# Carlin's Law, the 2015 corollary **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 7, 2015, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300 "2015-09-07T22:50:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2015, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/1 "2015-09-07T22:50:24Z")
So I’ve always admired and believed in the fundamental truth of (George) Carlin’s Law: _ **"If you nail together two things that have never been nailed together before, some schmuck will buy it."** _ I see examples almost every day. So with a rising eyebrow at the “Internet of Things” concept and smartphone integration with things smart phone have no real business being near, and “There’s an app for that!” becoming less and less funny as time goes on, I read a bit in the Sunday _Times_ about a high-tech addition to smoke alarms that will listen for the sound of a smoke detector going off and send an alert to your smartphone. And I think… **"If you integrate two things that have never been integrated before, some blogger will call it progress."** ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2015, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/2 "2015-09-08T15:27:31Z")
So…you wouldn’t like to know your house might be catching fire while you’re out of your house somewhere? Not even if it meant you could call your neighbour and have him tell the fireman about your two dogs in the basement? Because I don’t even have a smart phone, and I could see how that could actually be useful! ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2015, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/3 "2015-09-08T15:49:01Z")
It sounds like the app passively listens for a smoke alarm going off, and then notifies you that a smoke alarm in your vicinity is going off. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2015, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/4 "2015-09-08T16:05:24Z")
Well, until AB comes back with a company or product name, I found 3 different smoke detectors with smartphone applications that I would consider if I were looking to update my smoke alarms: the [birdi](http://getbirdi.com/), the [nest protect](https://nest.com/smoke-co-alarm/install-and-explore/), and the [Asante](http://www.asante.com/smoke.asp), if only because it looks like all three can be silenced from a cell phone which would be nice when cooking. I’m not seeing where the concept of a smoke detector linked to a smart phone is in and of itself a laughable proposition. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2015, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/5 "2015-09-08T16:09:04Z")
It would also be a good thing for deaf folks. In their own home they have (hopefully!) the alarms with blinking lights, but what if they’re out somewhere? Or working late in an office where they can’t see the emergency lights? How else would they know? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2015, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/6 "2015-09-08T16:09:35Z")
“There’s an app for that” has been a meme for a while now… ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2015, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/7 "2015-09-08T17:11:22Z")
That same article in the NY Times refers to a baby’s onesie outfit that is fitted with a sensor to detect whenever the baby rolls over, or his body temperature rises. And you can link the sensor to anything else in your smart home–so that a light will come on, music will start playing, and the coffee machine starts perking. All at once, at 3:00 in the morning. IT’S PROGRESS!!! Why do tech nerds always try to do too much? Mash together all the tech, and ignore the human side. Google Glass failed because of this attitude. They tried to put the whole internet in front of your eyeball, and put a camera on everybody’s face, recording everything, all the time And then they were shocked and genuinely unable to comprehend why people were scared away. They could have succeeded if they had asked some human beings first…And then worked to match the technology to a niche market…doing a **useful** task that people actually want. (Say, pilots or surgeons , who need specific information displayed on a heads-up screen while keeping their hands free.) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2015, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/8 "2015-09-08T17:39:55Z")
> [@](#): > > So I’ve always admired and believed in the fundamental truth of (George) Carlin’s Law: > > “If you nail together two things that have never been nailed together before, some schmuck will buy it.” > > I see examples almost every day. From an old issue of Mad Magazine (pre-Carlin, I think, though I couldn’t swear to it), a Gift Catalog: > [@](#): > > This combination bicycle pump and juice squeezer is the perfect gift. Pump up a tire, and then relax with a glass of juice. Or make some juice, and then fix a flat! And the monogrammed name plate makes it a MUST for boat-owners! ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2015, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/9 "2015-09-08T18:08:53Z")
A couple decades ago, a morning show (radio) found somewhere a toaster-radio. He was giving it away as a prize for something. If kitchen counter space is scarce (certainly true of mine), I see the actual utility. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2015, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/10 "2015-09-08T18:10:34Z")
“It’s a floor wax AND A DESSERT TOPPING!” ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2015, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/11 "2015-09-08T18:32:47Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > “There’s an app for that” has been a meme for a while now… _Too_ long, seems to be the OP’s point. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2015, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/12 "2015-09-08T19:20:07Z")
BTW, here’s the article: > **[Opinion | The Internet of Way Too Many Things (Published 2015)](https://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/06/opinion/sunday/allison-arieff-the-internet-of-way-too-many-things.html?_r=0)** > > You may be able to get your phone to project bright colors if your window sensor detects a burglar, but what is protecting you from your phone? and here’s the device: [https://shop.leeo.com/](https://shop.leeo.com/) The hardware is a nightlight with a microphone & wifi connectivity. It will contact your smartphone via wifi and its own phone app if it detects a smoke or CO alarm going off. Is it useful to know if your home is on fire when you’re not home? Absolutely. Is it worth $99? That I don’t know. But it’s probably a lot cheaper than rewiring all your smoke alarms to go to a central panel that can call an alarm company directly. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2015, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/13 "2015-09-08T19:50:46Z")
Of course, if it is your wifi transceiver itself that has burst into flames, the device will not be able to notify you, or anyone, no matter how loud the smoke detector screams. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2015, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/14 "2015-09-08T19:56:32Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > Of course, if it is your wifi transceiver itself that has burst into flames, the device will not be able to notify you But there’s an app for that! ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2015, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/15 "2015-09-08T20:58:43Z")
I am tired from busting my butt all day. _There’s a nap for that!_ ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2015, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/16 "2015-09-09T12:44:43Z")
I’m tired of all those politicians making promised they won’t keep. _There’s some crap for that!_ Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2015, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/17 "2015-09-09T13:27:46Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > Of course, if it is your wifi transceiver itself that has burst into flames, the device will not be able to notify you, or anyone, no matter how loud the smoke detector screams. Sure. And if the nightlight itself bursts into flames, you’re doubly screwed. But I reject the **OP** ’s Ludditistic implication that this is an inherently useless device. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2015, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/18 "2015-09-09T13:39:34Z")
So you design the device to automatically send an “everything’s OK” signal every five seconds. If the app doesn’t get that signal for 15 seconds, it assumes something’s wrong. ---
**Author:** ![TheSeaOtter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ed655f/32.png) [@TheSeaOtter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheSeaOtter)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2015, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carlins-law-the-2015-corollary/730300/19 "2015-09-09T15:48:57Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > So you design the device to automatically send an “everything’s OK” signal every five seconds. If the app doesn’t get that signal for 15 seconds, it assumes something’s wrong. The problem is that 90% of the time, the thing that’s wrong is that your ISP has a regional monopoly and thus no incentive to provide reliable service, and your internet crapped out again. Which is a problem, but not the same kind of problem as your house being on fire.