# Carnac the Magnificent game **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 29, 2004, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180 "2004-03-29T22:44:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/101 "2004-04-06T20:22:34Z")
> [@](#): > > Carnac: It’s the thought that counts. Envelope: Why sin is not only about the things you actually do. Carnac: Disconnect power before servicing. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/102 "2004-04-06T21:01:08Z")
> [@](#): > > Carnac: Disconnect power before servicing. Envelope: What the tag on Anna Nicole Smith’s, er, personal massage device reads. Carnac: For external use only. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/103 "2004-04-06T21:24:46Z")
> [@JuanitaTech](#): > > Envelope: What the tag on Anna Nicole Smith’s, er, personal massage device reads. > > Carnac: For external use only. ## Envelope: What the tag on Anna Nicole Smith’s, er, personal massage device \*doesn’t \* read. Carnac: Easier said than done. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/104 "2004-04-06T22:42:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Carnac: Easier said than done. Envelope: What follows “I have to take that ring _where_?” Carnac: George Bush, George W. Bush, and J. Fred Muggs. ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2004, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/105 "2004-04-06T23:32:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Carnac: George Bush, George W. Bush, and J. Fred Muggs. Envelope: Dumb and dumberer and dumberest. Carnac: Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/106 "2004-04-07T05:45:40Z")
Envelope: What is J. Lo. going to do now, after Gigli? Carnac: Peas in a pod. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/107 "2004-04-07T15:24:57Z")
Envelope: What does an astronaut in the space station do? (Carnac often get silence.) Carnac: Twenty-four and seven. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/108 "2004-04-07T15:32:49Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > Envelope: What does an astronaut in the space station do? > > (Carnac often get silence.) > > Carnac: Twenty-four and seven. Envelope: What are the IQs of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, respectively? – Carnac: 100% Pure Beef ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/109 "2004-04-07T19:27:49Z")
Aside to **Interrobang!?** : “A wimp, a simp, and a chimp” was too obvoius? 😃 > [@](#): > > Carnac: 100% Pure Beef Envelope: Describe Evan Marriott in seven syllables. Carnac: Halfway between LA and Vegas. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/110 "2004-04-07T21:04:07Z")
Envelope: How far did Brittney Spears’ mom’s scream travel? Carnac: The Odd Couple ---
**Author:** ![ChordedZither](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9c0ed/32.png) [@ChordedZither](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChordedZither)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/111 "2004-04-07T21:18:19Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Envelope: How far did Brittney Spears’ mom’s scream travel? > Carnac: The Odd Couple Envelope: What did the train crew use to hitch car 5 to car 7? Carnac: The Green, Green Hills of Home ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Happy\_to\_Be\_Here](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b3f665/32.png) [@Just\_Happy\_to\_Be\_Here](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Happy_to_Be_Here)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/112 "2004-04-07T21:52:03Z")
Envelope: How does Paris Hilton refer to all those stacks of her daddy’s cash? Carnac: USC, BYU, UCLA ---
**Author:** ![The\_Llama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a698b9/32.png) [@The\_Llama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Llama)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/113 "2004-04-07T22:07:36Z")
> [@Just Happy to Be Here](#): > > Envelope: How does Paris Hilton refer to all those stacks of her daddy’s cash? > > Carnac: USC, BYU, UCLA How do you spell Uscbyuucla Carnac: The Mona Lisa ---
**Author:** ![ChordedZither](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9c0ed/32.png) [@ChordedZither](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChordedZither)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/114 "2004-04-08T02:44:23Z")
> [@The\_Llama](#): > > How do you spell Uscbyuucla > > Carnac: The Mona Lisa Envelope: Name the sister of Mona Bart and Mona Maggie. Carnac: Ham and Swiss on Rye ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/115 "2004-04-08T02:56:59Z")
> [@ChordedZither](#): > > Ham and Swiss on Rye What kind of sandwich would a cannibal make if he caught and cooked a bad actor and a tourist from Zurich? Envelope: Some Enchanted Evening ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/116 "2004-04-08T16:03:03Z")
Envelope: When will Frodo get laid? May a diseased yak date your sister! Carnac: If you build it, they will come. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/117 "2004-04-08T16:17:44Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > Envelope: When will Frodo get laid? > > May a diseased yak date your sister! > > Carnac: If you build it, they will come. Envelope: What did the porn-megaplex developer hear? – [I was going to mention that we really needed some Carnac insults in here as well!] May a bulimic monkey fall in love with your head. – Carnac: I don’t know, I was really drunk at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Happy\_to\_Be\_Here](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b3f665/32.png) [@Just\_Happy\_to\_Be\_Here](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Happy_to_Be_Here)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/118 "2004-04-08T16:52:12Z")
Envelope: Mr. Selig, how’d you come up with Major League Baseball’s current drug testing program? Carncac: Less filling, tastes great. ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/119 "2004-04-08T18:08:40Z")
> [@Just Happy To Be Here](#): > > Carncac: Less filling, tastes great. Envelope: What was Monica Lewinsky’s testimony on her new job as Dubya’s PA? Carnac: Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Happy\_to\_Be\_Here](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b3f665/32.png) [@Just\_Happy\_to\_Be\_Here](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Happy_to_Be_Here)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180/120 "2004-04-08T18:45:52Z")
Envelope: What was Howard Dean’s Campaign slogan? * * * May you get everything you ever wished for, lodged in your wind pipe. * * * Carnac: Wilson, Gov. Grey Davis, 1st Lt. George W. Bush [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/carnac-the-magnificent-game/237180.md?page=7)