# Castrating and Killing Justin Bieber **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 15, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113 "2012-12-15T14:52:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/1 "2012-12-15T14:52:29Z")
I am not a Justin Bieber fan, but this story jumped right out at me: [Justin Bieber’s murder, castration plotted, police say](http://edition.cnn.com/2012/12/13/us/justin-bieber-murder-plot/index.html?iref=allsearch) Seems there was a male prison inmate in New Mexico who developed a fascination with Justin Bieber, to the extent that he hed Bieber’s image tattooed on his leg. The inmate was upset at the perceived slight of Bieber not responding to his letters. So the inmate somehow masterminded a plot from prison in which an ex-con and his nephew would kidnap, castrate and kill Bieber. Excerpt: \*\*"… the plan called for the uncle and nephew to first kill two other people, in Vermont, the affidavit said. "But the entire scheme to kill a total of four people, including Bieber, unraveled when the uncle and nephew missed their turn on a Vermont road and ended up heading toward the Canadian border on November 19, authorities said. ## “There, a U.S. Border Patrol agent at the Highgate Springs crossing arrested the uncle, Mark Aaron Staake, 41, because he was found to have an outstanding warrant for a felony parole violation out of New Mexico, authorities said.”\*\* Again, I am no Bieber fan, I am not convinced he has not already been castrated, but this boggles the mind. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/2 "2012-12-15T16:44:40Z")
How bizarre that this guy could find _two_ other people willing to kill a big name celeb because the celeb has, er, spurned the love of a prison inmate, and basically never calls and never writes. I hope, at the least, it will turn out he offered them cash money for the hit, or my head will assplode. ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/3 "2012-12-15T17:04:30Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > How bizarre that this guy could find _two_ other people willing to kill a big name celeb because the celeb has, er, spurned the love of a prison inmate, and basically never calls and never writes. I hope, at the least, it will turn out he offered them cash money for the hit, or my head will assplode. They were going to get paid 2,500 “per testicle”, which seems like a pretty decent pay for a days work. Curious who the other two victims were going to be, though. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/4 "2012-12-15T17:08:19Z")
That “mayhem” GPS system will fuck you over every time. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/5 "2012-12-15T17:08:37Z")
> [@Simplicio](#): > > They were going to get paid 2,500 “per testicle”, which seems like a pretty decent pay for a days work. > > Curious who the other two victims were going to be, though. Thanks, I opened the link but didn’t read down that far. They could get more than that selling them on ebay. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/6 "2012-12-15T17:10:57Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Thanks, I opened the link but didn’t read down that far. They could get more than that selling them on ebay. 😛 Or right here on the Straight Dope. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/7 "2012-12-15T17:11:07Z")
At the end the guy talks about nipping the plot in the bud… Eeewwww! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/8 "2012-12-15T17:12:39Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > Or right here on the Straight Dope. 😉 Yeah, when I saw this thread I PM’d our resident Bieber fanatic to point it out to her. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/9 "2012-12-15T17:29:45Z")
I’m opposed to this in theory. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/10 "2012-12-15T17:33:04Z")
Way to take a stand! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/11 "2012-12-15T17:36:35Z")
I dunno why, but one of my first thoughts was that Bieber balls would go well with the [Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4034787.stm). ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/12 "2012-12-15T17:55:30Z")
Aren’t beaver balls a delicacy? _Ace tiptoes out of thread._ ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/13 "2012-12-15T19:03:14Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Aren’t beaver balls a delicacy? Castor/castrate, beaver/Bieber – it’s an example of the literacy problem in prisons. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/14 "2012-12-15T19:16:59Z")
Anyone know what kind of phone the would-be killers had? Maybe Apple Maps _saved_ lives this time. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/15 "2012-12-15T19:21:12Z")
The simple pro-death penalty lesson: if Martin had been executed for the original murder that put him inside, he’d never live to threaten three people The better anti-death penalty lesson: Martin’s incarceration with the level of monitoring it afforded enabled authorities to catch two bad actors on the outside with obvious predispositions for torture and murder. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/16 "2012-12-15T19:33:32Z")
How exactly did the inmate propose to then remove Bieber’s testicles from the tatoo’d image on his leg? I just don’t think he thought this whole thing through very carefully. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/17 "2012-12-16T01:06:38Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > How bizarre that this guy could find _two_ other people willing to kill a big name celeb because the celeb has, er, spurned the love of a prison inmate, and basically never calls and never writes. We only heard about this incident because the perps got caught. It makes me wonder how many other celebrities are butchered by lovelorn prison inmates and we never even hear about it! > [@Simplicio](#): > > Curious who the other **two** victims were going to be, though. Three. The other three victims, It said the plot involved first killing two people in Vermont but that four total were to die including Bieber. This sounds like the Rube Goldberg version of a murder plot. > [@Marley23](#): > > I’m opposed to this in theory. I normally would be. But, hey, it _is_ Justin Bieber. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/18 "2012-12-16T07:41:59Z")
Wait…Justin Bieber has testicles? ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/19 "2012-12-16T08:12:36Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Three. The other three victims, It said the plot involved first killing two people in Vermont but that four total were to die including Bieber. This sounds like the Rube Goldberg version of a murder plot. The last 2 were Justin Bieber **and** his bodyguard. Reasonable to expect that you would have to kill the bodyguard too. (But I don’t understand the other 2 in Vermont.) ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2012, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113/20 "2012-12-16T12:14:24Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > The last 2 were Justin Bieber **and** his bodyguard. Reasonable to expect that you would have to kill the bodyguard too. (But I don’t understand the other 2 in Vermont.) Probably Beiber’s fans. I mean, how many can there be? 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/castrating-and-killing-justin-bieber/644113.md?page=2)