# Casket Warranty

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [September 12, 2007, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976 "2007-09-12T21:22:05Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2007, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/1 "2007-09-12T21:22:05Z")

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What is the practical use of a warranty on a casket used for burial? Do people go out and dig it up to see if they need to get a new one or refunded on the original?

A friend of mine buried her grandmother a few years back and the coffin had a limited 7 year warranty. Felt that was kind of crazy. Were they supposed to dig her up every so often see if the integrity of the coffin was good? Trade out if it went south? Is there an “extended warranty” available for coffins? In what way can a casket fail that would be known?

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**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2007, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/2 "2007-09-12T23:43:58Z")

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Can you say “marketing gimmick”?

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**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2007, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/3 "2007-09-12T23:44:55Z")

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[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya]  
In what way can a casket fail that would be known?  
[/QUOTE]  
I’m really hoping a Vampire will come along to answer this question.

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**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\
**Post date:** [September 12, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/4 "2007-09-12T23:51:38Z")

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I think people buy them ahead of the actual event and store them somewhere. I believe my ex MIL’s entire funeral is designed and paid for. Maybe its a guarantee on the hinges or something.

It’s so much simpler to just go the oven route. I don’t have these worries!

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**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/5 "2007-09-13T00:04:11Z")

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I mean, corpses don’t complain, do they? I actually once heard about a guy who sued an undertaker-he complained that his embalmed mother had rotted away (inside of a hermetically sealed casket). Don’t know what kind of damages were awarded.

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**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/6 "2007-09-13T00:42:14Z")

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[QUOTE=Kalhoun]  
It’s so much simpler to just go the oven route.  
[/QUOTE]

Godwin’s Law count: 4 posts.

🙂

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**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/7 "2007-09-13T00:49:26Z")

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When my dad died we purchased a casket and burial vault with integrity and waterproof warranties with the thought that we may move him to a military cemetery in the future. The warranty was useful as moving a disintegrated burial site could be more costly than an intact one. Never moved dear ol dad though.

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**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/8 "2007-09-13T01:37:57Z")

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[QUOTE=ralph124c]  
I actually once heard about a guy who sued an undertaker-he complained that his embalmed mother had rotted away (inside of a hermetically sealed casket).  
[/QUOTE]  
Hermetic sealing by itself would do nothing to prevent decomposition. A [hermetic seal](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermetically_sealed) is merely airtight; the putrifaction process would continue, whether the casket is sealed or not.

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**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/9 "2007-09-13T02:22:50Z")

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[QUOTE=BubbaDog]  
When my dad died we purchased a casket and burial vault with integrity and waterproof warranties with the thought that we may move him to a military cemetery in the future. The warranty was useful as moving a disintegrated burial site could be more costly than an intact one. Never moved dear ol dad though.  
[/QUOTE]

Good thinking.

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**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/10 "2007-09-13T02:32:39Z")

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[QUOTE=KneadToKnow]  
Godwin’s Law count: 4 posts.

🙂  
[/QUOTE]

Not _those_ ovens, silly! The voluntary ones!! 😛

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**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/11 "2007-09-13T02:35:46Z")

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My ex’s wife went for the cheapest casket she could get when he died. She chose one with no handles. I highly recommend cutting corners elsewhere. We dropped him.

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**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/12 "2007-09-13T02:41:28Z")

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[QUOTE=Kalhoun]  
Not _those_ ovens, silly! The voluntary ones!! 😛  
[/QUOTE]

😉

Oh, and now I have a new phrase I’m dying to try out: “I’ll drop you like a cheap casket!”

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**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/13 "2007-09-13T03:57:58Z")

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[QUOTE=ralph124c]  
I mean, corpses don’t complain, do they? I actually once heard about a guy who sued an undertaker-he complained that his embalmed mother had rotted away (inside of a hermetically sealed casket). Don’t know what kind of damages were awarded.  
[/QUOTE]

And just _how_ did he find out? (Never mind _why_…)

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**Author:** ![R.P.McMurphy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7993a0/32.png) [@R.P.McMurphy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R.P.McMurphy)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/14 "2007-09-13T04:23:18Z")

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I don’t have a cite but some years ago there was a lawsuit in Detroit. It seems that the casket was so cheap that while it was being carried the bottom broke out and the body dropped. The padding in the casket was just crumpled up newspapers and magazine.

The casket manufacturer was sued for emotional distress, etc. Can’t remember how it was resolved.

Maybe that incident has some connection to the OP.

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**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/15 "2007-09-13T04:26:53Z")

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Things this thread has caused me to discover:

1. You can buy caskets online and/or over the phone.
2. You can spend [huge](http://funeraldepot.com/bronzeandcopper/PrometheanBronze.html) amounts of money on caskets.
3. Even the Jews, whose religion literally dictates “plain wood box, nothing more” get [ripped off](http://www.directcasket.com/jewish.htm).
4. If a friend stops by your room and notices you’re looking at caskets online, they will wonder out loud about this.

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**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/16 "2007-09-13T04:38:47Z")

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[QUOTE=Fear Itself]  
Hermetic sealing by itself would do nothing to prevent decomposition. A [hermetic seal](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermetically_sealed) is merely airtight; the putrifaction process would continue, whether the casket is sealed or not.  
[/QUOTE]

This is a bit that I cut from my Do Cemetery Plots Expire? Staff Report:

> [@](#):
>
> Of course, sealed coffins are more likely to cause your uncle bob to turn into coffin liquor. Worse yet, an airtight coffin could explode. Carlson reports such a case from Florida and another from an unnamed state where “disgruntled employees smeared super-glue on the gasket of a casket heading for a mausoleum.”

The good ones have a one-way gasket, according to Carlson.

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**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/17 "2007-09-13T12:44:39Z")

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Sometimes around headstones you may notice that the earth seems to have fallen away. It looks like there is a hole that is near the front of the headstone (which looks like it might tip over). I have been told that that is a sign that the casket has collapsed under the weight of the dirt.

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**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/18 "2007-09-13T16:43:07Z")

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[QUOTE=NinjaChick]

1. Even the Jews, whose religion literally dictates “plain wood box, nothing more” get [ripped off](http://www.directcasket.com/jewish.htm)..  
[/QUOTE]

When my Yiddishe Mamme goes (Og willing not for a long time yet), she’s getting a cardboard coffin (yes they sell such things for actual burial) decorated with crayons by neighborhood children and mourners (Mom is an optimist who dearly loves all children).  
Re Judaism

Jewish law also states that the body should ‘return to the earth’ as quickly as possibe. So a Jewish casket maker would have a guarantee opposite that of the op. “We guarantee your relative will be bioslurry in in a busted box in no time!”

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**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/19 "2007-09-13T17:00:43Z")

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I thought they all came with lifetime warranties.

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**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/20 "2007-09-13T17:10:24Z")

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A slightly related anecdote: A while back, there was a series of mysterious grave disturbances in the Dallas area. The local news media, never letting facts get in the way of a good story, proposed several theories as to the motive. Some sort of satanic ritual, maybe? Some sort of weird sexual fetish, perhaps?

We had just buried my Dad, and my first thought was: Caskets are expensive. What’s to keep someone from digging up a fresh grave, emptying the casket, covering the body back up, stopping of at the car wash, and re-selling that casket? It would $2K-$3K for a night’s work. If you brought some extra dirt with you to fill the hole, who would ever know?

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976.md?page=2)
