# Cats say: "Humans is weird" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 15, 2008, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988 "2008-06-15T06:31:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2008, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988/21 "2008-06-16T22:20:13Z")
[QUOTE=fachverwirrt] Apparently our younger cat finds human sexuality endlessly interesting, since she will invariably stare and occasionally lick, um, stuff. Or maybe she’s just a pervert. [/QUOTE] My youngest male cat loves my boyfriend as much as he loves me, so when we are getting affectionate he feels he should be getting some attention too and will try to join in. Sometimes he tries to give love bites or get really playful and swat at things. Not something you want at any time but most especially when you are naked and tender bits are exposed. I guess he thinks we are just having a playful wrestle like he does with his sister and he doesn’t understand why he can’t play too. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988/22 "2008-06-17T06:34:51Z")
I’m sure mine wonder why I have three perfectly good birds, RIGHT IN THE HOUSE, flying about, and they get into trouble (or pecked) for bothering them. Here are a few other things my cats must wonder. Why does the human sit in front of the large brightly lit box, playing with the little square buttons on the flat gray button-y thing and occasionally fall down laughing maniacally? The human regularly immerses herself in an entire HUGE VAT OF WATER!!! We’ve tried several times to rescue her by walking the edge of the vat and extending a helping paw, but she’s apparently too injured or frightened to take our help. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988/23 "2008-06-17T09:06:04Z")
My cat wondered why his thanks were so unappreciated - the fish were very tasty. ---
**Author:** ![nofloyd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nofloyd/32/2870_2.png) [@nofloyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nofloyd)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988/24 "2008-06-17T13:32:46Z")
[QUOTE=Full Metal Lotus] 2) Speaking of water, everymorning, I Get up and stand in a spray of it for a long time… obviously I am too paralysed with fear to make my escape. [/QUOTE] Many years ago, we had a cat that became very distressed if he saw you in water. You’d be washing the dishes, and he would work his way around on the sink, lean over, grab your shirt, arm, or fingers with his teeth, and try to pull you out of the water. So adorable. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988/25 "2008-06-17T14:39:36Z")
[QUOTE=CanvasShoes] I’m sure mine wonder why I have three perfectly good birds, RIGHT IN THE HOUSE, flying about, and they get into trouble (or pecked) for bothering them. [/QUOTE] My cats also wonder why I have prey in a cage and won’t let them have it. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988/26 "2008-06-17T15:07:23Z")
[QUOTE=TroubleAgain] My cats also wonder why I have prey in a cage and won’t let them have it. :smack: [/QUOTE] Same here! However, Cleo is utterly terrified of my bird [used to have 2] and my older bunny, Buster, who tried to woo her with his hot bunny luuuv before I got him fixed. Poor kitty! ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988/27 "2008-06-17T17:17:17Z")
[QUOTE=BaneSidhe] Same here! However, Cleo is utterly terrified of my bird [used to have 2] and my older bunny, Buster, who tried to woo her with his hot bunny luuuv before I got him fixed. Poor kitty! [/QUOTE] One of mine is terrified of the bird, too. [Sunshine’s](http://www.flickr.com/photos/troubleagain/2390730654/in/set-72157602651317786/) a lovebird, and she’s utterly fearless, so she’ll try to attack anything that approaches her cage. [Punky](http://www.flickr.com/photos/troubleagain/2210717456/in/set-72157602651317786/) is just not capable of dealing with the idea of “prey” that attacks instead of running away. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988/28 "2008-06-17T17:23:05Z")
I’m sure our cat wonders why, as fellow litter-mates, we feel we have to change our fur at least twice a day. And why is it we don’t eat out of bowls on the floor like other cats do? Then there’s that whole mystery of the opposing thumbs thing. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988/29 "2008-06-17T17:27:52Z")
[QUOTE=BluePitbull] They must think veterinarians are the wierdest humans. Always sticking them with needles, talk wierd jargon and sticking things up the cats’ butts. [/QUOTE] The cats’ version of Alien Abduction stories. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988/30 "2008-06-17T17:37:16Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] The cats’ version of Alien Abduction stories. [/QUOTE] Great Og! I think you nailed it. What if humans really are some Alien’s pets, and abductions really are vet visits? _gets shifty eyed_ We’d better be careful. If they figure out we’ve wised up to them, it could be us, next! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988/31 "2008-06-17T18:03:06Z")
Why don’t the humans understand it’s a kitty’s job to get to the other side of the door? Well, of course I was just out. Did you think I was finished? I know my peoples love to play, like all noble creatures, but when they pick up one of those shiny sticks and start scratching on paper and wiggling it around, how come they don’t me to get in on the play? ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988/32 "2008-06-17T18:47:39Z")
Three entities live in our house: 1 cat and 2 humans. Total: 3. Therefore, each entity should receive 1/3 of the bed. It is the obvious and fair solution. One human gets 1/3, another human gets 1/3, and the cat gets 1/3. However, the humans are completely uncouth bed pigs, and take up more than their allotted 2/3 of the bed. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988/33 "2008-06-17T19:12:01Z")
My cats have decided that when I am sitting on the white chair that means I am immobile for a few minutes so _obviously_ that is the best time to procure pettings. What else could I possibly be doing when I am just sitting there, after all? ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988/34 "2008-06-17T20:38:25Z")
[QUOTE=pbbth] My cats have decided that when I am sitting on the white chair that means I am immobile for a few minutes so _obviously_ that is the best time to procure pettings. What else could I possibly be doing when I am just sitting there, after all? [/QUOTE] Well, DUH! That’s obviously supposed to be kitty-quality-time! 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cats-say-humans-is-weird/452988.md?page=1)