# Casey Kasem Requests You Probably WON'T Hear **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 2, 2010, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400 "2010-02-02T16:44:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2010, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/1 "2010-02-02T16:44:41Z")
After link surfing some YouTube videos listed in another thread ([http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDYK2H0ldbo](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDYK2H0ldbo)) , I spotted this post: "Dear Casey: “I wonder if you could play a song dedicated to the memory of my wonderful boyfriend. He died last week when he was thrown from a vehicle at 80 miles per hour and he was impaled on a steel rod from a street sign directly up his rectum and basically torn in half. I wonder if you could play the Carpenter’s On Top of the World? Thank you.” So in the spirit of the sick and twisted, what other requests for songs would you probably not (but would laugh yourself silly) hear? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/2 "2010-02-02T17:15:44Z")
"Dear Casey: My wife is battling a reoccurence of her cancer. Of course I’m heartbroken, but I recently met a wonderful woman who’s taught me how to love again. Would you please play ‘Having My Baby’ and dedicate it from John to Rielle. “While you’re at it, could you also play “Bille Jean” and dedicate it from John to Elizabeth.” ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2010, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/3 "2010-02-02T17:24:49Z")
Dear Casey: Hi, it’s Tiger. Ok, this is going to be a long letter… ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/4 "2010-02-02T17:26:51Z")
"Dear Casey: I am a celebrity, so I must remain anonymous. The media has accused me of having an affair behind my wife’s back while I was away on business. Nothing could be further from the truth. Would you please play “It Wasn’t Me” and dedicate it to my wife? Thank you." ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2010, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/5 "2010-02-02T18:23:42Z")
“I’m a southern governor trying to fix things up with my wife. I’d appreciate it if you played ‘Brazil’ to show her I’m thinking of my soul mate.” ---
**Author:** ![BigBertha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d78d45/32.png) [@BigBertha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigBertha)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/6 "2010-02-02T18:51:09Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > "Dear Casey: My wife is battling a reoccurence of her cancer. Of course I’m heartbroken, but I recently met a wonderful woman who’s taught me how to love again. Would you please play ‘Having My Baby’ and dedicate it from John to Rielle. > > “While you’re at it, could you also play “Bille Jean” and dedicate it from John to Elizabeth.” brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2010, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/7 "2010-02-02T19:19:53Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > “I’m a southern governor trying to fix things up with my wife. I’d appreciate it if you played ‘Brazil’ to show her I’m thinking of my soul mate.” Actually, “Don’t Cry for Me, Agentina” would be the song for Mark Sanford’s mistress. (Or is there another Southern gov-Latina scandal about to break that we don’t know about?) ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2010, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/8 "2010-02-02T23:16:16Z")
“Dear Casey, Recently my 5-year-old daughter’s Lab puppy was chasing a stick she had thrown, and ran out into the street where she was squished like a bug under the tires my Hummer. Stupid dog! Anyways, could you see it in your heart to play Dead Puppies Aren’t Much Fun to little Brittney from Daddy?” ---
**Author:** ![statij](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c2a13f/32.png) [@statij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statij)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2010, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/9 "2010-02-02T23:39:29Z")
Dear Casey, My wife got a sex change, then he decided he wanted to be a woman again. Then she changed her mind again, went back to a man, changed his mind once more, and is now finally a woman again. Could you please play Three Times a Lady by The Commodores for me?" ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2010, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/10 "2010-02-03T00:27:44Z")
Dear Casey, Back on June 3rd last year, while out chopping cotton, I found out from my mother that my good friend Billie Joe had died. I knew Billie from Choctaw Ridge, a neighboring town. He used to do silly kid’s stuff, like once he put a frog down my back at the Carroll County picture show. But we were friends just the same. Anyway, as it turns out he died by throwing himself off the Tallahatchee Bridge. I still miss him a great deal, and occasionally find myself on that bridge dropping flowers into it. In honor of his death, could you please play “Money, Cash, Hoes” by Jay-Z featuring DMX? ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2010, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/11 "2010-02-03T06:45:40Z")
Dear Mr Kasem, I would very much like to hear “Ahab the Arab”. Offensive to Arab-Americans? Yes, I can see how some might be annoyed by it, and I know you are well-known for battling anti-Arab discrimination, but it was just a fun song and no malice was meant by it. Also I think playing it would prove that Arabs have a sense of humor and can laugh at themselves. My address? Why do you need that? Oh, a prize for the most sensitive request, great! Yes, I will be home for the next hour or so. Really? Someone is going to deliver my prize in person? And it is an IED? What is that? Oh, sure, I love surprises! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2010, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/12 "2010-02-03T07:10:54Z")
Dear Casey, On a recent cross-country flight, I had to put my six-month-old baby in the overhead bin so I could get some work done on my laptop. After we landed, in the confusion, I forgot to get him and now the airline says they can’t find him. Would you play “Carry on My Wayward Son” by Kansas for me? Thanks. Yeah, I stole it from _Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me…_, so? ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2010, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/13 "2010-02-03T13:30:37Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Dear Casey: > > Hi, it’s Tiger. Ok, this is going to be a long letter… Strangely enough, the one to Penthouse started the same way. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2010, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/14 "2010-02-03T13:32:12Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > Dear Casey, > Back on June 3rd last year, while out chopping cotton, I found out from my mother that my good friend Billie Joe had died. I knew Billie from Choctaw Ridge, a neighboring town. He used to do silly kid’s stuff, like once he put a frog down my back at the Carroll County picture show. But we were friends just the same. Anyway, as it turns out he died by throwing himself off the Tallahatchee Bridge. I still miss him a great deal, and occasionally find myself on that bridge dropping flowers into it. > > In honor of his death, could you please play “Money, Cash, Hoes” by Jay-Z featuring DMX? Winner! ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2010, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/15 "2010-02-03T13:33:03Z")
Oldie but a goodie: Casey, I’m going to be spending the night at the Neverland Ranch tonight. Can you play “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me?” and dedicate it to Joe Jackson? Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/16 "2010-02-03T14:00:25Z")
Hey Casey, I cheated on my wife with this “hot chick” and the next thing you know we’re having a kid. Well, I thought we were in love until I got a look at her knees. My God, her legs are as ugly as Satan walking. I wish I had never left Jen, err, my ex. I know Jen, err, my ex, will never forgive me, but God, I swear to all I love you. Please forgive me, Jen, err my ex. You are a goddess. So, Casey, can you please play _You Dropped a Bomb on Me_ by the Gap Band. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casey-kasem-requests-you-probably-wont-hear/527400/17 "2010-02-04T23:50:49Z")
Dear Casey: My sister is dating a black guy. Could you please play a special song for her? It is called “If The Man In The Moon Were a Coon”!:eek: