# Casual transphobia by host at a party **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 14, 2015, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casual-transphobia-by-host-at-a-party/731168 "2015-09-14T01:48:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casual-transphobia-by-host-at-a-party/731168/21 "2015-09-15T16:12:40Z")
> [@ekedolphin](#): > > Also true… if I jump to Conclusions, I have to swim my way back. > > I guess I’m assuming transphobia because it’s a conservative church, and because a guy in the same Sunday school class as us used the “slippery slope” argument when the same-sex marriage decision came down. “Next they’ll be wanting three-way marriage, or marriage with animals.” > > But the moment for asking has passed, so I’ll try and give the party host the benefit of the doubt. He’s a nice guy, and it _was_ one hell of a party. You know what they say when someone “assumes”, it means they don’t know the facts. 😉 Actually, the moment has not passed. It’s simple to say, “Thanks for the invite. That was one hellava party. I didn’t hear your Caitlin Jenner quip at the end but thought it might be funny.” You don’t have to tell him you thought it was a “little” funny (meaning odd/crude/thoughtless). _It’s better to light a candle than to curse the darkness_. - some Chinese guy ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casual-transphobia-by-host-at-a-party/731168/22 "2015-09-15T18:57:01Z")
> [@Napier](#): > > “Transphobia” doesn’t imply fear. It means anti trans bigotry. Yes, the origin of the word was based on fear, but “transphobia” and “homophobia” have both evolved in meaning. Word mean things. If you mean bigotry, say so. Part of the problem in communication with people you disagree with is coming to common terms. That’s impossible if you change the meaning of the words. Not everyone gets the PC Dictionary updates. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casual-transphobia-by-host-at-a-party/731168/23 "2015-09-15T20:02:09Z")
> [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > Word mean things. If you mean bigotry, say so. Part of the problem in communication with people you disagree with is coming to common terms. That’s impossible if you change the meaning of the words. Not everyone gets the PC Dictionary updates. Yes, words mean things. In English, “transphobia” means “bigotry against transexuals.” This isn’t exactly a new coinage, here. “Transphobia” is clearly building off the etymology of “homophobia,” and homophobia lost its clinical meaning about forty years ago; it’s been the standard term for prejudice against gays ever since. This is not, as you suggest, a problem in communication, because there aren’t actually very many people who genuinely do not understand this. Including you. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casual-transphobia-by-host-at-a-party/731168/24 "2015-09-15T21:20:43Z")
> [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > Word mean things. If you mean bigotry, say so. Part of the problem in communication with people you disagree with is coming to common terms. That’s impossible if you change the meaning of the words. Not everyone gets the PC Dictionary updates. Your PC Dictionary is about 20 years out of date. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casual-transphobia-by-host-at-a-party/731168/25 "2015-09-16T01:18:19Z")
> [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > Word mean things. If you mean bigotry, say so. Part of the problem in communication with people you disagree with is coming to common terms. That’s impossible if you change the meaning of the words. Not everyone gets the PC Dictionary updates. The people here that you’re criticizing are the ones who are using the word correctly. YOU’RE the one changing the meaning. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casual-transphobia-by-host-at-a-party/731168/26 "2015-09-17T17:34:54Z")
FYI, phobia also refers to an aversion. Like in “hydrophobia,” which refers not to a fear of water, but that some substance are averse to interacting with water. So, **Inna Minnit** , you’re doubly wrong. ---
**Author:** ![brickbacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casual-transphobia-by-host-at-a-party/731168/27 "2015-09-17T22:05:20Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > The fact that she wasn’t deadnamed doesn’t mean that she wasn’t being mocked on the basis of her gender, via snark about the attention her public transition has garnered. Lots of people are mocking the idea of her being a “hero” because they haven’t absolutely no comprehension of the difficulty of transitioning outside the public spotlight, let alone within it. They also have no comprehension about how many people have been emboldened to live authentic lives because of a visible public figure doing likewise. Or they just thought Bruce Jenner was a narcissistic, washed-up asshole before he transitioned? Or maybe they have been appalled by the way Caitlyn seems to be shirking responsibility for the fatal car accident she caused a few months ago? Or maybe they are less than impressed when Caitlyn pretends to be Bruce whenever it’s [convenient](http://www.people.com/article/i-am-cait-caitlyn-jenner-golf-club-membership-locker-room). For example, when you are applying to a country club and you, “don’t [want] to worry about locker rooms and all that crap right now”. > [@](#): > > What’s in a name? That’s the question Sunday’s episode of I Am Cait asks when Caitlyn Jenner decides to use her former name, Bruce, on an application for a golf course membership. > > “I don’t understand why