# Cast the SDMB movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 3, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747 "2001-08-03T04:59:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/61 "2001-08-03T20:00:52Z")
Dennis Miller - hmmm - I like it. Of course it makes about as much sense as Nancy Reagan hosting a crack party, but who am I to complain? I mean I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but Dennis Miller’s wit makes me look about as humorless as Morrisey after a whiskey and ludes binge. [sub]I don’t know – that’s the best I could come up with on short notice[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/62 "2001-08-03T20:09:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SpaceGhostofArrakis \* > **Cecil Adams** Moses-version of Charleton Heston > \*\* Nope. Try **Cecil Adams** God version of Cecil B. DeMille. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Opengrave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/919ad9/32.png) [@Opengrave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opengrave)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/63 "2001-08-03T20:11:14Z")
**Gunslinger** - Dean Martin in Rio Bravio ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/64 "2001-08-03T20:33:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by magdalene \* > \*\* > > **Stoid** , sorry from the bottom of my heart if I have offended you. Would you rather I said Stoid = Estrella Warren? Kathy Bates takes. no. shit. She is crazy-talented, she comes across on screen as whip-smart, she is not afraid to offend people or froth at the mouth a little in service of something she’s passionate about. So why are you offended? From everything you’ve posted on the boards, she could probably play you to a “T.” She’s got grit, woman. \*\* Hey, no sorry! I’m sorry for being so touchy! You’ve just said the nicest things anyone’s said to me around here in ages. (Except for Ice Wolf). I ROCK! 😃 (I think of Kathy Bates as unattractive, and as I was feeling touchy, because I think everyone on the SDMB hates me, I was thinking of her roles in Misery and The Late Show. just being a dope. THANK YOU!) stoid I’ve got grit. I take no shit. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/65 "2001-08-03T20:46:06Z")
“So when are we going to see your choices, O Mistress of Cinematic Lore?” —Oh, I’d just be casting people like Norma Talmadge (jarbabyj?), Ramon Novarro (Manny?), Pauline Frederick (Stoid?) or Cliff Edwards (Ukelele Ike?) and get the usual blank stares and raised eyebrows . . . Gee, so far, I seem to be an unholy mixture of Kim Basinger, Sigourney Weaver, Dame Judith Anderson, Clara Bow and Lillian Gish—Just add some Chemical X, and stand back! ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/66 "2001-08-03T20:51:13Z")
Anyone feel they are familiar enough with me to cast me? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/67 "2001-08-03T20:56:56Z")
Well, just from your name, I’d go with Charles Laughton, but that might be unfair . . . ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/68 "2001-08-03T20:57:04Z")
Hey, my anonimity is well-protected. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/69 "2001-08-03T21:03:17Z")
Well fine then, I’ll play. My list (with explanations): And pleeeeeeeeeeeeese forgive my spelling mistakes on names. Thank ye kindly. **Scylla** - I’m going to go with **Charlton Heston** because I can see him all grizzled and panting with a shotgun in his hand screaming “get your paws of my boat, you damn dirty Amish!” **Fenris** – Eric Idle. ‘cause he’s funny and I can see him with a cockney British accent. Plus, you know, from Holy Grail. “But…I just want to….siiiiiiiing,” **Eve** – \*\* Katharine Houghton Hepburn\*\* OK, so it was a tossup between her and Kathy Ireland. No really, who here hasn’t imagined Eve speaking in that oh-so-haughty voice with words like “dah-ling” and “vahse.” What? Just me? Fine then. **Magdalene** – I’ve got two for this l’il lady. I’m thinking a cross between **Alyson Hannigan** from American Pie an **Julie Warner** from Doc Hollywood. One is excitable, wacky, and weird. The other is intelligent, independent and always one step ahead of the guys. Both drop dead gorgeous. **Zoggie** – \*\* Cree Summer\*\* Who? Shut up and I’ll tell you! She voices Elmyra Duff from tiny toons. You know “I’ll love it and hug it and squeeze it and love it forever and ever and ever.” Yeah, that’s Zoggie. **Mercutio** – **Keanu Reeves** because he can grow a goatee and join a rock band and play the badass all he wants to but he’s too cute and cuddly to pull it off. We’ll always remember him as Ted “Theodore” Logan. WYLD STALLYNS RULE! **Suasponte** AND **minty green** – **Christopher Reeves**. Remember Superman III? OK, so there was this good Superman and this bad Superman and no one could tell them apart but they both wore the “S” and they both stood for accuracy and righteousness and could be found wherever evil lurked and they fought and it was a struggle for truth, justice, and the American Way. Remember? Yeah…that was cool. It brought a tear to my eye. **andygirl** – I think it’s fairly obvious choice here. **Lucy Lawless.