# Cast the SDMB movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 3, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747 "2001-08-03T04:59:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/41 "2001-08-03T17:06:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Superdude \* > \*\*How about Drew Bayymore[sub]drool[/sub] as **Nymysys** [sub]drool[/sub]? \*\* Preview, idiot! Preview! Drew Barrymore ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/42 "2001-08-03T17:11:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by katiekilldare \* > \*\ ***woodstockbirdybird** - Milton Berle \*\* That’s it. You’re out of the will. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/43 "2001-08-03T17:15:42Z")
**Woody** , perhaps you haven’t heard the persitant rumors about the size of Uncle Miltie’s, um, personality, shall we say. If I were you, I’d be flattered. ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/44 "2001-08-03T17:25:49Z")
Okay, I’m not very good at remembering actors names and stuff, but here we go with a few:[ul] [li] **Xploder** played by Dan Haggerty (“Grizzly Adams”)[/li][li] **Persephone** by either Lucille Ball or Stevie Nicks (can ya sing, **Pers**?)[/li][li] **CrankyAsAnOldMan** , by Helen Hunt[/li][li] **thinksnow** by Dennis Quaid (a la “The Big Easy” minus the N’awlins accent) or a happy Russell Crowe[/li][li] **SuperDude** , Mike Meyers. Gotta agree your own pick, man! :D[/li][li] **UncleBeer** played by a young Charleton Heston, of course[/ul][/li] Oh, and if we get to pick our own, can I have Heather Graham portray me as she appeared in Lenny Kravitz’s “American Woman”? [Little blurb on Heather](http://www.askmen.com/women/actress/16b_heather_graham.html) that’s apropos. [sub]This list is not exhaustive nor does the management make any claims that the personalities or appearance of said Doper will exactly match that of the suggested celebrity. All rights reserved.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/45 "2001-08-03T17:39:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by detop \* > **matt\_mcl - Rupert Everett > Crunchy Frog - Jim Carrey > GingerOfTheNorth - Famke Janssen** **detop** , I believe you are _dead on_. So… do you want payment in Canadian or American funds? Maybe a lifetime supply of Poutine? Cause I just looked up this Famke chickie and there’s no way in HELL. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/46 "2001-08-03T17:41:27Z")
**vix** - Jennifer Beals: gorgeous, curly black hair, dark eyes, sense of humor, and Flashdance. It’s brilliant casting. **dropzone** - errrr…no comment. **woodstockbirdybird** - I think John Lithgow is fucking brilliant. I mean movie actor John Lithgow - literate, comic genius, great timing, biting wit, plays villains to perfection, and is a bit of a loon. May I go on? **Collounsbury** - Sean Connery **Gaudere** - Jodie Foster **Arnold Winklereid** - River Phoenix **Nacho4Sarah** - Thora Birch **Turpentine** - Kirsten Dunst **Rasa** - Chloe Sevigny **porcupine** - Julianne Moore **Cartooniverse** - Robin Williams (Standup days and Dead Poets Society ONLY) **pldennison** - David Duchovny **Peta Tsunami** - Sally Field **Stoid** - Kathy Bates **oldscratch** - Ewan MacGregor **Guinastasia** - Katie Holmes **iampunha** - James Van Der Beek **Goboy** - Kevin Spacey **LuxFiat** - Johnny Depp **Falcon** - Melanie Griffith **Jess** - Kim Delaney **Jodi** - Marcia Gay Harden I’m gonna change **boli** to Laura Linney. It’s PERFECT. ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/47 "2001-08-03T17:44:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by woodstockbirdybird \* > \*\*Also, John Turturro as **Mercutio**. \*\* Hey, I’m not short. I’m taller than you **woodstockvaughnybitcybird** ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/48 "2001-08-03T17:48:18Z")
I thought about it and I want Lita from the WWF to play me. After all, we’re both redheads with interesting tattoos who have a Hardy Boyz fetish… Or a redheaded Rose McGowan. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/49 "2001-08-03T17:58:29Z")
OK, **magdalene** , since you’re going to be flattering, I guess I’ll accept your nomination. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mercutio \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by woodstockbirdybird \* > > \*\*Also, John Turturro as **Mercutio**. \*\* > > Hey, I’m not short. I’m taller than you **woodstockvaughnybitcybird** \*\* Hey, **Merc** , John Turturro’s one of the best actors alive today, IMO. He can do drama, comedy, anything. I wasn’t aware he was short, anyway. It’s not like I was trying to cast aspersions upon your height - if I was, I would’ve picked Papa Smurf to play you. But fine, if that’s the way you want it: Kareem Abdul-Jabar as **Mercutio**. P.S. Call me! ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/50 "2001-08-03T18:03:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by magdalene \* > \*\ ***Stoid** - Kathy Bates > \*\* Thought about it. Decided it offends me, even though she’s a marvelously talented woman. ☹ Why Kathy Bates? Stoid ---
