# Case files? We don't need no stinking case files! (Gitmo related) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 26, 2009, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097 "2009-01-26T19:11:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/81 "2009-01-27T23:01:09Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Oh look! He’s got the standard, “Awww, y’all just jelusss!!!” > > How cute!!! It may be trite and cliche, but sometimes its true. Now shouldn’t you be taking care of Hubby Rick, Mrs. Teasdale? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/82 "2009-01-27T23:03:36Z")
Are you SURE you’re a lawyer, **RR**? Because the REAL lawyers seem to be running rings around you… ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/83 "2009-01-27T23:20:49Z")
Evidently he went to Michael Brown Law School. I hear he’s doing a heck of a job running that thing. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/84 "2009-01-27T23:56:13Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Are you SURE you’re a lawyer, **RR**? Because the REAL lawyers seem to be running rings around you… Dude, the “you’re not a real lawyer” schtick got old months ago. All the cool kids are now on my ass for being a “Randian.” ---
**Author:** ![Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gam_Zeh_Yaavor)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/85 "2009-01-28T00:01:04Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Burn the witch! There must be a “comprehensive case file” or . . . something bad happens!!! Something bad like torturing innocent people to death? ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/86 "2009-01-28T00:24:03Z")
> [@Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](#): > > Something bad like torturing innocent people to death? Hey, dead or not, it’s not torture if you can get a justice department lawyer to _say_ it’s not torture, or so I’m told. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/87 "2009-01-28T00:26:40Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Calling all cars! Calling all cars! Be on the lookout for “Poop” Benedict AKA “His Holiness”. Subject is a known Muslim extremist. Last seen in Rome, wearing a very stupid hat… Frequently in the company of burkha-wearing female radicals armed with rulers, protect your knuckles at all times! You can recognize him by his Dorothy Over the Rainbow shoes… ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/88 "2009-01-28T00:30:50Z")
> [@Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](#): > > Something bad like torturing innocent people to death? Oh come on, that’s not so bad, is it ? Besides, that’s just proof Libertarians are right to think all gubmint is Eeeevil. Win-win ! ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/89 "2009-01-28T00:32:15Z")
> [@Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](#): > > Something bad like torturing innocent people to death? False dichotomy. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/90 "2009-01-28T00:38:56Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > It may be trite and cliche, but sometimes its true. Now shouldn’t you be taking care of Hubby Rick, Mrs. Teasdale? _pinches cheek_ Oooooh, you’re soooo cute when you try to be insulting, isn’t he boys and girls? **elucidator** , I tried to link your name to the post, but the stupid software told me it went over “five lines”. (Coding counts too?) ---
**Author:** ![Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gam_Zeh_Yaavor)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/91 "2009-01-28T01:37:44Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > False dichotomy. Actually, no it’s not; torture policy and the Guantanamo kangaroo courts are part and parcel of the pervasive disregard for human rights and the rule of law that for the last eight years have poisoned our collective soul. Regardless, I’ll take my false dichotomy over your true lobotomy any day, sport. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/92 "2009-01-28T02:02:06Z")
> [@Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](#): > > Actually, no it’s not; torture policy and the Guantanamo kangaroo courts are part and parcel of the pervasive disregard for human rights and the rule of law that for the last eight years have poisoned our collective soul. Uh, so you don’t know what a false dichotomy is. Not sure why you felt the need to display your ignorance for all and sundry, but whatever floats your boat. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/93 "2009-01-28T02:13:04Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > I have determined that there are very few attractive women in NYC. If anyone else reads this thread and disagrees with me then I’m sure you people that have already posted to this thread will defend that statement as the absolute truth. > > Dio, reading threads like this from you makes me sad. You can be smart and thorough in threads on other subjects, but given the opporÞunity to bash on the bush administration you let your prejudice cloud your judgment. Also, the first paragraph of the article is pure opinion and not fact–you can’t make a straight-faced argument to the contrary. Never mind the fact that the first paragraph is a complete non-sequitur: How dd you get a [thorn](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thorn_(letter)) into “opportunity” like that? ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/94 "2009-01-28T02:47:11Z")
