# Carnac the Magnificent game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 29, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180 "2004-03-29T22:44:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/21 "2004-03-30T16:19:35Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > Envelope: Why do Pfizer’s sales of Viagra keep improving? > > Carnac: The Curse of the Mummy ## Question: What Daddy hears after a long night of boozing. Carnac: I’m going to Disneyland! ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/22 "2004-03-30T16:29:56Z")
Envelope: What did Michael Eisner _not_ say after his last board meeting? Carnac: _Some Like It Hot_. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/23 "2004-03-30T17:17:49Z")
Why do they sell chili peppers in adult novelty stores? * * * A: Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting! ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/24 "2004-03-30T17:28:34Z")
Q: When you get past the religeous/spiritual overtones of The Matrix, what is the movie really all about? A: I fought the law and the law won. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/25 "2004-03-30T17:31:17Z")
A: Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting! Q: Why were Chinese discos so dangerous? * * * Envelope: Bill Clinton, Linda Bloodworth-Thomason, and Billy Carter ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/26 "2004-03-30T19:20:00Z")
> [@Bruce\_Daddy](#): > > A: I fought the law and the law won. Q: Zsa Zsa Gabor’s least favorite song. * * * Envelope: Bill Clinton, Linda Bloodworth-Thomason, and Billy Carter ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/27 "2004-03-30T20:25:40Z")
Just to get the kink out of the chain, what you offer up is Carnac prognosticating an answer. The question is in the envelope. 🙂 > [@](#): > > Bill Clinton, Linda Bloodworth-Thomason, and Billy Carter Envelope: Name 3 people Fred Phelps hates. (Extra credit for Jesus Christ.) ============= Carnac: I can’t do it all by myself. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/28 "2004-03-30T20:42:14Z")
> [@Libertarian](#): > > Carnac: I can’t do it all by myself. What line does Pee Wee Herman use to get dates? ========================= Carnac: Smile when you say that, son. ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/29 "2004-03-30T20:50:18Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Carnac: Smile when you say that, son. Envelope: Bush Sr. over WMD’s Carnac: That’s the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it, uh huh, uh huh. ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/30 "2004-03-30T21:27:01Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > Envelope: Bush Sr. over WMD’s > > Carnac: That’s the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it, uh huh, uh huh. Envelope: What did Bill Clinton say to Monica Lewinsky? * * * Carnac: ZZ Top and Mel Gibson ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2004, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/31 "2004-03-30T23:50:12Z")
Envelope: Who are some big fans of men in long white beards? _Ed chuckles – or was that a groan?_ Carnac: Follow the yellow brick road. ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/32 "2004-03-31T00:13:36Z")
> [@Interrobang!?](#): > > Carnac: Follow the yellow brick road. Envelope:How do I find a Munchkin on a rope? [Yikes. That was sort of tasteless and urban-legendy. Sorry 'bout that.] * * * Carnac: Sis Boom Bah. [This one was an actual Carnac joke. Let’s see if anyone else remembers the punchline.] ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/33 "2004-03-31T01:11:43Z")
> [@Saltire](#): > > Carnac: Sis Boom Bah. [This one was an actual Carnac joke. Let’s see if anyone else remembers the punchline.] What sound does an exploding sheep make? 280Z (another actual Carnac joke) ---
**Author:** ![The\_world\_s\_most\_deadliest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@The\_world\_s\_most\_deadliest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_world_s_most_deadliest)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/34 "2004-03-31T03:39:59Z")
How much will I have to drink before my date looks attractive? (I’m sure its not the original Carnac punchline, but it’ll have to do) * * * A standing ovation, and a check for $2.00. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/35 "2004-03-31T11:30:05Z")
> [@The world's most deadliest...](#): > > How much will I have to drink before my date looks attractive? > > (I’m sure its not the original Carnac punchline, but it’ll have to do) > > * * * > > A standing ovation, and a check for $2.00. Carnac:What did Dennis Kucinich receive at his last political fundraiser? Envelope:Meatloaf on a unicycle. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/36 "2004-03-31T12:02:25Z")
Envelope: What do you get when the Bat out of Hell is too old to fly? Carnac: Don’t be a jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/37 "2004-03-31T16:50:33Z")
Envelope: What career advice did the soda vendor offer to his son? Carnac: Life as we know it. ---
**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/38 "2004-03-31T17:06:48Z")
Envelope: What are most politicians out of touch with? Carnac: Hitler on crack. HA! Make that funny! ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/39 "2004-03-31T17:10:09Z")
> [@Lando Griffin](#): > > Envelope: What are most politicians out of touch with? > > Carnac: Hitler on crack. HA! Make that funny! Evelope: Who does Mr. Bean bear a striking resemblance to? – Carnac: The End of the World As We Know It. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/40 "2004-03-31T17:58:34Z")
Envelope: What happens on April 21? (cf. new SDMB membership agreement) Carnac: Ann Coulter and Al Franken. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180.md?page=3)