**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/51 "2001-08-03T18:09:45Z")
John Turtorro is rather tall, I thought. I will say that, fine actor that he is, I think he’s a little old to be portraying **Mercutio**. He doesn’t have nearly the range that Milton Berle has. Really, though, it’s back to Vince Vaughn for **woodstockbirdybird**. [T-Bone] You’re so money, and you don’t even _know_ it. [T-Bone] ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/52 "2001-08-03T18:29:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoid \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by magdalene \* > > \*\ ***Stoid** - Kathy Bates > > \*\* > > Thought about it. > > Decided it offends me, even though she’s a marvelously talented woman. > > ☹ > > Why Kathy Bates? > > Stoid \*\* **Stoid** , sorry from the bottom of my heart if I have offended you. Would you rather I said Stoid = Estrella Warren? Kathy Bates takes. no. shit. She is crazy-talented, she comes across on screen as whip-smart, she is not afraid to offend people or froth at the mouth a little in service of something she’s passionate about. So why are you offended? From everything you’ve posted on the boards, she could probably play you to a “T.” She’s got grit, woman. ---
**Author:** ![SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceGhostofArrakis)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/53 "2001-08-03T18:31:36Z")
\*\* Weirddave\*\*- Jason Mewes \*\* Jack Batty \*\*- Dennis Miller **SpaceGhostofArrakis** Animated, of course. Voiced by Clint Eastwood. **redboss** - Paul Hogan **Cecil Adams** Moses-version of Charleton Heston \*\* Fenris \*\* Animated, Mr. Burns \*\* Scylla \*\* Pierce Brosnan Just some Ideas… ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/54 "2001-08-03T18:34:17Z")
I’ve seen Charleton Heston and someone else listed for **Cecil Adams**. I always kind of pictured him as a very young George Burns. After all, he played God. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/55 "2001-08-03T18:35:57Z")
Holy crap, Dennis Miller as {b]Jack Batty\*\* is damn-near perfect. I’d been struggling with someone to play him. Good Job, **SpaceGhost**. I also like Chloe Sevigny as **Rasa**. I’ll be thinking of more throughout the day. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/56 "2001-08-03T18:42:58Z")
I’ll have to look for “Split Second”, **Rue** , it looks interesting. Let’s see…how about some of my fellow DFW dopers? **Chef Troy** –since we’ve determined that we can resurrect dead stars…Groucho Marx **Aglarond** –Michael J. Fox **Zyada** –Mia Frye **JimB** –Donald Sutherland (from the M_A_S\*H days) **Grace** –Lea Thompson **Palmyra** –Peri Gilpin **psiekier** –Bruce Campbell (he’s going to love me for this) ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/57 "2001-08-03T18:44:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by magdalene \* > **vix** - Jennifer Beals: gorgeous, curly black hair, dark eyes, sense of humor, and Flashdance. It’s brilliant casting. Wow. Um, **magdalene** , I meant that you were a lunatic for casting just about everyone on the boards, not specifically for casting me as Jennifer Beals. I mean, that’s crazy, too… er, I mean, thanks! Actually, I think all your casting is genius. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/58 "2001-08-03T19:03:27Z")
Any of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, without a doubt. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/59 "2001-08-03T19:08:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vix \* > \*\*Two things. 1) I love this thread. 2) Magdalene? You’re a lunatic. But in a good way. 😃 > . \*\* excuuuuuuse me, but anyone who says I should be portrayed by **Susan Sarandon** is obviously a highly talented, wise, knowing, & wonderful person. 😃 Now, for me: **Fenris** - who else but Mel Gibson? Quick wit, quick mind, highly talented and totally swoonable. **Sue** - ahhh Dennis Quaid of course - Deep, intense but with a flirty twist. **mags** - who else but Meryl Streep, - some one who can run the gamut of wise, eager, stoic, strong, sensual, and funnier than hell (only Meryl seems to need more than one movie to do all that) **BigGirl** I think is more of Tina Turner - ('ceptin she wouldn’t have put up with Ike). **UncleBeer -** well who else but Charlton Heston - the statesman/gun protector. **Scylla** is more of Bruce Willis, wise cracking kick ass, take names later. That’s all I can think of for now. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/60 "2001-08-03T19:44:09Z")
and I have a few. for\*\* Magdalene\*\*, I have to say the lovely, down to earth, smart actress Annabeth Gish. I love her so much. She’s just wonderful person. For **Eve** , I’m going to say (and don’t think of them now, think of them as young women) Lillian Gish or perhaps Clara Bow. I’m picturing that lipstick on you right now. **Fenris** , I’m thinking a young Rory Calhoun (sorry, had to get a Simpsons reference in there) **Coldie** , when I think of you, I think of the lead character in my novel, and when I think of him, I think of hockey, and when I think of hockey, I think of Doug Weight. So you can be him. jarbaby [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747.md?page=4)