** Awwww yeah…. **Rasa** – I’m gonna go with **Helen Slater** on this one. Legend of Billy Jean? I can see you shaking your fist in the air screaming “Fair is Fair!” Plus, you know, Supergirl. ‘nouf said. **oldscratch** - Jim Breuer because….like…man…he’s so…what the hell was I talking about? Oh yeah. Cheetos! Plus, no one’s seen either of them in a really long time and we want them back in the spotlight. **JDT** – an inanimate carbon rod. **BronzeLion** - That big sillouette of a person with a questionmark in front of it. No, I don’t know who BronzeLion is either. He or she just joined the SDMB a few minutes ago. More coming, I’m sure… ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/70 "2001-08-03T21:07:09Z")
Enderw24 DAHLING, I just MIGHT have to hit you over the head with a vahse! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/71 "2001-08-03T21:13:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > \*\* > **JDT** – an inanimate carbon rod. > \*\* With a loose flap of skin hanging over one end. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/72 "2001-08-03T21:18:44Z")
damn damn DAMN **DAMN**. I meant **SuaSponte** and typed **Sue** instead. Dammit. (please, please please my dear **Sua** chalk it up to bad eyesight, long day, not enough sleep and not a fixation on Johnny Cash, ok?) ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/73 "2001-08-03T21:25:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > **JDT** – an inanimate carbon rod. Complete with cape. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/74 "2001-08-03T21:39:07Z")
James Van Der Beek and Jude Law . . . 🙂 N4S by Drew Barrymore. Airman Doors by Paul Rudd Cecil by Robert DeNiro goboy by Joaquin Phoenix (JP’s nice side) Geobabe by Sela Ward ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/75 "2001-08-03T21:54:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > **JDT** – an inanimate carbon rod. Actually I was thinking more along the lines of Rick Moranis (we do need a comical villain after all). ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/76 "2001-08-03T21:59:00Z")
It came to me in a flash of inspiration - I should be portrayed by **Bette Midler** , a la _Ruthless People_. Yep, I think she’d do me proud… But who could be my **Danny DeVito**?? ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/77 "2001-08-03T22:20:25Z")
> [@](#): > > SPOOFE - William Shatner Nope. > [@](#): > > SPOOFE- John Leguizamo Uh-uh (although I don’t know who that is). You see, **I** would be completely computer-generated, voiced by James Earl Jones. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/78 "2001-08-03T22:27:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > You see, **I** would be completely computer-generated, voiced by James Earl Jones. Would you be wearing a black cape? ::goes off to find someone, anyone, named Luke:: ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/79 "2001-08-03T22:27:37Z")
This is a pretty cool thread cuz I love watching strangers and matching them up to celebrities:) Off the top of my head, here are those that I have long since applied a face to in no particular order. 🙂 Padeye: Brian Dennehy (they gotta look and act the same) Fenris: John Cleese Scylla: Kevin Cline Eve: Anne Archer (class act all the way… the vahse thing) Spoofe: Tim Allen Mercutio: Seth Green Woodystockbirdybird: Ryan Stiles WeirdDave: Jack Black Coldfire: Brando (the horror, the horror) Thinksnow: Jake Busey Eutychus: Neil Patrick Harris Manhattan: David Hyde Pierce jarbabyj: Jeanine Garofalo dropzone: Chris Penn Gaudere: Melissa Gilbert hrdygrl: Drew Barrymore Nymysis: Helena Bonham Carter (fight club role…seems so fitting) Uncle Bill: Gerald McRaney (ooo rah) Crunchy Frog: Wayne Knight Magdalene: Kim Delaney Quadgop: Anthony Hopkins Ogre: Jeff Daniels SuaSponte: John Turturro wring: Rue Paul (Only cuz I’m an idiot and still don’t know if you are male or female) MsRobyn: Holly Hunter Biggirl: Aretha Franklin (Blues Brothers…nuff said) Monster104: James Garner Wildest Bill: Nicholas Cage Steve Wright: Steve Wright, of course CrankyAsAnOldMan: Madaline Kahn Persephone: Megan Price Sue Duhnym: Christa Miller Hamadryad: Julie Louis Dreyfus Tripler: Dan Haggarty Lynn Bodoni: Laura Dern I’m sure there’s a few more that I’ll think of later, but this should do for now. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/80 "2001-08-03T22:48:39Z")
Tripler Dan Haggarty…BWAAHAHAHAHA!!! nahhh…Grizzly Adams he ain’t, I was thinking more like (sorry Trip) Scooter from the Muppet Show… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747.md?page=5)