# Caren needs you to stop stealing food from her children's mouths. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 3, 2020, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044 "2020-05-03T00:21:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2020, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/41 "2020-05-03T21:50:08Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Ya know, before all this I was one of those few who wiped their ass with toilet paper, but now, EVERYONE, is jumping on the bandwagon. Speak for yourself, peasant. And Whole Foods is running low on Dasani water for the bidet, so the rest of you stop drinking it. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![lum\_s\_husband](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lum_s_husband/32/3698_2.png) [@lum\_s\_husband](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lum_s_husband)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2020, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/42 "2020-05-03T22:46:22Z")
> [@HMS\_Irruncible](#): > > I can empathize a little bit. At my grocery, the sliced-bread shelves are overflowing, so nobody NEEDS to make bread. Meanwhile, those of us who bake and cook as part of our normal life can’t pick up our normal bag of flour every couple of weeks. Perhaps this can fucking apply to Caren as well as the rest of us. Don’t be a fucking Caren. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2020, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/43 "2020-05-03T23:05:37Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Just reading the name “Caren” makes me want to slap her parents. Caren–like Karen, except a big “C”. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2020, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/44 "2020-05-03T23:48:09Z")
You must have missed that she is a **Master Gardener** \. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/45 "2020-05-04T00:20:18Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > …Whole Foods is running low on Dasani water for the bidet, so the rest of you stop drinking it. Gerolsteiner or GTFO. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/46 "2020-05-04T00:50:39Z")
[Quoth Mrs. C](https://heavy.com/news/2020/05/caren-white-stop-baking-bread/) > [@](#): > > If I am what is wrong with the world, then I’m in good company. The company of people you apparently have no idea even exists. I am not shocked by the response to what I wrote. I expected to hear from a lot of entitled privileged people. What shocks me is that no one seems to be aware of anyone outside of their own group. No one seems [to] know anyone who doesn’t look or live like them. They think that they are the only ones who exist and matter. Sorry, they are not. And they need to learn to share. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/47 "2020-05-04T00:59:31Z")
Projection, thy name is Ckaren. Karrin. Cheryn? Whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Jane\_Elliot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jane_elliot/32/6166_2.png) [@Jane\_Elliot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jane_Elliot)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/48 "2020-05-04T01:33:08Z")
> [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > Somewhere on the internet, in an eerily silent waiting room, Caren takes a seat next to Cook’s Source. But honestly, Monica . . . ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/49 "2020-05-04T01:58:00Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Years ago when I was the meat/poultry buyer for the Park Slope Food Coop (“the world’s most annoying grocery store”) . Hijack: was it really? I used to sell produce to Park Slope, also years ago, by way of a growers’ cooperative. They were one of our best customers. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/50 "2020-05-04T02:35:47Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Caren–like Karen, except a big “C”. Why would want to slap them for using the jerund\* to show they’re car’n’ people. Honestly, I’m surprised they didn’t go with apostrophes instead of vowels in their spelling of the name. \*That was intentional. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/51 "2020-05-04T02:56:20Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Then you will have some dickhead whinging because all the fruit and veg is gone and they needed it for whatever wankery crap they do to try and make themselves feel unique. Very important uses for vegetables: [![](https://www.themarysue.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/faces_screamingpepper.jpeg) ](https://www.themarysue.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/faces_screamingpepper.jpeg) [https://mysticalraven.com/art/13688/meet-the-vegetable-orchestra-who-play-instruments-made-of-veggies](https://mysticalraven.com/art/13688/meet-the-vegetable-orchestra-who-play-instruments-made-of-veggies) [![](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.pdut0vBchGSGw9nGaCOIsgHaE7%26pid%3DApi&f=1) ](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.pdut0vBchGSGw9nGaCOIsgHaE7%26pid%3DApi&f=1) [![](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse3.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.6YkUWSrTwjePdVJ-s7CiYgHaJ5%26pid%3DApi&f=1) ](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse3.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.6YkUWSrTwjePdVJ-s7CiYgHaJ5%26pid%3DApi&f=1) [![](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.kkNuzKMWhGcYG0ggbuuyyQHaDW%26pid%3DApi&f=1) ](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse4.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.kkNuzKMWhGcYG0ggbuuyyQHaDW%26pid%3DApi&f=1) ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/52 "2020-05-04T04:07:51Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Then you will have some dickhead whinging because all the fruit and veg is gone and they needed it for whatever wankery crap they do to try and make themselves feel unique. Smoothies, obvs. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/53 "2020-05-04T05:26:13Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > Ya know, before all this I was one of those few who wiped their ass with toilet paper, but now, EVERYONE, is jumping on the bandwagon. I’m still wiping mine with flour. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/54 "2020-05-04T06:03:32Z")
> [@Superdude](#): > > I’m still wiping mine with flour. Wonder Bread is best. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/55 "2020-05-04T09:57:19Z")
> [@carrps](#): > > We got about 3 lbs of spaghetti before the lockdown. We’re saving it for now in case we need it … and it’s pretty shelf-stable. Hard wheat pasta is shelf stable – hard wheat was the basis of the Roman Empire --, and to my eternal irritation, it’s what we have on our shelves once the Italian immigrants became sufficiently wealthy and influential. When I first moved out of home, Australian soft-wheat spaghetti was still available, and it cooks in 5-7 minutes instead of 10-15 minutes. Which, IMHO, is nice if you’re a single male university student rather than a full-time home maker. Incidentally, the opposite is true about cornmeal. Italian Polenta is typically made with soft corn meal, which only lasts 3-6 months, instead of American hard corn meal, which typically lasts 1~2 years. If you are making fresh pasta at home, you can use bread flour instead of semolina/duram. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/56 "2020-05-04T10:08:35Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Wonder Bread is best. I am sure that Caren’s children only use home-baked bread. I do have pasta at home. It has an expiration date of 2015. Can dry pasta really expire? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/57 "2020-05-04T13:18:51Z")
Oh, you unimaginative people, buying spaghetti instead of [planting spaghetti trees](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU)… That’s the BBC’s piece from 1957 on the Spaghetti Harvest in Ticino (on the Switzerland/Italy border). Here’s [some background](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEqp0x6ajGE) on it. ---
**Author:** ![gdave](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gdave/32/3683_2.png) [@gdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gdave)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/58 "2020-05-04T14:40:39Z")
> [@psychobunny](#): > > I am sure that Caren’s children only use home-baked bread. > I do have pasta at home. It has an expiration date of 2015. Can dry pasta really expire? Somebody please correct me if I’m wrong, but my understanding is that dry pasta doesn’t really “expire”, as in become unsafe to eat, but it really does have a “best used by” date (about two years if stored in a cool and dry place). Past that, you may start to notice degradation in taste and texture. If your pasta has an expiration date of 2015, and you’re cooking it in 2020, unless you actually see mold or other discoloration or it has a moldy or musty smell (dry pasta can apparently go moldy), it should be perfectly safe to eat, but it may have lost a lot of flavor and it may have an unpleasant texture when cooked. Cook a small test batch - it if turns out ok, you’re good to go with the rest of the box. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/59 "2020-05-04T15:06:56Z")
> [@thorny\_locust](#): > > Hijack: was it really? I used to sell produce to Park Slope, also years ago, by way of a growers’ cooperative. They were one of our best customers. I was the backup produce buyer 2003-2005. What’s the name of your cooperative? I dealt with dozens of you guys for everything from eggs to summer tomatoes to chickens. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2020, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044/60 "2020-05-04T16:03:21Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > I was the backup produce buyer 2003-2005. What’s the name of your cooperative? I dealt with dozens of you guys for everything from eggs to summer tomatoes to chickens. It was Finger Lakes Organic; and now I think defunct, though not for some time after I left it. Last year I sold anything through FLO was 2003. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/caren-needs-you-to-stop-stealing-food-from-her-childrens-mouths/853044.md?page=4)