# Catholic blessing for our agnostic wedding? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 6, 2006, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catholic-blessing-for-our-agnostic-wedding/375465 "2006-10-06T03:00:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catholic-blessing-for-our-agnostic-wedding/375465/41 "2006-10-09T12:25:54Z")
I swear on my blood and bone it’s not. A civil wedding needs all of ten minutes, counting the time for people to walk in and out of the room. They’re been turned into longer-than-a-mass she-bangs, with vows (not required) and an explanation by the judge or city councilor on the meaning of matrimony (why in Og’s name don’t you just get a priest, they’re actually trained on how to do that), and rice thrown at the spouses as they leave, and… Your kids aren’t having First Communion? No problem! Have a Civil First Communion, where the kid gets to dress like an admiral/over-frumpy Cinderella and obtain a metric buttload of gameboy games! Spend twice as much as the people whose kid is actually having his first Holy Wafer and sip of Blessed Wine! (Will you believe that when the laws enacting drinking age came into effect, some towns tried to stop distribution of communion wine to minors? Oh, no need to joke, reality is way weird all by its lonesome) You don’t want to baptize your kid? No problem! A few months after it’s been born and properly registered, have a Civil Baptism! In some towns you can even have it at City Hall! (No judges have still been stupid enough to have one of these as far as I know, but give them time) Terry Pratchett has a great imagination. But he is joking - these people are not. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2006, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catholic-blessing-for-our-agnostic-wedding/375465/42 "2006-10-09T13:28:29Z")
Google for “bautizo civil”, quotes and all. The pages you’ll find will be in Spanish, but well, I evidently didn’t make them up… ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2006, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catholic-blessing-for-our-agnostic-wedding/375465/43 "2006-10-10T02:35:54Z")
[QUOTE=cerberus] Another point, and an argument for nipping this now. If you accede to the fake Catholic bits now, just wait until if/when a child comes along. Mom will want a Christening, or its fake analog. [/QUOTE] I don’t think so. If you’re atheist, it’s pretty harmless to go along with someone blessing your wedding. Particularly if that someone is your parent. Saying, “oh, now we let her control our wedding. Next she’ll be moving in and making us baptize & circumcise our kid, completely controlling our lives” is stretching things. Newlyweds can set limits on the control mommy or daddy is going to have on their marriage and how they conduct their lives & their kids’ lives. At your wedding you want everyone’s blessings. Accepting… nay - actively soliciting everyone’s blessing is not at all the same thing as letting them control your lives. If you don’t want mom’s blessing then don’t invite her. Tell her to go sit in the bar and drink while you take care of your “special day without you controlling me” business. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2006, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catholic-blessing-for-our-agnostic-wedding/375465/44 "2006-10-10T03:14:55Z")
[QUOTE=levdrakon] If you don’t want mom’s blessing then don’t invite her. Tell her to go sit in the bar and drink while you take care of your “special day without you controlling me” business. [/QUOTE] But getting your mother’s blessing, and having a priest’s blessing, are two different things. Or should be, if your mother isn’t a selfish asshole. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2006, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catholic-blessing-for-our-agnostic-wedding/375465/45 "2006-10-10T03:36:33Z")
[QUOTE=mhendo] But getting your mother’s blessing, and having a priest’s blessing, are two different things. Or should be, if your mother isn’t a selfish asshole. [/QUOTE] But they’re atheist. Whether it’s mom’s blessing or a Catholic priest’s blessing or Satan’s blessing, or a Democrat or Republican’s blessing, shouldn’t matter. Should it? Unless you actually _do_ care who blesses your wedding. For philosophical reasons? Political reasons? Who is it important to you bless your wedding? The state of Nevada? ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2006, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catholic-blessing-for-our-agnostic-wedding/375465/46 "2006-10-10T04:03:01Z")
[QUOTE=levdrakon] But they’re atheist. Whether it’s mom’s blessing or a Catholic priest’s blessing or Satan’s blessing, or a Democrat or Republican’s blessing, shouldn’t matter. Should it? Unless you actually _do_ care who blesses your wedding. For philosophical reasons? Political reasons? Who is it important to you bless your wedding? The state of Nevada? [/QUOTE] It was important to us that nobody _bless_ our wedding, or if they did they could keep it to themselves. Celebrating it with us was just fine. The only thing that came close to a blessing is when the county agreed to give us a marriage license after we affirmed that we were not brother and sister and had the $36 license fee. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2006, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catholic-blessing-for-our-agnostic-wedding/375465/47 "2006-10-10T04:05:53Z")
[QUOTE=cbawlmer] The only thing that came close to a blessing is when the county agreed to give us a marriage license after we affirmed that we were not brother and sister and had the $36 license fee. [/QUOTE] Hah! So you are… oh, nevermind. Got nuthin. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2006, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catholic-blessing-for-our-agnostic-wedding/375465/48 "2006-10-10T04:20:03Z")
[QUOTE=levdrakon] But they’re atheist. Whether it’s mom’s blessing or a Catholic priest’s blessing or Satan’s blessing, or a Democrat or Republican’s blessing, shouldn’t matter. Should it? Unless you actually _do_ care who blesses your wedding. For philosophical reasons? Political reasons? Who is it important to you bless your wedding? The state of Nevada? [/QUOTE] But there’s a blessing, then there’s a blessing. By “mother’s blessing,” i don’t mean an actual religious ritual, i mean the general goodwill and support implicit in the phrase “I hope we have your blessing.” That’s quite different from the specifically religious and ritualistic blessing that would be offered by a Catholic priest. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catholic-blessing-for-our-agnostic-wedding/375465.md?page=2)