# Cast the hypothetical (but pretty sure to be made) movie about the Trump/Russia/Mueller clusterfuck **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 20, 2018, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212 "2018-02-20T17:24:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/1 "2018-02-20T17:24:00Z")
So you’re a move producer and you want to make this generation’s _All the President’s Men_. Whose people do your people call? I guess Alec Baldwin is the obvious choice for Trump, but that will probably make people think it’s a farce. For a serious movie, or maybe a dark comedy, I’m thinking more John Goodman. Why did he have to go and lose all that weight? Can you bulk up again, John? Maybe we can add some weight in post. In another thread, I think I suggested Jeff Bridges for Trump, mostly because Jeff Bridges can do anything. He’d be good too. It’s a damn shame Phillip Seymour Hoffman has died. He’d be good for Bannon. Maybe John C. Reilly or Paul Giamatti can do it. I don’t know a lot about Tom Hiddleston, but he always looks like a smarmy douche in those Marvel movie stills (Loki? Is that who he plays?). So, Kushner for him. He’s even the right age. James Cromwell is my pick for Mueller. He’s only a few years older than Mueller, and he can do quietly intimidating. Like his character in _LA Confidential_, just without the evil streak (hopefully). Jon Heder has to be Eric Trump. Who’s on your shortlist? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/2 "2018-02-20T18:45:58Z")
> [@Bayard](#): > > I guess Alec Baldwin is the obvious choice for Trump, but that will probably make people think it’s a farce. Yeah, that would be a _huge_ departure from reality. 😃 I’d kinda like to see Dean Cain as Rick Perry, though it would be a small role. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/3 "2018-02-20T19:20:14Z")
They could probably get Cadet Bone Spurs to play himself. He’s that vain and clueless. Unless they never show Putin’s face, whoever portrays him better be an unknown actor, uncredited in heavy makeup. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/4 "2018-02-20T19:39:17Z")
I really want to see Amy Sedaris as Kelly Ann Conway. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/5 "2018-02-20T19:50:48Z")
It might depend on whether the movie is taking a pro-Trump or anti-Trump perspective. We might end up with Chris Hemsworth or someone as Trump. ---
**Author:** ![USCDiver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uscdiver/32/354_2.png) [@USCDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/USCDiver)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/6 "2018-02-20T19:55:26Z")
Bill Murray did a passable Bannon on SNL recently. He’s got the drama chops to pull it off on a serious tone or the comedy chops if it’s a farce. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/7 "2018-02-20T19:59:48Z")
Robert Duvall would make a good Trump with that same thing on his head. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/8 "2018-02-20T20:00:36Z")
Too bad Irene Ryan isn’t alive to play Jeff Sessions. For Sarah Sanders, either Roseanne or Aidy Bryant. Martin Sheen could play Donald if Alec Baldwin isn’t available. Steve Martin for Mike Pence. Call me crazy, but I think Dave Letterman could do Mueller. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/9 "2018-02-20T20:33:27Z")
We had a similar thread a while back, and it’s just not possible to cast someone as Trump unless you’re making a comedy. Trump is such a self-created caricature of a human being that it would be impossible to play him straight without seeming as if you were mocking him. So the only way to do it is to always have Trump offstage, and have the movie be about Trump without ever seeing or hearing Trump on screen, in the same way that “All the President’s Men” never had someone playing Nixon. The only other workaround would be to use archival footage of the actual Trump. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/10 "2018-02-20T20:37:02Z")
