# Carnac the Magnificent game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 29, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180 "2004-03-29T22:44:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/1 "2004-03-29T22:44:05Z")
If you’ve seen Johnny Carson, you know how to play. Carnac holds a sealed envelope to his forehead, and listens to the spirit world for a response. He states the response, and then opens the envelope to reveal the question. Here’s an example… Carnac: They’ve all moved to India. Envelope: What happened to Bush’s 2 million new jobs? Say what the envelope contains for the post above yours, and then offer a Carnac for the next poster. Okay, ready? First envelope, please… Carnac: I’ll take Manhattan. ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/2 "2004-03-29T23:04:40Z")
Q: What did Donald Trump say when told he could retire to his own private island? Next A: The Christian Science Monitor ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2004, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/3 "2004-03-29T23:16:05Z")
Envelope: The guy who supervises the monastery laboratory. ```auto Carnac: The Straight Dope. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/4 "2004-03-30T00:32:03Z")
> [@meek](#): > > Envelope: The guy who supervises the monastery laboratory. > > ```auto > > Carnac: The Straight Dope. > > ``` Post-cokehead George Bush Next: The Sun Also Rises ---
**Author:** ![ChordedZither](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9c0ed/32.png) [@ChordedZither](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChordedZither)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/5 "2004-03-30T00:49:06Z")
What happens after your daughter-in-law wakes up? Carnac: Four-score and twenty years ago ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/6 "2004-03-30T01:10:01Z")
Q: What is the age of the next poster’s sex partner? A: Mary Poppins, Dolly Parton, and Cheech Marin. ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/7 "2004-03-30T03:00:00Z")
Q: Who will be performing at next year’s Superbowl halftime show? (Mrs. Lagomorph would like a word with you **racer72** ) A: Heinz 52 varieties. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/8 "2004-03-30T03:24:54Z")
> [@Laughing Lagomorph](#): > > A: Heinz 52 varieties. What was the title of the unsuccessful Ketchup Kama Sutra. A : Albert Einstein and J. Lo. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/9 "2004-03-30T05:38:35Z")
> [@Eutychus](#): > > What was the title of the unsuccessful Ketchup Kama Sutra. > > A : Albert Einstein and J. Lo. Q: What’s the only couple weirder than Ben and J. Lo. * * * A: Pepsi, Coke, RC. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/10 "2004-03-30T11:01:49Z")
Envelope: What are three forms of water pollution? Carnac: Weapons of mass destruction. ---
**Author:** ![meek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce73a5/32.png) [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/11 "2004-03-30T12:01:14Z")
Envelope: What does the National Hockey League call Todd Bertuzzi’s fists? Carnac: The King of Queens. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/12 "2004-03-30T12:49:10Z")
Q. Who was recently arrested for attacking someone at the airport? Next answer. Carnac: The higher, the fewer. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/13 "2004-03-30T13:16:16Z")
> [@Steelerphan](#): > > Q. Who was recently arrested for attacking someone at the airport? > > Next answer. > > Carnac: The higher, the fewer. Which answer makes the least sense? ---------------------------next answer------------------------- Carnac: 99 bottles of beer on the wall. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/14 "2004-03-30T13:42:25Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > Carnac: 99 bottles of beer on the wall. What does Diana Ross leave behind when she goes for a drive? Next one: Four monkeys and a bungee cord. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/15 "2004-03-30T13:44:19Z")
> [@Uncommon Sense](#): > > Which answer makes the least sense? > > ---------------------------next answer------------------------- > > Carnac: 99 bottles of beer on the wall. What does Mickey Rourke call a night cap? Chitty-chitty bang bang. ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/16 "2004-03-30T14:30:42Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > Chitty-chitty bang bang. Answer: What happens when you put firecrakers in the toilet? Carnac: Seven wonders of the modern world ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/17 "2004-03-30T14:58:23Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > What does Mickey Rourke call a night cap? > > Chitty-chitty bang bang. What runs through a gay guy’s mind when he sees sexy twins walking in front of him? [sorry for self-replying] > [@Dragwyr](#): > > Carnac: Seven wonders of the modern world How does Whitney Houston refer to her last crack-free week? Carnac: Superbowl. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/18 "2004-03-30T15:28:04Z")
> [@](#): > > Carnac: Superbowl. Where’s the best place to see boobage action on network television? * * * Envelope: You’re fired. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/19 "2004-03-30T15:44:38Z")
Envelope: What was the message in GWBs last birthday card to Richard Clarke? Carnac: What goes up, must come down. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/20 "2004-03-30T15:54:02Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > Envelope: What was the message in GWBs last birthday card to Richard Clarke? > > Carnac: What goes up, must come down. Envelope: Why do Pfizer’s sales of Viagra keep improving? Carnac: The Curse of the Mummy [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180.md?page=2)