# Carnac the Magnificent game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 29, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180 "2004-03-29T22:44:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/81 "2004-04-03T11:46:59Z")
Envelope: What did George Costanza’s date shriek in the hot tub? Carnac: Too sexy for my shirt. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/82 "2004-04-03T13:54:51Z")
> [@Libertarian](#): > > Carnac: Too sexy for my shirt. Envelope: What does Janet Jackson apparently consider herself? – Carnac: A little dab’ll do ya. ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2004, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/83 "2004-04-03T15:17:57Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > Carnac: A little dab’ll do ya. Envelope: What is Enrique Iglesias’ favourite motto? Carnac: Meat and two veg. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/84 "2004-04-05T13:20:26Z")
> [@nocturnal\_tick](#): > > Carnac: Meat and two veg. Envelope: What did Jeffrey Dahmer call the stomach of a young PETA activist? Carnac: That’s the last straw. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/85 "2004-04-05T13:29:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Carnac: That’s the last straw. Envelope: What McDonald’s Crew Member said right before a small riot broke out at the beverage counter. Carnac: We try harder. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/86 "2004-04-05T13:41:25Z")
> [@JuanitaTech](#): > > Carnac: We try harder. Envelope: What is Cialis’ newest ad campaign? – Carnac: Two steps north of the Mason Dixon line. ---
**Author:** ![Klytus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Klytus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klytus)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/87 "2004-04-05T13:56:22Z")
> [@TellMeI'mNotCrazy](#): > > Carnac: Two steps north of the Mason Dixon line. Answer: How far North must one live to be considered a God-Damned Yankee? Carnac: Good Year, GW Bush, and Bonzo ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/88 "2004-04-05T17:03:34Z")
Envelope: What will it have been when which current office-holder is replaced by whom? Carnac: A 1920’s-style Death Ray. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/89 "2004-04-05T17:10:04Z")
Envelope: What a 1920s-style alien would use to obliterate the Earth. Carnac: Get more from life. ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/90 "2004-04-05T17:18:50Z")
> [@](#): > > Carnac: Get more from life. Envelope: What will you do now that they’ve increased the size of cereal boxes? Carnac: Four legs good, two legs bad. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/91 "2004-04-05T17:34:33Z")
> [@Interrobang!?](#): > > Carnac: Four legs good, two legs bad. Envelope: What sensible guideline should your butcher follow? Carnac: A passel of turnips. ---
**Author:** ![Okaybear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9fc348/32.png) [@Okaybear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Okaybear)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/92 "2004-04-06T00:50:14Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Envelope: What sensible guideline should your butcher follow? > Carnac: A passel of turnips. Envelope: What should you NOT serve the child who will eventually decide whether you go into the “good” nursing home or the “bad” nursing home? Carnac: Mountains out of molehills. ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/93 "2004-04-06T01:33:26Z")
> [@Okaybear](#): > > Mountains out of molehills. What is Britney Spears’s plastic surgeon suspected of making? Envelope: John Paul II, Lifebuoy, and Keanu Reeves. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/94 "2004-04-06T02:13:30Z")
A pope,.a soap, and a dope. Envelope: It smells like cabbage. ---
**Author:** ![5\_time\_champ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/278dde/32.png) [@5\_time\_champ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5_time_champ)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/95 "2004-04-06T02:13:32Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > What is Britney Spears’s plastic surgeon suspected of making? > > Envelope: John Paul II, Lifebuoy, and Keanu Reeves. Name a pope, a soap and a dope. Carnac: Bilbo Baggins ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/96 "2004-04-06T05:09:18Z")
Just popping in to say that the question to the answer (original Carnac) Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition was originally “What should you do if you discover that you’ve swallowed a live hand grenade?” Now back you your regular program. The choices are: Carnac: Bilbo Baggins or Envelope: It smells like cabbage. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/97 "2004-04-06T15:52:07Z")
Answering “Envelope [read:Carnac]: It smells like cabbage.”: Envelope: When you have a mole, under what condition should you visit the doctor? Carnac: Allen, Paar, Bishop, and Griffith. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/98 "2004-04-06T16:42:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Carnac: Allen, Paar, Bishop, and Griffith. Envelope: Who were the original Pretenders? Carnac: Once in a lifetime. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/99 "2004-04-06T17:51:04Z")
Envelope: How often should one expect to correct **Cecil**? Carnac: In a pig’s ear. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/100 "2004-04-06T19:13:34Z")
> [@](#): > > Carnac: In a pig’s ear Envelope: If Mike Tyson had a craving for pork, where would you find his teeth? Carnac: It’s the thought that counts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180.md?page=6)