-12-05T23:59:00Z")
“Why do you suppose it only has one eye?” ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/12 "1999-12-06T00:43:00Z")
“I’m sure feeling stiff today!” ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/13 "1999-12-06T00:46:00Z")
You think that’s weird? I kicked him in the crotch and broke his nose! * * * “That’s entertainment!” —Vlad the Impaler ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/14 "1999-12-06T00:49:00Z")
“Behold the mighty **Masturdon** , which became extinct when it neglected to eat, drink or engage in procreation” * * * TT “Believe those who seek the truth. Doubt those who find it.” --Andre Gide ---
**Author:** ![Mac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Mac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/15 "1999-12-06T00:56:00Z")
Can I have your autograph? I loved your work in “Flesh Gordon”. ---
**Author:** ![sly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@sly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sly)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/16 "1999-12-06T01:10:00Z")
Viagra Plus. Available at fine stores everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/17 "1999-12-06T05:49:00Z")
“No, he IS Jewish. That’s just a scarf.” or “So THIS is what lawyers evolved from!” (okay that last one was pretty much inspired by the “Why do lawyers wear neckties?” joke in the most recent lawyer jokes thread) ---
**Author:** ![Heath\_Doolin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Heath\_Doolin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heath_Doolin)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/18 "1999-12-06T06:06:00Z")
The hit of COMDEX was, of course, Microsoft’s Dildo 2000. You know, its just like Bill Gates. When he does it, he does it big. * * * I know that I have put you through hell, and I know that I have been one rough pecker. But from here on, you are all in my cool book.- Seth Gecko From Dusk Till Dawn ---
**Author:** ![Heath\_Doolin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Heath\_Doolin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heath_Doolin)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/19 "1999-12-06T06:08:00Z")
oops forgot one "Dale scoffed at such things as a Viagra Overdose. Tragically, the side effects proved most embarrassing. ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 1999, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757/20 "1999-12-06T06:23:00Z")
Judging by the reaction of the nearby women, size really doesn’t matter. The transplant surgery went horribly, horribly wrong. He would be scarred for life. * * * _ **SanibelMan** _ - [My Homepage](http://members.macconnect.com/~jonkleinow/) “Step away from the bell curve, sir.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/captions-wanted/11757.md?page=2)