# Case files? We don't need no stinking case files! (Gitmo related) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 26, 2009, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097 "2009-01-26T19:11:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/181 "2009-01-29T17:03:17Z")
> [@Sublight](#): > > Nope, we’ve had that kind of troll already. Called himself **Beryl Mooncalf** if I recall. > > Try harder. > [@jayjay](#): > > Was that the Engelbert Humperdink fanatic? No, no, you’re thinking of **deeward**. I can’t remember **Beryl Mooncalf** ’s schtick. Refresh our memory, **Sublight**. Dude, you’ve GOT to be a troll, right? This is pathetic. But on the chance it’s not… > [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > OK, here’s a mini-meltdown just for you by request, Guin. While you were up posting to the SDMB in the middle of the night last night, I was asleep in a bed that cost more than your car, in a house it would take you three lifetimes to afford, next to a beautiful woman who loves me and close to a baby who loves to spit up on me. > > Right now I’m on my way to an office where people trust me and rely on me to provide good advice. They appreciate the time I spend on their matters because they know I have lots of other stuff going on, too. Every day I have a new and interesting problem to solve, and I learn more and become better at my job. > > All of this is a direct result of my life philosophy, which involves taking responsibility for outcomes in my life and constantly working to improve myself. Meanwhile, you are probably still in bed dreaming up threads about the latest outrage or the mildly bad thing someone involved in the bush administration may have thought about doing. If you even go to work today, it will be at some boring and repetitive job where you could be replaced tomorrow if the powers that be chose. > > Hopefully it’s not too late for you to change, Guin. Go forth and read some Rand and commit the sin of wallowing in self-pity no more. 1.) I don’t have a car-in fact, I don’t even drive. I have epilepsy. 2.) I’ve read Rand, and I weep for all the trees that gave their lives for that bullshit. 3.) I have a decent job-that, more over, is pretty fun!-I have good friends, a loving family, AND my beloved Steelers are going to the Super Bowl!!! (Woo HOOO!!!) 4.) My dad is a mortician. AND I got to live over a funeral home when I was little. Dead bodies and ALL!!! Betcha can’t come up with any cooler home than that? 5.) Bully for you. :rolleyes: And where the hell did you get the idea I’m “wallowing in self-pity?” Other than being frustrated over my health right now, and worried about my cousin going to Iraq, things are pretty hunky-dory. But then, unlike SOME people, I don’t need lots of money to be happy. Crazy, I know. (Man, I pity his daughter…) ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/182 "2009-01-29T17:07:31Z")
I can just picture this guy singing “Kiss Me, I’m Shitfaced”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gam_Zeh_Yaavor)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/183 "2009-01-29T17:10:11Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > 1. I am very aware that I will grow old and die and be forgotten, which is why I am living it up while I still can instead of wallowing in self-pity and not taking responsibility for my life. Does all that expensive scotch give your life meaning? Or do you always need more and more stuff to convince yourself that you really are special? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/184 "2009-01-29T17:13:05Z")
He’s a big tax lawyer, Dwells in John Galt’s foyer, And he sneers at all he meets. Though he knows few maxims From a law school praxis, He hobnobs with all the elites. He buys high priced shirtings Condescends to mere Earthlings And Pit vitriol he will spew, 'Cause he keeps getting richer But he can’t get his picture On the cover of the Law Review. ---
**Author:** ![Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gam_Zeh_Yaavor)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/185 "2009-01-29T17:17:53Z")
Point taken. I’ll stop throwing goats under the bridge now. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/186 "2009-01-29T17:18:57Z")
You’re an atheist, right, **Rand**? If not, you probably should be. After all, you’ve nothing to lose. Nothing you haven’t already thrown away, at any rate. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/187 "2009-01-29T17:22:34Z")
Oh yeah? Well, I live in a hovel partially dug into the Long Meadow in Prospect Park and I eat the scraps the squirrels leave behind and all my children have Down’s Syndrom. I dress in old plastic Target bags and drink Thunderbird chased with Wild Irish Rose and a splash of Night Train and yet I make more convincing arguements than our friend and GED Lawyer, **Randy**. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/188 "2009-01-29T17:22:46Z")
