# Cats: Natures Most Perfect Living Thing **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 19, 2013, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767 "2013-05-19T22:55:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/1 "2013-05-19T22:55:20Z")
Felines are natures most perfect creation. How, you ask? 1)They are physically superior. They can jump many times their own height. They can fall from multi story buildings and survive. They are lightening quick and agile. They are string and fierce. 2)Felines are beautiful. Their fur is stunning; combined with their grace and agility they are the very definition of grace in motion. 3)They are smart, but not too smart. They can control their environment without destroying it. It was amazing watching my cat make bird calls to draw her victims to her. But cats dont kill all their potential prey. They get extra points for domesticating us humans. They have taught us to bring them food in reyurn for basically nothing. They dont have to milk us or pet us and humans do their bidding. And since they dont have to kill us they will eat as long as their are humans. 4)Cats get to loaf most of the day and still be the King of the Jungle. Who doesnt admire their carefree lifestyle? Can there be any debate that it was really the feline that was made in the imageof God? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/2 "2013-05-19T23:00:46Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > 1)They are physically superior. They can jump many times their own height. They can fall from multi story buildings and survive. They are lightening quick and agile. They are string and fierce. Cats are not string. [Cat](http://www.petfinder.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/99059361-choose-cat-litter-632x475.jpg) [String](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/1f/Spool_of_string.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/3 "2013-05-19T23:00:56Z")
Ants. Ants got cats beat by a mile. In fact, insects in general. But Ants in particular. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/4 "2013-05-19T23:05:57Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Ants. Ants got cats beat by a mile. In fact, insects in general. But Ants in particular. I ant buying this argument. Ants are always working. They are natures day laborers. While ants are out forging for food or being poisoned, cats are napping in a window sill in the morning sun. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/5 "2013-05-19T23:32:17Z")
Cats are psychopaths. Charming but amoral and unempathic. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2013, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/6 "2013-05-19T23:50:36Z")
Actually, as far as mammals go, cats are not very smart at all. Not that that is really a great problem. Remember Man believes he is superior to the Dolphin, and the Dolphin thinks he is superior to Man for exactly the same reasons. I’m much smarter than my cat. That’s why I buy him food, feed him, give him attention when he wants it. Hmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/7 "2013-05-20T00:29:02Z")
The WEB believes she’s the most perfect living thing. Just ask her. Lately she’s taking to sitting like a meatloaf on the DVR thingie. I think she’s trying to hatch it. ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/8 "2013-05-20T00:33:53Z")
> [@Wallaby](#): > > Remember Man believes he is superior to the Dolphin, and the Dolphin thinks he is superior to Man for exactly the same reasons. How’s that? Don’t get me wrong, I like cats. Especially the big ones. But I still think there’s a fair amount of animals better than they are. For instance, horses. You can actually ride those fuckers around. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/9 "2013-05-20T00:52:54Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Cats are psychopaths. Charming but amoral and unempathic. So you’re agreeing with the original statement? Perfect. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/10 "2013-05-20T01:30:04Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Cats are psychopaths. Charming but amoral and unempathic. Cats come off like this, but…when they think we are hungry they bring us a mouse or a bird. When we are sad they will jump on us and rub against us. They also hide their waste…if only dogs would take the hint. ---
**Author:** ![Inbred\_Mm\_domesticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/aca169/32.png) [@Inbred\_Mm\_domesticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inbred_Mm_domesticus)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/11 "2013-05-20T01:45:53Z")
My cat plays with his own shit. More mice have gone to space than cats. Sorry cats, you lose. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/12 "2013-05-20T01:58:09Z")
> [@Inbred\_Mm\_domesticus](#): > > My cat plays with his own shit. > > More mice have gone to space than cats. Sorry cats, you lose. And how many mice have returned? Felines too smart for that game. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/13 "2013-05-20T02:12:45Z")
I like kitties. Kitties make me feel good. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/14 "2013-05-20T02:25:13Z")
My cats definitely think they’re perfect! 🆒 Several weeks ago, I took my male cat to the vet for his annual checkup, and because he’s 13 years old, she recommended that he have blood work. An hour or so (and $300) later, she called me to inform me that “You have a perfect cat!” I replied that I already knew that. He is also free of kidney or thyroid issues, and diabetes. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/15 "2013-05-20T02:35:20Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > How’s that? For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons. -Douglas Adams, _Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy_ ---
**Author:** ![Ibn\_Warraq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19b73/32.png) [@Ibn\_Warraq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibn_Warraq)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/16 "2013-05-20T03:02:29Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Cats come off like this, but…when they think we are hungry they bring us a mouse or a bird. When we are sad they will jump on us and rub against us. They also hide their waste…if only dogs would take the hint. When cats rub up against something what they’re doing is leaving their scent to mark their territory. In short they’re telling other cats you belong to them. The British have a saying. Dogs have owners, cats have staffs. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/17 "2013-05-20T03:12:07Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Cats come off like this, but…when they think we are hungry they bring us a mouse or a bird. When we are sad they will jump on us and rub against us. They also hide their waste…if only dogs would take the hint. cats aren’t smart enough to realize we don’t want to eat the mangled sparrow or mouse they drop before us. cats can’t be leader/helper animals because their only purpose on this planet is to cause harm to human beings. If a blind person had a helper cat, the cat would likely lead said blind person right into the intake of a jet engine. Cats are _dicks._ ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/18 "2013-05-20T03:16:36Z")
> [@Ibn\_Warraq](#): > > The British have a saying. Dogs have owners, cats have staffs. Further evidence of feline perfection cats control us and make us think we control them. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/19 "2013-05-20T03:22:38Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > cats aren’t smart enough to realize we don’t want to eat the mangled sparrow or mouse they drop before us. > > cats can’t be leader/helper animals because their only purpose on this planet is to cause harm to human beings. If a blind person had a helper cat, the cat would likely lead said blind person right into the intake of a jet engine. > > Cats are _dicks._ Cats arent helpers to humans because they have tricked us to be helperpromates to them. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767/20 "2013-05-20T03:37:50Z")
There are some really fantastic cats out there, and there are also some really fucking terrible cats. You can’t just come out and say things like “cat’s are nature’s perfect creation” because not all cats are the same creation. Some are so different they might as well not even be the same species. What are you, some kind of speciesist? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-natures-most-perfect-living-thing/658767.md?page=2)