# Cast "Clinton Impeachment: the Movie" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 19, 2004, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079 "2004-02-19T22:07:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/1 "2004-02-19T22:07:59Z")
I’m surprised it hasn’t been made yet, but there have been talks about it from HBO, Showtime and several studios. Who would you cast? My pics: Bill Clinton: [Alec Baldwin](http://imdb.com/name/nm0000285/) Hillary Clinton:[Jane Curtin](http://imdb.com/name/nm0004852/) Monica Lewinsky: [Alyssa Milano](http://imdb.com/name/nm0000192/) Linda Tripp: the obvious answer is [John Goodman](http://us.ent4.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/tv_pix/nbc/saturday_night_live_episode_photos/_group_photos/john_goodman2.jpg) , but if it just had to be a woman… [Penny Marshall](http://imdb.com/name/nm0001508/) Henry Hyde: [Charles Durnign](http://imdb.com/name/nm0001164/) Ken Starr: [Max Wright](http://imdb.com/gallery/mptv/1060/Mptv/1060/10802-0041.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Wright,%20Max%20(I)) Bob Barr: [Richard Roxburgh](http://www.csie.nctu.edu.tw/~movies/index/2001/MoulinRouge/Roxburgh.jpg) Larry Flynt: [Joe Don Baker](http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0000833/) Feel free to add characters, change actors, etc… ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/2 "2004-02-19T22:37:54Z")
A manakin as Al Gore… ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2004, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/3 "2004-02-19T23:12:17Z")
If you’ve ever seen the movie Primary Colors, a fictionalized retelling of Bill Clinton’s first presidential campaign, you’d know that the only person to play Bill Clinton is John Travolta. He was perfect, he absolutely nailed Clinton’s combination of simultaneous sincerity/insincerity. And Emma Thompson did a pretty good job on “Hillary”. What the heck, get the whole cast of “Primary Colors” to reprise their roles for the impeachment movie. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/4 "2004-02-20T01:59:40Z")
Travolta didn’t really work for me in that role. He was good as “a Clintonesque president,” but I don’t know that he ever became his character. He was always “John Travolta playing a Clintonesque president.” I rarely watch _C.S.I._, but the guy who plays Grissom popped into my head. ([William L. Peterson](http://imdb.com/name/nm0676973/) ) He has the right hair in any case. 🙂 There is some resemblance there, he’s the right age, and he’s tall enough. Plus, he’s got that same doughy look. I think if you got the hair just right, and maybe added a prosthetic nose, he’d really look like him. I also thought of John Goodman for Linda Tripp. Ha ha. (It’s funny how the parody can seem more real than the real person.) You wouldn’t be that constrained in terms of finding someone of the right appearance to play her, because between the hair and the glasses, you could barely see her face anyway. The makeup department could add the hooked nose and jowls. The big question with Linda Tripp is how Monica could not have known that she was evil! She exuded evilness. So, you’d have to find an actress to could play evil-faking-being-nice without hamming it up. **Lemur** pointed out that Emma Thompson was good as Hillary, but in this case, I’d put her to work as Linda Tripp. Alyssa Milano is way too old to play Monica. Monica was young young young. Also, Monica isn’t “Hollywood” pretty. I think you might have to look outside of the usual crew of starlets for Monica to find someone who is young enough, pretty in an ordinary-person way, and a little bit zaftig. Perhaps in a top university drama or musical theater program? I know there were some in my year at Carnegie Mellon who would have been great. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/5 "2004-02-20T03:40:48Z")
I’d cast it entirely with porn stars. Jon Jeremy gets to be Clinton, Jenna Jameson is Hillary, Monica is whoever happens to be on the cover of that month’s “Barely Legal.” And the Republicans in the drama would all be played by the various big names in gay porn. Someone else will have to provide that list. Linda Tripp would be portrayed by a donkey from a German bestiality porno. Oh, but the film itself wouldn’t be a porn. They’d all have to act. I think that would hit just the right note of pathetic, comical futility this story demands. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/6 "2004-02-20T04:02:50Z")
Darrel Hammond should just play everybody. “Ah. Am. Bulletproof.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/7 "2004-02-20T06:25:57Z")
But who would we get to play all the “Impeach Clinton” bumper stickers, that dated back to before Bill Clinton was even inaugurated as President? (Despite his popularity, that guy sure drew a _hell_ of a lot of venom for some reason.) ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/8 "2004-02-20T08:24:45Z")
**John Cusack** as Clinton. First of all, because Cusack can play anyone and second: He’s attractive. **Emma Thompson** as Hillary, I agree. For the same reasons as the above. [or maybe Frances McDormand?] **Kathy Bates** as Tripp, because she can be nice and/or scary. mmm, Monica. **Christina Applegate**? [with wig] Or some other not too intelligent looking actress. [Angelina Jolie is too old and has too much lips] ---
**Author:** ![Katisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bcef8e/32.png) [@Katisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katisha)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 8:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/9 "2004-02-20T08:34:41Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Larry Flynt: [Joe Don Baker](http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0000833/) That’s inspired. Which is something I never thought I’d say about any hypothetical casting of Joe Don Baker. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/10 "2004-02-20T11:38:08Z")
Madonna as Monica. You want someone playing the part of a person made famous by sucking dick BY a person who IS famous by sucking dick. Plus, I’m sure Madonna can supply her own spoogy soaked dresses. ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/11 "2004-02-20T14:53:30Z")