And to think, I used to imagine there was a point in trying to talk to you. We’re a meritocracy here, sunshine, not a plutocracy. If your argument doesn’t hold water, you can’t buy a bucket. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/189 "2009-01-29T17:23:43Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Oh yeah? Well, I live in a hovel partially dug into the Long Meadow in Prospect Park and I eat the scraps the squirrels leave behind and all my children have Down’s Syndrom. I dress in old plastic Target bags and drink Thunderbird chased with Wild Irish Rose and a splash of Night Train and yet I make more convincing arguements than our friend and GED Lawyer, **Randy**. Mom? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/190 "2009-01-29T17:46:19Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Oh yeah? Well, I live in a hovel partially dug into the Long Meadow in Prospect Park and I eat the scraps the squirrels leave behind and all my children have Down’s Syndrom. I dress in old plastic Target bags and drink Thunderbird chased with Wild Irish Rose and a splash of Night Train and yet I make more convincing arguements than our friend and GED Lawyer, **Randy**. But tell the kids today that and they won’t believe you… ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/191 "2009-01-29T17:47:28Z")
BRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAPPPPP! (Please excuse my manners.) ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/192 "2009-01-29T17:50:59Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > You do realize I was being facetious to point out that anyone can claim to be Bill-Gates-rich on the internet, right? I know, it just amused me. I was thinking, “Hey, I can beat thaaat, my uncle sent me that mattress.” And then I said, “Eh, why not, I get to use one of my favorite poodle pics that wasn’t appropriate for the poodle thread.” (I call it The Sailing Elvis.) Then I just threw in the car pic to break Rand for good. To Bill Brasky! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/193 "2009-01-29T17:52:37Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > He’s a big tax lawyer, > Dwells in John Galt’s foyer, > And he sneers at all he meets. > Though he knows few maxims > From a law school praxis, > He hobnobs with all the elites. > He buys high priced shirtings > Condescends to mere Earthlings > And Pit vitriol he will spew, > 'Cause he keeps getting richer > But he can’t get his picture > On the cover of the Law Review. **Poly** , you’ve got a future in SnarkMusic!🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/194 "2009-01-29T17:58:13Z")
To recap: 1. America has been kidnapping people and holding them against their will with little or no evidence for the past several years, all the while torturing them and such like. 2. Rand takes offense to the idea that “comprehensive case files” don’t exist, since no one even knows what a “comprehensive case file” is, and it’s most likely a vast liberal conspiracy 3. Repeat step 1 4. Repeat step 2 Now: Rand could buy everyone at Gitmo a pony, if he felt like it . . . Seriously, what the fuck? ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/195 "2009-01-29T18:13:57Z")
No idea. Frankly, if you want a trial, one of the clear things you have to do is maintain chain of custody of just about _everything_ involved. I know that much. (Oh, and just to clarify above: Everything I said was strictly true, I didn’t lie. But it’s very tongue in cheek. It’s just that the mattress thing amused me, and then I went… hey, yeah, this fits, and that fits.) ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/196 "2009-01-29T18:14:00Z")
He’s just testy because his Ponzi scheme investments are falling apart. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/197 "2009-01-29T18:31:54Z")
> [@ZebraShaSha](#): > > To recap: > > 1. America has been kidnapping people and holding them against their will with little or no evidence for the past several years, all the while torturing them and such like. > > 2. Rand takes offense to the idea that “comprehensive case files” don’t exist, since no one even knows what a “comprehensive case file” is, and it’s most likely a vast liberal conspiracy > > 3. Repeat step 1 > > 4. Repeat step 2 > > Now: Rand could buy everyone at Gitmo a pony, if he felt like it > . > . > . > > Seriously, what the fuck? Between 4 and now is: 1. Everyone calls Rand a troll and treats him like a Bush apologist for having the temerity to take a position that is not 100 percent pro-detainee and anti-bush. 2. People respond to Rand’s posts while obviously not attempting to understand the argument. 3. Guin requests a meltdown, so Rand decides to provide one. 4. Rand gets better and calm is restored. Oh wait . . . It’s back bitches! 1. I’m currently eating a burrito the likes of which you liberal hippy douche peons can only DREAM! ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/198 "2009-01-29T18:36:36Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > (Oh, and just to clarify above: Everything I said was strictly true, I didn’t lie. But it’s very tongue in cheek. It’s just that the mattress thing amused me, and then I went… hey, yeah, this fits, and that fits.) 1. Aw, your so cute when you’re embarrassed. 2. My boat called and told me to tell you to tell your car to suck it. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/199 "2009-01-29T18:46:00Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > 1. I’m currently eating a burrito the likes of which you liberal hippy douche peons can only DREAM! Diamonds wrapped in a duchesse satin tortilla? ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/200 "2009-01-29T18:49:45Z")
Right. I have more money than Bill Gates, and I spend more on solid gold nose-hair pickers than you will earn in your entire life. My Nobel prize in physics shares bookshelf space with my Oscar and Emmy. My Golden Globe is kept in a box in the attic. My supermodel wife dotes on me, and the underlings at my company recognize my amazingness by working for free. My massive internet penis has its own zip code. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097.md?page=11)