> [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](#): > > Never mind the fact that the first paragraph is a complete non-sequitur: How dd you get a [thorn](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thorn_(letter)) into “opportunity” like that? How is the first paragraph a complete non-sequitur? If the writers of this article can say that not many detainees have comprehensive case files and have everyone here believe it, then why won’t everyone believe me when I say there are very few attractive women in NYC? Also, the thorn happens sometimes when I type on my blackberry. I’ve tried to get it to appear on purpose but can’t. ---
**Author:** ![Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gam_Zeh_Yaavor)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/95 "2009-01-28T02:48:37Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Uh, so you don’t know what a false dichotomy is. Not sure why you felt the need to display your ignorance for all and sundry, but whatever floats your boat. I prefer “whatever tickles your pickle,” myself. Let’s see how wikipedia defines false dichotomies, shall we? “The informal fallacy of false dilemma (also called false dichotomy, the either-or fallacy) involves a situation in which only two alternatives are considered, when in fact there are other options.” I suppose you think I’m saying that either we need valid legal proceedings at Guantanamo or people will be tortured to death. That wasn’t what I was saying, but even if it was, it would also be kinda true, albeit hyperbolic: the disregard for the rule of law can lead to horrible human rights abuses (cite: the last eight years). In any case, I thought you weren’t dunderheaded enough to realize that I was being somewhat facetious. But hey, clearly I misunderestimated you. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/96 "2009-01-28T03:03:40Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > I’m no lawyer, but I think “This guy is terrist” scratched on a post-it constitutes a weak case file. Typical librul ACLU claptrap. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/97 "2009-01-28T03:04:34Z")
> [@Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](#): > > I prefer “whatever tickles your pickle,” myself. Let’s see how wikipedia defines false dichotomies, shall we? > > “The informal fallacy of false dilemma (also called false dichotomy, the either-or fallacy) involves a situation in which only two alternatives are considered, when in fact there are other options.” > > I suppose you think I’m saying that either we need valid legal proceedings at Guantanamo or people will be tortured to death. That wasn’t what I was saying, but even if it was, it would also be kinda true, albeit hyperbolic: the disregard for the rule of law can lead to horrible human rights abuses (cite: the last eight years). In any case, I thought you weren’t dunderheaded enough to realize that I was being somewhat facetious. But hey, clearly I misunderestimated you. Oh, so now it’s the “I was just joking” defense. If you really were, then sorry for jumping on your case (including in the sentence immediately preceding this one). However, your post was close enough to the retardedness that others here post and mean without joking that I don’t feel bad for taking you seriously. ETA: I’m definitely stealing “whatever tickles your pickle”–thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/98 "2009-01-28T03:14:16Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Also, the thorn happens sometimes when I type on my blackberry. I’ve tried to get it to appear on purpose but can’t. Depending on which model Blackberry you have, either: 1. Press and hold a likely key (e.g. t for thorn) and then while still holding the key down, scroll left or right with the trackball; or 2. Tap but do not click a likely key, and keep your finger on it until an accent menu appears. ---
**Author:** ![Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@Gam\_Zeh\_Yaavor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gam_Zeh_Yaavor)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/99 "2009-01-28T03:16:41Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Oh, so now it’s the “I was just joking” defense. If you really were, then sorry for jumping on your case (including in the sentence immediately preceding this one). However, your post was close enough to the retardedness that others here post and mean without joking that I don’t feel bad for taking you seriously. > > ETA: I’m definitely stealing “whatever tickles your pickle”–thanks. Well, I was “joking” in that I don’t literally think that the horrific miscarriages of justice at Guantanamo directly lead to people being tortured to death. I think it’s undeniable however that both colossal clusterfucks are facets of the same set of criminal policies: when you do not respect human rights and the rule of law, you do horrible shit. If you don’t understand that, then I’m afraid Aesop’s old adage applies to me as well as you: _Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics: even if you win, you’re still retarded._ ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097/100 "2009-01-28T03:27:19Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > How is the first paragraph a complete non-sequitur? If the writers of this article can say that not many detainees have comprehensive case files and have everyone here believe it, then why won’t everyone believe me when I say there are very few attractive women in NYC? Those writers have actual evidence, is the thing. Do you think that every single media outlet in the country is composed of liberals who will do anything to make the Republican Party and every member of it look bad? News flash: nobody has to exert any effort to make those chumps look like they couldn’t find a detainee’s ass with a smoking gun. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/case-files-we-dont-need-no-stinking-case-files-gitmo-related/483097.md?page=6)