# catsix, would you stop being so damn defensive? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 3, 2003, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catsix-would-you-stop-being-so-damn-defensive/192686 "2003-08-03T05:02:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catsix-would-you-stop-being-so-damn-defensive/192686/121 "2003-08-04T04:12:19Z")
You have an amazingly broad definition of “assholish,” **Jessity**. Amazingly broad. For purely academic purposes, what post of **Q.E.D.**'s from your third link qualifies as “assholish?” The part where **homercles** tries to pick a fight and **Q.E.D.** refuses to take the bait? The part where, shown he was mistaken, he cheerfully admits to being wrong? Help me out here, because with your standards for “jerk,” I’m surprised you’re not alphabetically pitting every member of the boards, one by one. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catsix-would-you-stop-being-so-damn-defensive/192686/122 "2003-08-04T04:50:26Z")
> [@](#): > > **CnoteChris:** [Guinastasia] … can sit there and attack everyone and everyone to any degree imaginable, but when someone else does it to you, they’ve shown their own ‘true colors’. You really don’t see the difference? Okay, last night I was too pissed off to bother, but here goes: I agree with you, as far as your opinion that **catsix** ’s comments quoted in the OP are not Pitworthy. It’s also not clear from the OP that **Guin** is reacting to a perceived _pattern_ of behaviour, so it’s not unreasonable to characterize her pitting **catsix** on the basis of that one thread as an overreaction. It’s easy to miss that “But why do you **always** seem to have to butt into a thread, guns a’blazin, just to tell us how stupid we are, and how YOU aren’t offended, so no one else should be?” Ideally, she probably would have done a lot better to phrase it more carefully, making it more clear that she was addressing what she saw as a consistent behaviour rather than the isolated event, and to provide links to other examples to support her case, because the single instance just doesn’t seem to demand such a strong response. So yes, I agree that her OP invited criticism. That’s not to say that I think that **Anal Scurvy** ’s “bad man” OP was appropriate for this board at all, and was really worthy of any defense. It seems to me that he doesn’t think it was, either. I also agree that pitting someone for saying “It was just a joke, and it didn’t bother me,” is way out of line. Of course, that’s not what Guinastasia actually did, but it’s understandable that someone might take it that way, since the OP was less than perfectly clear on that point. Personally, I think that we would all do well to try not to let out personal feelings about particular posters colour our perceptions of their individual posts. That’s not always an easy ideal to put into practice, though. At any rate, when it comes to “attacking people to any degree imaginable,” there’s a lot of real-estate between presenting a list of perceived offenses, and the sand-in-your-face tactics you trotted out from the get-go, here, making direct personal attacks that had _absolutely no bearing_ on the subject, going directly for what you may have thought to be the most vulnerable spots. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catsix-would-you-stop-being-so-damn-defensive/192686/123 "2003-08-04T06:02:57Z")
**Larry Mudd** is right. This wasn’t so much a pit about that one comment, but about general board behavior. FWIW, I actually like **catsix** , but I think she comes off, whether she intends to or not, as being self-righteous and haughty. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catsix-would-you-stop-being-so-damn-defensive/192686/124 "2003-08-04T06:17:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by annaplurabelle \* > \*\*This is incorrect. > > Do you know who invented “gallows” humour? _People facing the gallows._ > > Do you think it’s a coincidence that post-WWII comedy in the US was primarily influenced by Jews - children of _holocaust survivors_? > > The Greeks had a holocaust too - remember Zorba the Greek? > “We don’t dance because we are happy, we dance _even though_ we are sad.” > > Do you understand why the British nailed _irony_ and _absurdity_? > > Ever work in a hospital, morgue, police station, or been in a war? > > Laughter is the sound of _survival_. Maybe someone would like to post the definition of **peace**? Is that as subjective as humour too? > > For those offended by **Anal Scurvy** ’s _fictional_ fetus punching: You’re attacking a _real_ human being, _who didn’t even post the joke_. > > Yes, what better way to justify your righteous indignation about the _sanctity of life_ and _human suffering_, than to _gleefully_ rip apart an innocent bystander - someone you’ve obviously been waiting to _attack_. > > But I guess _that’s_ not sick or offensive. > > Feel better soon, **catsix**. \*\* All the people you’re talking about were the _victims_ of violence, not the cause of it. There is a huge difference between the gallows humor of a holocaust survivor and the _sadistic_ humor of a nazi perpetrator. I don’t see anything funny at all about offering to beat a pregnant woman into a miscarriage, and I have as dark a sense of humor as there is. ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catsix-would-you-stop-being-so-damn-defensive/192686/125 "2003-08-04T13:47:17Z")
Good points Larry. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Larry Mudd_ > \*\* Personally, I think that we would all do well to try not to let out personal feelings about particular posters colour our perceptions of their individual posts.