# Casket Warranty **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 12, 2007, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976 "2007-09-12T21:22:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/21 "2007-09-13T17:14:53Z")
[QUOTE=Tully Mars] What’s to keep someone from digging up a fresh grave, emptying the casket, covering the body back up, stopping of at the car wash, and re-selling that casket? It would $2K-$3K for a night’s work. If you brought some extra dirt with you to fill the hole, who would ever know? [/QUOTE] Aren’t they generally in concrete vaults with heavy covers? Not to mention getting it out of the hole isn’t an easy thing to do either. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/22 "2007-09-13T17:14:59Z")
Or you could use the ones you see in old movies that contain burials at sea, where the coffin has a swinging door at the end, and when they hoist it to the rail and tip it, the body slides out into the water and the coffin is put away until next time! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/23 "2007-09-13T17:18:53Z")
[QUOTE=Tully Mars] We had just buried my Dad, and my first thought was: Caskets are expensive. What’s to keep someone from digging up a fresh grave, emptying the casket, covering the body back up, stopping of at the car wash, and re-selling that casket? It would $2K-$3K for a night’s work. If you brought some extra dirt with you to fill the hole, who would ever know? [/QUOTE] Or, more possibly, what’s to stop the funeral home from doing it? They can do it in plain daylight and come up with reasonable sounding excuses (“we made a mistake buring him and are fixing it…”). ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/24 "2007-09-13T17:27:22Z")
[QUOTE=Hypno-Toad] Or, more possibly, what’s to stop the funeral home from doing it? They can do it in plain daylight and come up with reasonable sounding excuses (“we made a mistake buring him and are fixing it…”). [/QUOTE] It’s come up before: [http://nl.newsbank.com/nl-search/we/Archives?p\_product=SL&p\_theme=sl&p\_action=search&p\_maxdocs=200&p\_topdoc=1&p\_text\_direct-0=0EB04CCD88E1D98B&p\_field\_direct-0=document\_id&p\_perpage=10&p\_sort=YMD\_date:D&s\_trackval=GooglePM](http://nl.newsbank.com/nl-search/we/Archives?p_product=SL&p_theme=sl&p_action=search&p_maxdocs=200&p_topdoc=1&p_text_direct-0=0EB04CCD88E1D98B&p_field_direct-0=document_id&p_perpage=10&p_sort=YMD_date:D&s_trackval=GooglePM) (Two Graves Inspected By Officers Cemetery Is Accused Of Reselling Caskets) ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/25 "2007-09-13T17:30:07Z")
But seriously, if someone wanted to pre-purchase a casket and have it around the house until needed would the warranty start from date of purchase, or date of internment? Because I’ve been thinking that one of those Costco coffins would make a pretty cool wine rack, and when needed you’d empty it out for the wake anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/26 "2007-09-13T17:30:37Z")
[QUOTE=BobLibDem] Aren’t they generally in concrete vaults with heavy covers? Not to mention getting it out of the hole isn’t an easy thing to do either. [/QUOTE] Nothing that a backhoe wouldn’t fix with ease. [QUOTE=Hypno-Toad] Or, more possibly, what’s to stop the funeral home from doing it? They can do it in plain daylight and come up with reasonable sounding excuses (“we made a mistake buring him and are fixing it…”). [/QUOTE] A very good point. The funerals I’ve attended recently (too many), they’ve waited until everyone left to lower the casket and fill the hole. I’ve some woodworking supply catalogs that sell plans and hardware to build your own. I wonder how I would feel building my own casket? ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/27 "2007-09-13T17:34:37Z")
[QUOTE=Bill Door] Because I’ve been thinking that one of those Costco coffins would make a pretty cool wine rack, and when needed you’d empty it out for the wake anyway. [/QUOTE] Awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/28 "2007-09-13T17:49:40Z")
Please note this is when you would like to have a warranty. [Mausoleum Problems](http://mausoleumproblems.homestead.com/index.html) I ran across this site doing research on adipocere for a Straight Dope thread a few years ago. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/29 "2007-09-13T17:54:06Z")
[QUOTE=Tully Mars] I’ve some woodworking supply catalogs that sell plans and hardware to build your own. I wonder how I would feel building my own casket? [/QUOTE] Being a morbid pessimist, my father long wanted to order a set of plans for a bookcase that converted into a coffin. He never did get around to it. ---
**Author:** ![galt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@galt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galt)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/30 "2007-09-13T19:12:32Z")
Are there any legal issues which would prevent having oneself buried in a box made of quarter-inch steel plate with all 12 seams welded completely closed? I’d think that would put any doubts about coffin integrity to rest for quite some time. Give it a few coats of paint to delay the onset of rust, even. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/31 "2007-09-13T19:25:03Z")
