# Cast the SDMB movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 3, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747 "2001-08-03T04:59:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/81 "2001-08-03T22:49:48Z")
> [@](#): > > wring: Rue Paul chuckle…snort…PFFFFFFFFFT! BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA! Sorry. Anyone who’s actually met the Goddess \*_wring_ will find this one as hysterical as I do. I know Kathy Bates has been mentioned for someone else, but man, she’d make a perfect wring. Oh yeah. As for me…hm. **BunnyGirl’s** choice of Lucille Ball is obvious (it’s the hair), but Stevie Nicks? I find that one _really_ flattering. But my singing voice leaves something to be desired. Like earplugs. **UncleBeer:** Young Charlton Heston. Not because of the gun thing, though, but because he was a **major** hottie. Big time. Hoooooo buddy. 😃 \*\*thinksnow:[/b} Young Vincent Price. I saw an old Vincent Price flick on TCM a couple of weeks ago, and I swear to the Goddess, I could not stop drooling. And when they showed him shirtless…all’s I can say is man, I was born WAY too late. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/82 "2001-08-03T22:50:51Z")
I hate it when I do that. ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/83 "2001-08-03T22:54:54Z")
Ben Affleck? I HAVE heard that people tell him he looks like me… 😛 **Stoid**? - Betty freakin’ Page, baby. **TequilaMockingbird** - Fairuza Balk, sensual and dangerous (but not nearly stacked enough ;)) **Eve** - Judi Dench (not in a period piece, more like in _As Time Goes By_) **TruePisces** - Estella Warren **purplebear** - Reese Witherspoon **AbbySthrnAccent** - Angie Harmon **GingeroftheNorth** - Elizabeth Hurley (as a redhead) **hardygrrl** - Denise Richards **screech-owl** - Sela Ward, no question. **Arden Ranger** - Brigitte Nielsen, a la _Red Sonja_. [sub]Can’t picture Arden as anything less than a Frazetta or Vallejo painting.[/sub] **Coldfire** - Mark Wahlberg, but with a longer prosthesis. [sub]and vigorous acting lessons.[/sub] **UncleBeer** - John Goodman if he pulls a DeNiro and gets svelte for the role. **SuaSponte** - Val Kilmer **Weirddave** - Steve Buscemi (kind of a latter-day Peter Lorre) **SPOOFE** - Anthony Daniels 😛 **Tygr** - Oded Fehr ---
**Author:** ![sewalk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@sewalk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sewalk)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/84 "2001-08-03T22:55:25Z")
Cool, it looks like I can still get Kevin Spacey to play me. Of course, we’ll have to convince him to shave his head for the role. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/85 "2001-08-03T23:01:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > **Mercutio – Keanu Reeves** Woah, I know Kung Fu. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/86 "2001-08-03T23:06:22Z")
Rue Paul? hmmm bwhahahhahahahha ahem. \*\*bwhahahahahahahahaha \*\* Let’s see, (peering in shirt) yep, female. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/87 "2001-08-03T23:06:46Z")
**Drew Barrymore?** **Denise Richards?** I like this game. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2001, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/88 "2001-08-03T23:40:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Would you be wearing a black cape? [You tell me](http://jmspoofe.tripod.com/drawings/SPOOFEdrawingC.htm). Although that cape is more gray-ish. ---
**Author:** ![Turbo\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@Turbo\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turbo_Dog)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/89 "2001-08-04T01:35:17Z")
Two bad calls eh? Well hey, gimme a break. I’m working off of imagination here! Tripler… I dunno, he still strikes me as a flintlock toting, flannel wearing guy with a lot of critters around him. Wring. Sorry, I just wasn’t sure. I guess this means a hot date is out of the question? Knowing the difference now I’d go with Rebecca Demornay. (an attitude thing) sewalk: Ed Harris. Uncle Beer: Robert Shaw (Quinn role, of course). Carina42: Patricia Richardson Odieman: John Cryer Arden Ranger: Gail O’Grady KKBattousai: D.B. Wong ExTank: Woody Harrelson Johnny LA: Bruce Willis (Hudson Hawk role) Shayna: Mira Sorvino Manservant Hercubus: Jeff Goldblum Astroboy: John Cusack FairyChatMom: Joan Rivers. (Bette Midler would be close too but I would never have her in my movie). Broomstick: Ellen Barkin ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/90 "2001-08-04T02:20:48Z")