Agreeing with that, **Seven** If she were to play Monica’s grandma. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/12 "2004-02-20T15:11:58Z")
I dunno, I disagree with Green Bean. I think John Travolta did a good job as Clinton, so I’d be behind him getting the role. For Monica, I’d go for [Melanie Lynskey](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001491/) from 2 1/2 men. Kristen Scott Thomas could play hillary, I think she’d be pretty good. I don’t know who could play linda tripp, I’m pretty sure you’d be left putting a pile of makeup on somebody. Gary Oldman could be Kenneth Starr. He may be a little young but Gary always comes accross as a little slimey and that is what is needed for this part. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/13 "2004-02-20T16:21:31Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] And the Republicans in the drama would all be played by the various big names in gay porn. Someone else will have to provide that list. QUOTE] You apparently haven’t seen any gay porn 🆒 Let’s just say that Ron Jeremy couldn’t even make it onto the studio lot. There’s **NOOOO** way that I’d stroke Henry Hyde and Bob Barr’s egoes by letting[Lukas Ridgeston](http://www.gayboys.at/STUDIO/BELAMI/1/638148g.jpg) or [Bart Maverick](http://www.gay-videos-for-sale.co.uk/1.jpg) play them. \*The above hyperlinks are safe to open at work; I tried finding pics of other stars (Ion Davidov, Tommy Cruise [who looks just like you-know-who], Brock Masters, etc., but they weren’t.) ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/14 "2004-02-20T22:52:34Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > You apparently haven’t seen any gay porn 🆒 Let’s just say that Ron Jeremy couldn’t even make it onto the studio lot. There’s **NOOOO** way that I’d stroke Henry Hyde and Bob Barr’s egoes by letting[Lukas Ridgeston](http://www.gayboys.at/STUDIO/BELAMI/1/638148g.jpg) or [Bart Maverick](http://www.gay-videos-for-sale.co.uk/1.jpg) play them. Somehow, I don’t see Henry Hyde’s ego getting stroked by casting a gay porn star in his role. Actually, I suspect he’d be rather insulted. Plus, who would you rather spend two hours watching? An actor who looks just like Henry Hyde, or an actor who looks just like Tom Cruise? ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2004, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/15 "2004-02-20T23:19:17Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > I’m surprised it hasn’t been made yet The networks are afraid of the backlash they’d get when the Republicans realize it makes them look even worse than they already do. 😉 It’d make the flap over _The Reagans_ look like a love letter by comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Tonya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/4491bb/32.png) [@Queen\_Tonya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Tonya)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/16 "2004-02-21T04:07:53Z")
[Ione Skye](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001746/) is a natural for Monica, c’mon! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/17 "2004-02-21T04:19:48Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > The networks are afraid of the backlash they’d get when the Republicans realize it makes them look even worse than they already do. 😉 It’d make the flap over _The Reagans_ look like a love letter by comparison. I’m honestly not a fan of Clinton’s (I think the nickname _Slick Willie_ is one of the best chosen for any American presidents and that his enaction of DOMA and DA/DT are the two biggest bitchslaps ever dealt gays by any president [why so many gays like him is beyond me]). However, when I was reading Hillary’s autobio again and reliving the Starr Regime proceedings I literally got redfaced mad again- it was such a disgrace **NOT** because of the blowjob but because of a $50 million investigation into a real estate deal that lost money turning into a partisan witchhunt and resulting in the lamest excuse for an impeachment the world has ever seen; imho, it was a bigger disgrace to the Republican party than Watergate. I totally understand why Hillary stood by him even though she wanted to castrate him; the unmitigated injustice and hypocrisy made U.S. a bigger laughing stock than Vanilla Ice. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/18 "2004-02-21T04:46:23Z")
John Travolta as Bill Clinton Alec Baldwin as Al Gore Meg Ryan as Hillary (I suppose) Renee Zellweger as Monica (of course, she’d have to gain weight for the role) John Goodman as Linda Tripp **and** Rush Limbaugh Kathy Bates as Janet Reno Charles Durning as Henry Hyde Dann Florek or Terry O’Quinn as Kenneth Starr Charles S. Dutton as Vernon Jordan Edward Herrmann as Trent Lott Chris Matthews as Newt Gingrich Paul McGann as Tony Blair Al Sharpton, Phil Graham, Bob Dole, Tom Brokaw, and Jesse Jackson as Themselves and Michael Caine as A Generic Bemused Foreigner ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/19 "2004-02-21T04:59:20Z")
I suggested Meg Ryan since, if she wants to lose that sweet, silly, romantic comedy image, Hillary might be a good part for her. Trying for objectivity about someone like Hillary is hard, but I’d venture that many words come to mind when you think of Hillary Clinton, and I doubt “sweet” is high on the list. I could be wrong of course, and YMMV, obviously. Come to think of it, Julianne Moore might make a good Hillary. It’s a pity Margaret Dumont isn’t around, she could be a good Janet Reno. Also, since I’m a _Monk_ fan: Tony Shaloub as Neurotic Comic-Relief Lawyer Ted Levine as Generic Congressman #1 and on an un-Monk related note: George Clooney as Generic American News Anchor Arnold as The Future Governor and Lance Henriksen as Scary Federal Agent ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2004, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079/20 "2004-02-21T05:23:22Z")
> [@Michael Ellis](#): > > Ted Levine as Generic Congressman #1 Levine to Clinton: “It answers the question about its sin or else it gets subpoenad again!” and “You don’t know what real pain is, Monica!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-clinton-impeachment-the-movie/230079.md?page=2)