> [@USCDiver](#): > > Bill Murray did a passable Bannon on SNL recently. He’s got the drama chops to pull it off on a serious tone or the comedy chops if it’s a farce. Oooh. Good suggestion! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ace)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/11 "2018-02-20T20:53:45Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > Too bad Irene Ryan isn’t alive to play Jeff Sessions. > > For Sarah Sanders, either Roseanne or Aidy Bryant. > > Martin Sheen could play Donald if Alec Baldwin isn’t available. > > Steve Martin for Mike Pence. > > Call me crazy, but I think Dave Letterman could do Mueller. Eh, Dave wouldn’t shave his beard, but Steve Martin is spot-on. Let’s see…I like Brian Cox as Bannon. He does scruffy well. Conchata Ferrell as Sarah Sanders. Evan Handler as either Corey Lewandowski or Sean Spicer (he’d need a bit of a 'do to do Spicer). James McAvoy as Stephen Miller. Vicente Fox in a cameo as himself. And I’m totally on board with Scarlet Johansson reprising her role as Ivanka. Keanu Reeves as Jared (he’d have few lines, an easy role for him.) Martin Short as Jeff Sessions. Jeremy Irons as Kelly. Somebody short, balding, mild-mannered, and nondescript as Priebus. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/12 "2018-02-20T21:01:35Z")
> [@Johnny\_Ace](#): > > Somebody short, balding, mild-mannered, and nondescript as Priebus. Stanley Tucci. Stephen Tobolowsky, maybe. I can’t remember what Priebus sounds like, so I don’t know who can get the voice closer. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/13 "2018-02-20T21:01:58Z")
> [@Johnny\_Ace](#): > > Somebody short, balding, mild-mannered, and nondescript as Priebus. Nodescript is right, because I just realized after listening to your casting suggestions that I have no idea what Priebus looks like. I mean, I follow the news and so on, and I know all the others, but Priebus made an effort to stay away from cameras. So go ahead and cast absolutely anyone as Priebus and no one will know. I hear Benedict Cumberbatch could use the work. Or maybe Dwayne Johnson. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/14 "2018-02-20T21:05:12Z")
After Googling Priebus, you could do worse than Giovanni Ribisi. And also after googling him, I didn’t say, “Oh yeah, now I remember, that guy.” Nope. I have no recollection of ever seeing Priebus’s face before. So maybe go with The Rock after all. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/15 "2018-02-20T21:15:48Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > After Googling Priebus, you could do worse than Giovanni Ribisi. I like him for that role. I didn’t care for _Avatar_ overall, but I though Ribisi was good as the amoral functionary pursuing the objectives of the higher ups without much thought as to the fallout. ---
**Author:** ![psychonaut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/psychonaut/32/4655_2.png) [@psychonaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychonaut)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/16 "2018-02-20T22:13:15Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > We had a similar thread a while back, and it’s just not possible to cast someone as Trump unless you’re making a comedy. Trump is such a self-created caricature of a human being that it would be impossible to play him straight without seeming as if you were mocking him. > > So the only way to do it is to always have Trump offstage, and have the movie be about Trump without ever seeing or hearing Trump on screen… Kind of like the title role in _Mohammed, Messenger of God_, eh? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2018, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/17 "2018-02-20T23:37:05Z")
> [@Bayard](#): > > James Cromwell is my pick for Mueller. He’s only a few years older than Mueller, and he can do quietly intimidating. Like his character in _LA Confidential_, just without the evil streak (hopefully). “NO COLLUSION. Fake news! No puppet. _You’re_ the puppet!” “That’ll do, pig.” _\_ ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2018, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/18 "2018-02-21T00:13:52Z")
I’d try to coax Daniel Day Lewis out of retirement for Mueller. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2018, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/19 "2018-02-21T00:18:24Z")
[Paul Dano](https://www.thewrap.com/war-and-peace-adaptation-starring-paul-dano-gillian-anderson-to-air-on-lifetime-ae-and-history/) should play Trump as the younger douchebag. Or maybe one the Trump children. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2018, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212/20 "2018-02-21T11:23:24Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > “NO COLLUSION. Fake news! No puppet. _You’re_ the puppet!” > > “That’ll do, pig.” _\_ Nice. I am surprised no one has said **Laura Benanti** as Melania. She’s killing it on Colbert with her impression: [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WKLArOpTHsQ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WKLArOpTHsQ) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-hypothetical-but-pretty-sure-to-be-made-movie-about-the-trump-russia-mueller-clusterfuck/809212.md?page=2)