# Case files? We don't need no stinking case files! (Gitmo related) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 26, 2009, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097 "2009-01-26T19:11:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/61 "2009-01-27T17:08:21Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Make him a thrull. Those never got any love after Fallen Empires. > > Seriously, Rand, are you even going to attempt to answer anyone in this thread? Many people made efforts at responding in this thread to you, so the least you can do is respond with the same thoughtfulness. > No, on second thought, I guess the least you can do is exactly what you’re doing. My plan is to respond to individual posts tonight when i get home and can quote more easily. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/62 "2009-01-27T17:21:19Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Well this is another fine kettle of turds. Are any of these guys guilty of _anything_? They must be, I keep assuring myself, it can’t be a complete and utter…oh, who am I kidding, of course it could. > > No files? No chain of custody for evidence? Hell, no _evidence_? Even for that number who are guilty as all git-out, a ten year old boy who’s watched a full season of _Boston Legal_ could make the prosecution’s case look like road kill surprise. > > Could they _possibly_ fuck this up more than they have? To listen to one of my friends, they are all “the worst of the worst”…otherwise, _they wouldn’t be in Gitmo!!_☹ Bless his pointed little head. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/63 "2009-01-27T17:27:15Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Make him a thrull. Those never got any love after Fallen Empires. > > Seriously, Rand, are you even going to attempt to answer anyone in this thread? Many people made efforts at responding in this thread to you, so the least you can do is respond with the same thoughtfulness. > No, on second thought, I guess the least you can do is exactly what you’re doing. And probably the **most** he can do as well. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/64 "2009-01-27T17:31:35Z")
I imagine there might be lots of “evidence” present after the intensive interrogations… \ I: “Are you a terrorist?” \ T: "yes, yes, I am a terrorist! I am Osama’s love monkey! I blow up everything! " I: “Have you seen this man before?” T: “No” I: “you must not have heard me. Have you seen this man before?” \ T: “yes, yes, I have seen him many times, all the time I see him!” I: “where have you seen him?” T: \"… in… a training camp?.." I: “Good!” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/65 "2009-01-27T17:43:49Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > I: “Have you seen this man before?” > > T: “No” > > I: “you must not have heard me. Have you seen this man before?” > \ > > T: “yes, yes, I have seen him many times, all the time I see him!” > > I: “where have you seen him?” > > T: \“… in… a training camp?..” > > I: “Good!” [Funny you should mention:](http://www.thestar.com/News/World/article/574190) > [@](#): > > An FBI agent’s claim that Omar Khadr had seen Maher Arar at terrorist “safe houses” in Afghanistan was severely undermined today when a military court was told that Arar was in North America during the time in question. > > FBI Special Agent Robert Fuller testified Monday that Khadr said he recognized a photo of Arar during an October 2002 interrogation. > > Under questioning Tuesday, Fuller said Khadr saw Arar in Afghanistan during late September or October 2001. > > A Canadian judicial inquiry determined in 2006 that Arar was working in San Diego on a business trip on the day of the 9/11 terror attacks — and back in Canada in October. In fact, Arar first drew the interest of the RCMP when he met another man they were watching in an Ottawa cafe Oct. 12, 2001. […] > > Navy Lt.-Cmdr. Billl Kuebler, Khadr’s Pentagon-appointed lawyer said Tuesday outside court that Khadr, who was 15 and gravely injured when he arrived at the U.S. base in Bagram, would have “confessed to seeing the Pope,” to make his interrogations stop. (emphasis mine) ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/66 "2009-01-27T17:49:47Z")
Calling all cars! Calling all cars! Be on the lookout for “Poop” Benedict AKA “His Holiness”. Subject is a known Muslim extremist. Last seen in Rome, wearing a very stupid hat… Frequently in the company of burkha-wearing female radicals armed with rulers, protect your knuckles at all times! ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/67 "2009-01-27T18:12:58Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > And probably the **most** he can do as well. Keep sniping from the sidelines tough guy. My posts in this thread demonstrate more capability than do your obvious and asinine insults. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/68 "2009-01-27T18:19:34Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Keep sniping from the sidelines tough guy. My posts in this thread demonstrate more capability than do your obvious and asinine insults. No, really they don’t.[/snipe\_from\_sidelines] ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/69 "2009-01-27T18:25:05Z")