[QUOTE=galt] Are there any legal issues which would prevent having oneself buried in a box made of quarter-inch steel plate with all 12 seams welded completely closed? I’d think that would put any doubts about coffin integrity to rest for quite some time. Give it a few coats of paint to delay the onset of rust, even. [/QUOTE] I don’t think so. There’s a famous English case that I discussed in a staff report that dealt with cast-iron caskets that were closed in a similar fashion in order to thwart body thieves. But that case dealt with churchyard burials, which were free, and involved a very different set of rights to cemetery plots. [http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mcemeteryrights.html](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mcemeteryrights.html) ---
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/32 "2007-09-13T20:07:53Z")
[QUOTE=EJsGirl] Or you could use the ones you see in old movies that contain burials at sea, where the coffin has a swinging door at the end, and when they hoist it to the rail and tip it, the body slides out into the water and the coffin is put away until next time! 😃 [/QUOTE] I always thought the bodies were wrapped in linen, weighed down, placed on a plank and kerplunked in the ocean after a short service. No coffin. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/33 "2007-09-13T20:31:42Z")
> [@](#): > > The casket must be specially prepared to insure that it quickly descends to the ocean floor and remains there. It must also be secured according to strict regulations. [Sea Burial Services and Dignified Memorials | Sea Services](http://www.seaservices.com/q&a.htm#full%20burial) ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/34 "2007-09-13T20:51:05Z")
[QUOTE=Jake] I always thought the bodies were wrapped in linen, weighed down, placed on a plank and kerplunked in the ocean after a short service. No coffin. [/QUOTE] It appears that many methods are employed, [including the one you describe.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:BurialAtSea_USS_Intrepid1944.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/35 "2007-09-13T21:03:49Z")
A few facts, an anecdote, and my insignificant opinion: Burial rules vary, but here the below-ground dead are 4 feet deep. Proper embalming will fend off most decomposition, but not all of it. If there’s a big delay between death and embalming, it can’t be done right. Around here, buried caskets are encased in vaults, usually concrete. There are two kinds. A tub with a lid will keep anything inside from leaking out if there’s no flooding. A platform with a tub on top will keep outside water from getting in, but any liquid from inside may leak out. The soil over the vault will settle, even if the vault is intact. The diggers have to set aside some soil, because the grass has to be mowed. Backfill adjustment takes a while. I have ties to the local funeral industry. This incedent really happened, and names have been removed. A dead man was buried, but the lid of the handcrafted hardwood coffin cracked as his family looked on. The funeral director and the casket maker scrambled to make it right. Before the disinterment could be arranged, the skies opened in a very rainy week. When the vault and casket were raised from the muck, a spectacular collision of odds was discovered. The cracked casket was in a cracked vault. The tremendous rains had enveloped the man’s earthly remains in muddy water. Everything was straightened out in a few days, but those who believe in karma were wondering what the man had been up to before he died. In my insignificant opinion, we devote too much of our time, money, and real estate to our peculiar traditions about the dead. I don’t plan to be buried in an expensive, beautiful box, in a tiny plot of lawn, forever “owned” by a dead man’s bones in a pretty box. ---
**Author:** ![Miscue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@Miscue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miscue)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/36 "2007-09-13T21:17:29Z")
This shouldn’t be my favorite thread yet but it is. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/37 "2007-09-13T22:33:35Z")
Then you need to move on to the the _Jelly Tot Star System_ thread. Best premise I’ve seen since _Pan-Fried Semen_. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/38 "2007-09-13T22:38:21Z")
[QUOTE=Bill Door] Because I’ve been thinking that one of those Costco coffins would make a pretty cool wine rack, and when needed you’d empty it out for the wake anyway. [/QUOTE] I think a cigarette machine would be a better case mod. “Coffin nail?” “Yes, please!” ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/39 "2007-09-13T23:06:52Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] I think a cigarette machine would be a better case mod. “Coffin nail?” “Yes, please!” [/QUOTE] Case mod. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2007, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976/40 "2007-09-13T23:25:50Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] Being a morbid pessimist, my father long wanted to order a set of plans for a bookcase that converted into a coffin. He never did get around to it. [/QUOTE] Aww, too bad. He could have had [these people](http://www.casketfurniture.com/) do it for them. They were on an episode of Ripley’s from 2001 that reaired just a few days ago. I like the song on the site. I know it’s called “O Death” but does anyone know who’s singing it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casket-warranty/418976.md?page=3)