you’re putting Bruce down, as opposed to Caitlyn,” Jenner friend Ronda Kamihira says in an exclusive clip from the episode. > > Jenner explains the dilemma, saying her golf course of choice at Sherwood Country Club is down for construction, but there’s a separate course there that she can join. Because her membership at Sherwood is under Bruce, she thinks that will make the process more speedy. > > “Are you going to wear your hoodie and pretend?” asks Kamihira, to which Jenner says, “Probably. Once I get out on the course I’ll take that off.” Very heroic as I am sure you’d agree. Now yes, could the guy be a transphobic piece of garbage like this [guy](http://www.rawstory.com/2015/06/arizona-pastor-prays-for-god-to-rip-out-caitlyn-jenners-heart-i-hate-him-with-a-perfect-hatred/), but it’s hard to judge such a thing with such imperfect information. Especially when it involves someone who was widely condemned and ridiculed before they transitioned. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2015, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casual-transphobia-by-host-at-a-party/731168/28 "2015-09-18T22:52:41Z")
> [@brickbacon](#): > > Or they just thought Bruce Jenner was a narcissistic, washed-up asshole before he transitioned? Or maybe they have been appalled by the way Caitlyn seems to be shirking responsibility for the fatal car accident she caused a few months ago? Or maybe they are less than impressed when Caitlyn pretends to be Bruce whenever it’s [convenient](http://www.people.com/article/i-am-cait-caitlyn-jenner-golf-club-membership-locker-room). For example, when you are applying to a country club and you, “don’t [want] to worry about locker rooms and all that crap right now”. > > Very heroic as I am sure you’d agree. > > Now yes, could the guy be a transphobic piece of garbage like this [guy](http://www.rawstory.com/2015/06/arizona-pastor-prays-for-god-to-rip-out-caitlyn-jenners-heart-i-hate-him-with-a-perfect-hatred/), but it’s hard to judge such a thing with such imperfect information. Especially when it involves someone who was widely condemned and ridiculed before they transitioned. It’s the “hero” reference that seems transphobic, since that is a meme in transphobic circles. To the point that I’m really disappointed with South Park for using it. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2015, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casual-transphobia-by-host-at-a-party/731168/29 "2015-09-19T03:34:58Z")
There are transphobic circles with well-known memes? Damn I’m falling way further behind than I thought… (no, seriously, 100% oblivious to the notion that it would be widely recognized as some sort of dogwhistle) ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2015, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casual-transphobia-by-host-at-a-party/731168/30 "2015-09-19T05:58:42Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > That is very likely what was meant. Someone doesn’t have to be transphobic to be a bit :rolleyes: at the constant pushing of Caitlyn Jenner as a hero. Give her an ESPY award! Give her a Congressional Medal of Honor! When she dies, have her lie in state – screw Rosa Parks! The joke was probably that this “heroism” is so shallow, it can be trumped by the act of bringing someone a beer. Unacceptable? I don’t think so. Well said. I’m kind of meh about Caitlyn Jenner’s story and don’t pay much attention to it, but the absurd amount of praise the media dished out and the absurd claims of heroism are kind of … absurd. Being a wealthy celebrity and going on talk shows is not heroism, regardless of whether you’re transitioning to a new gender, promoting anti-vaccine claims, or campaigning for starving children in Africa. Heroism means taking risks and making sacrifices for others, not being rich and famous. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2015, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casual-transphobia-by-host-at-a-party/731168/31 "2015-09-19T12:58:32Z")
> [@ITR\_champion](#): > > Well said. I’m kind of meh about Caitlyn Jenner’s story and don’t pay much attention to it, but the absurd amount of praise the media dished out and the absurd claims of heroism are kind of … absurd. Being a wealthy celebrity and going on talk shows is not heroism, regardless of whether you’re transitioning to a new gender, promoting anti-vaccine claims, or campaigning for starving children in Africa. Heroism means taking risks and making sacrifices for others, not being rich and famous. You make a point with some merit, and many people in the trans community are critical of Jenner’s privileged and relatively glamorous cruise through transition. However they also note how she’s improving visibility and helping make others appreciate trans people as people. Being trans in no way guarantees that a person doesn’t also have other features in their personality and life for critics to pick on. Caitlin Jenner had somewhat of a choice to make about whether to try to be a positive spokesperson and role model, versus trying to keep a low profile. She didn’t have any choice about whether to do this as somebody other than who she was, somebody with different baggage, or somebody who didn’t happen to have an automobile accident during the whole experience. There may have been elements of heroism and narcissism in her choice, as there may have been for anybody else in the same rare situation. I propose the net effect of her choices has so far been positive, on balance. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/casual-transphobia-by-host-at-a-party/731168.md?page=1)