I can well imagine a scene from **Rand Rover’s** workplace…… \ Big Boss: “Rover, get me the case files for the Benson tax Account. I have a meeting with him this afternoon.” Rand Rover: “Uh sure.” \ BB: “what’s this?” RR: “The information you wanted. It’s on a couple of databases.” BB: “I said I wanted the case file. You do know what a case file is don’t you?” RR: “Of course I do you fool. I am an important lawyer person who went to lawyer school. Did you expect a folder with paper documentation or something?” BB: “Actually, yes, I expected a comprehensive case file with the information organized in a coherent manner, not just a link to some databases.” RR: “Ah, now you’re changing the goalposts! You didn’t tell me you wanted a **comprehensive** case file!” BB: “You’re fired.” RR: “No I’m not.” \ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/70 "2009-01-27T18:46:54Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Calling all cars! Calling all cars! Be on the lookout for “Poop” Benedict AKA “His Holiness”. Subject is a known Muslim extremist. Last seen in Rome, wearing a very stupid hat… Frequently in the company of burkha-wearing female radicals armed with rulers, protect your knuckles at all times! May I please have this for a new sig? Pretty please? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/71 "2009-01-27T19:06:55Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > My posts in this thread demonstrate more capability than do your obvious and asinine insults. Not done pretending to be a lawyer, you’re now going to pretend to be intellectually competent? ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/72 "2009-01-27T19:20:08Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > Not done pretending to be a lawyer, you’re now going to pretend to be intellectually competent? Jeaousy is an ugly thing, man. You just be the best you you can be and don’t worry about your superiors. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/73 "2009-01-27T19:24:58Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > **Jeaousy** is an ugly thing, man. You just be the best **you you** can be and don’t worry about your superiors. Rock on with your bad self. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/74 "2009-01-27T19:31:23Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Jeaousy is an ugly thing, man. You just be the best you you can be and don’t worry about your superiors. Oh look! He’s got the standard, “Awww, y’all just jelusss!!!” How cute!!! ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/75 "2009-01-27T19:37:03Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > you’re now going to pretend to be intellectually competent? I think we should target the terrists with a _tax cut_. They’ll find that so stimulatin that they’ll probably write their own stinking case files! The gubmint shouldn be in the bidness of writing case files anyway. Let the free market handle it. That’s best, **YEAH!** ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/76 "2009-01-27T19:50:43Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > May I please have this for a new sig? Pretty please? But, of course. (Recovering Catholic, by any chance?) ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/77 "2009-01-27T21:53:56Z")
On large files one should not expect to have all the evidence, correspondence, notes, etc. in one place. What is important is that everything pertaining to the file can be easily found. Thus the key to running a large file is a database with competent people managing it. What I am curious about is whether or not such a database has been properly maintained, and whether or not people have been actively working on each of the various matters, or instead have simply let the mess go unattended (insert Chauncey the Gardner reference here). ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/78 "2009-01-27T22:45:58Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > On large files one should not expect to have all the evidence, correspondence, notes, etc. in one place. What is important is that everything pertaining to the file can be easily found. Thus the key to running a large file is a database with competent people managing it. > > What I am curious about is whether or not such a database has been properly maintained, and whether or not people have been actively working on each of the various matters, or instead have simply let the mess go unattended (insert Chauncey the Gardner reference here). Burn the witch! There must be a “comprehensive case file” or . . . something bad happens!!! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/79 "2009-01-27T22:47:39Z")
Here’s some Play-Doh. Make me an ashtray. Glue some macaroni to it. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/80 "2009-01-27T23:00:57Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > But, of course. (Recovering Catholic, by any chance?) I prefer lapsed, and/or non-practicing. If more churches were like [this one](http://www.christhope.com/), I’d probably go back. (The founder is a distant relative). Father Hausen was excumincated for starting his own church, after he was suspended for saying in his sermon that he was “pissed off” about the church’s actions regarding the whole molestation scandal, their policy on women and married priests, etc. **Rand Rover** , I always thought lawyers were big on, oh, I dunno, being organized? Huh. Remind me never to go to your firm. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097.md?page=5)