I would have picked these until I saw pictures of them… **iampunha** …Bono **Esprix** …Scott Thompson from Kids in the Hall **Matt\_Mcl** …Craig Schaeffer **Crunchy Frog** …the guy who played the lead in Office Space-sorry, both the character name and actor’s name completely escape me. **UncleBill** …a young Bill Murray **blur** …Damon Alburn **True Pisces** …Stevie Nicks **Falcon** …Ione Skye **Verrain** …Rupert Everett **Mauvaise** …Juliette Binoche **Tripler** …Triple H **Racinchikki** …Christina Ricci ---
**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/91 "2001-08-04T02:39:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hardygrrl \* > \*\ ***Crunchy Frog** …the guy who played the lead in Office Space-sorry, both the character name and actor’s name completely escape me. > \*\* Ron Livingston played “Peter Gibbons” in _Office Space_. Good one, **hardygrrl**. ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/92 "2001-08-04T03:25:58Z")
Thanks Katiekilldare. 🙂 I was too lazy to do a Google search and saying I thought he looked like Mark McGuire would have made his ego explode. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/93 "2001-08-04T04:17:08Z")
Here are a few of mine. I’m including deceased actors, because my powers are such that I can transcend space and time. **Fenris** : Kevin Smith. **Scylla** : Tommy Lee Jones. **Coldfire** : Since he’s been called a nazi so many times, I’m tempted to say Werner Kemplerer. If the rumors about Uncle Milty are true, we might want him to be a body double for Coldfire’s trans-Atlantic penis. Which, in the stupendous special effects extravaganza of a climax, will sink the Titanic. **Qadgop the Mercotan** : Vincent Price in a shiny silver jumpsuit. **SuaSponte** : Tom Cruise **thinksnow** : Wilford Brimley (no particular reason, I just wanted Wilford Brimley to be in the movie) **JDT** : Crispen Glover I, of course, shall be played by the Taco Bell Chihuahua. But I shall be voiced by Barry White. ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/94 "2001-08-04T04:52:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tygr \* > \ > **AbbySthrnAccent** - Angie Harmon > \ > **Tygr** - Oded Fehr \*\* Hot Diggity! This is a fun game. **Hardygrrl** says Ashley Judd, **Cartooniverse** says Bonnie Bonnie Bedelia, and **Tygr** says Angie Harmon. Which I find amazingly complimentary and ironic since I drew up near Dallas not far from where she grew up. May I have multiple personality disorder and be played by all three? Oh and **Tygr** , if I were casting Brad Pitt would play you. Rroawrr! Abby ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/95 "2001-08-04T05:02:50Z")
isn’t Bad News Baboon making a cameo? ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/96 "2001-08-04T05:14:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bad News Baboon \* > \*\*isn’t Bad News Baboon making a cameo? \*\* Cameo played by King Kong. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/97 "2001-08-04T05:22:50Z")
When I think of **Eve,** I tend to picture _Meet John Doe_-era Barbara Stanwyck. With Deanna Durbin doing the singing. **Elenfair** would be played by beautiful Minnie Driver. **Welfy** (bless her, where has she gone?) would definitely be portrayed by Alanis Morrissette. The roles of **hardygrrl** and **jarbabyj** , of course, would require the Olsen twins. Just kidding. ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/98 "2001-08-04T05:51:08Z")
**Cecil Adams** - André Gregory **eunoia** - self-cast as ostensibly creepy but underappreciated bit player William Sadler ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/99 "2001-08-04T06:46:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by woodstockbirdybird \* > **Jack Batty** , you’re dead on with the **Snooooopy** /PSH casting. > \*\* Did you guys see the resemblance on your own, or did I happen to tell you how more than one person kept telling me how I looked like him just after “Boogie Nights” came out? ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2001, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747/100 "2001-08-04T14:31:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AlbertRose \* > > The roles of **hardygrrl** and **jarbabyj** , of course, would require the Olsen twins. > > Just kidding. Now that’s funny. One Olsen twin calling people clitnibblers and the other talking about getting fingercuffed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cast-the-sdmb-movie/74747.md?page=6)