Car Commercials That Don't, That Don't, Rock Me

I remember reading that Bob Seger has no problems with GM using “Like A Rock” in its TRUCK (not car) ads - he knows that the blue collar workers that make the trucks are his core audience, and will do anything to support them.

Car commercials that did rock me:

The Jaguar commercial that featured Etta James singing “At Last,” and the Mercedes commercial where Marlene Dietrich sings “Fawwing in Wuv Again”

Don’t get me started on that goddam Mercedes commercial! Marlene’s evil trog bitch daughter from hell, Mawia Wiva, purposely lisenced Marlene’s voice to them because she knew Mama would spin in her grave. Mercedes was well-known for their Nazi collarboration, and Marlene was equally well-known for her work for the Allies in WWII.

I hope the “Praise you” one by Benz is okay because the commercial caused me to buy the CD. I put the top down, crank the player and pretend the cameras are rolling.

Now, if I just had somewhere to go.

Jaguar’s “History Repeating,” Propellerheads Featuring Miss Shirley Bassey, is undeniably fabulous (although, peculiarly, it isn’t included on the Shirley Bassey remix album).

Apparently, Pete Townsend has totally sold out his rebellious youth stance to Cadillac. Hope he’s rolling around wondering, “Who the fuck are you?”

If I’m missing a sly joke, let me know. Otherwise, it’s pretty damn sad…

Huh. The ghost of ol’ Harley Earl strongly resembles John Diehl to me. Think they’re related?

And speaking of weird songs to hear on a commercial, anybody remember that SUV commercial with The Buzzcocks?

The Buzzcocks, for God’s sake.

Back in the 80s, Oldsmobile (I think) used Arlo Guthrie’s City of New Orleans with some of the lyrics carefully butchered. The song was supposed to be a lament about the declining railroads, partly caused by automobiles.

Just imagine the duet that could have been with Elmer Fudd. Woo!

Is there a Cadillac ad featuring The Who? The only ones I’ve seen have used Led Zeppelin’s Rock and Roll (no less depressing, admittedly).

I do remember Nissan using a few Who songs, though: Baba O’Reilly, Love Reign O’er Me (I think), and maybe one other. I must confess that that series of Nissan ads did use some very catchy (and sometimes obscure) riffs/instrumental passages, such as the opening guitar to the Smiths’ How Soon Is Now?, the bass line to the Smithereens’ Blood and Roses, and the rhythmic “doo-doo-doo-doo” part of Suzanne Vega’s Tom’s Diner. As annoying as it is to hear those in commercials, at least Nissan had taste, and chose some pretty good stuff.

Has Toyota been running this one in America?

A nice-looking car is parked right in front of some Wall Street-ish looking building. An American motorcycle cop (male) looks it over, whips out his little book, and starts writing what looks to be a ticket. The 30-ish owner (also male) of the car comes up and the cop hands him the piece of paper, saying: “I haven’t seen you around here before.” He then smiles. “Call me.”

Surprised me so much that I can’t remember if it was Toyota or not. Anyway, it stands out from the crowd, I’ll give it that.

[major hijack]Oh man THAT’S the song title! Thank you so much it’s been driving my roomie and I nuts for ages now as we try to figure out who did it. Kinda hard to ask online when all we have in our heads is the ‘doo doo doodoo doo doo’ part[/major hijack]

I can agree with car commercials being annoying… the whole ‘zoom zoom’ thing… shudders Like nails on a chalkboard to me…

Well, OK, so far no one has been able to answer my question: why does Chevy think that being “Like a Rock” is a good selling point for a car? If I were buying a car, I’d want one that was as little like a rock as I could possibly find.

And I still shudder at Buick’s new “hiring the dead” policy. It’s just a sneaky way to avoid paying salaries and benefits—what could be cheaper than a Sisyhpusian assembly line of undead souls?

Ummmmm…dependability?

You want to be able to depend on your car to start up when the weather’s cold; to depend on it not to have a four-tire blowout while you’re negotiating a tricky curve on Mount Tamalpais with a 2,000 foot drop a few inches off to the right.

Rocks are dependable. You can depend on them to just sit there. Rocks don’t go fuckin’ with your head.

I don’t believe it’s Cadillac, but anyway, as all Who fans know, The Who officially sold out in 1967.

Pete Townshend has gone on record as saying that he does not feel at all bad about selling his songs to commercials since 1) he wants people to hear his music, and doesn’t think that rock radio is doing a good enough job of putting it out there and 2) since rock radio is for the most part funded by advertisers’ money, why not cut the middle man and get paid directly by the advertisers themselves?

Iggy “Mitsubishi” Pop has similarly said that after being told for his entire career that his music wasn’t commercial enough to get radio airplay, he has discovered that it is commercial enough for actual commercials and is pleased (and amused) to be making some money they way.

Yeah, but, the only thing you can depend on a rock to do is sit there and never, ever go anywhere. Not a quality I want in my car.

I always thought the “Like a rock” referred to the vehicle being solid - “rock-solid” - tough, manly, sturdy, timeless… At least that’s what I thought they tried to convey. What do I know - I drive a minivan.

Wouldn’t it be damned hard to get into a car that’s rock-solid?

Now, now, Eve…you’re scanning your metaphors a little too closely.

If a suitor were to tell you that your Beauty was as the Sun, would you go “EWWWWW…you think I’m a flaming ball of hot gases that causes melanoma?”

Eve, the idea of the “rock” campaign is supposed to be that the car or truck (usually truck, right?) is solid, and won’t break down. Dependable, as Ike said. The connotation is that they’re tough - not just to do the stupid things they do in the car commercial, but for pure safety reasons. The implication is that a “like a rock” truck will fare well in an accident.

Still, the campaign didn’t work for me 16 years ago (or whenever), and it’s only boring now.

I guess “Like A Pebble” was already taken.