\*\* Agreed. My biggest mistake came after I learned the med comment hit closer to home than I’d imagined, and yet I still used it to get in a cheap shot against her. In retrospect, that was pretty lame. That’s not how I want to be, but it’s what I did. For that, I apologize. The rest of it… well, I still stand by I wrote. It was what I was thinking, and it felt damn good to get it out. I thought what was happening was unjust, and I didn’t want to simply pass by without saying anything on it. On the other hand, I don’t want to be known as the poster who always ‘went off’. I think I’ve contributed more than that, but I can see where some think it’s all I’ve posted about around here. In that regard, it’s kinda moot, as I’m simply passing through. When I’m here again, whenever, I’ll take that into account though. Deal? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catsix-would-you-stop-being-so-damn-defensive/192686/126 "2003-08-04T15:01:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\*Folks, I think we’re seeing a Class K meltdown in this thread. \*\* True, and it seems odd. I read **Anal Scurvy** ’s OP. I did not find it funny, but I can see how someone else might. I did not find it all that offensive, either, but I can see how someone else might. Yet it spawns Pit threads, and **manhattan** and **Ed Zotti** to warn **catsix** in particular and the board in general. How do we tell if something is offensive enough for banning? The rule is “We’ll know it when we see it”. Well, I won’t. It honestly didn’t seem like that big a deal to me. Compared with some of the stuff on this board - heck, compared with some of the stuff **I** have posted - it was pretty mild. Stupid and not funny - but over the line? Really? In the only serious Pitting I have ever conducted (that I recall), I made a bunch of statements that might be called “morbid” or “sick humor”. They were joking, at least in part, as I don’t really want anyone to be sodomized or tortured. And if they weren’t offensive, I failed, as I certainly meant them to be. It was a Pitting, for heaven’s sake. But I would not be able to describe, in twenty five words or less, the reason why what I posted was OK and what **Anal Scurvy** posted was not. And I couldn’t describe why **catsix** should be warned and a new rule instigated in a novel the size of War and Peace. I guess I must lack the ability to tell what is truely over the line and what is acceptable. Call it a blind spot. I can only hope that, if and when I go too far, I can be warned first, and not banned immediately. I would like, ifI can, to retain my posting privileges. I wish I knew more about **Anal Scurvy** ’s politics, so I could blame this all on my usual excuse that the moderators are always picking on the conservatives. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catsix-would-you-stop-being-so-damn-defensive/192686/127 "2003-08-04T18:27:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zoe \* > \*\*Well said, and I couldn’t agree with you more – _ **when the humor is directed at oneself or situation** _. Yes, I had a career that required laughter for survival. I taught in inner city high schools for twenty years. > > But one thing I didn’t do was to find humor in cruelty. That seems to come naturally to most people with any sensitivity at all. \*\* Right on. Gallows humor does have a place here, just look at **Eve** ’s threads. The[Katharine Hepburn one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=194298&highlight=hepburn), for example. There should be a line somewhere, though, and it looks like that line is cruelty. Search isn’t working for me at the moment but I recall someone posting that they had stomped kittens and people wondering if that someone was being serious or not. If the new rule imposed by **Ed** had been around then, it might have discouraged such a post. ---
**Author:** ![annaplurabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@annaplurabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/annaplurabelle)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2003, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catsix-would-you-stop-being-so-damn-defensive/192686/128 "2003-08-05T00:47:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Diogenes the Cynic \* > **All the people you’re talking about were the _victims_ of violence, not the cause of it. There is a huge difference between the gallows humor of a holocaust survivor and the _sadistic_ humor of a nazi perpetrator.** Context? That was in response to **Zoe** ’s post about acceptable _topics_ of humour, _not_ source or intent. Huge difference there as well. > [@](#): > > \*\*I don’t see anything funny at all about offering to beat a pregnant woman into a miscarriage, and I have as dark a sense of humor as there is. \*\* And you’re entitled to your opinion, including your opinion of your own sense of humour. But apparently your SoH is not _as dark as there is_, because some people have said they found it amusing. For the record, I didn’t find it funny at all either. The punch line was too weak to carry the morbid set up. Weak as in non-existent (IMO). But I wasn’t offended. There are millions of bad, tasteless, and lame jokes on the internet - I don’t think they’re part of some evil plot to destroy humanity, do you? It’s the offensive content that presents itself as _serious_ that I worry about. But do you see how the _subjective_ qualifiers you (and others) are asserting as an _absolute_ criteria for humour creates a problem? From **Fruitbat** ’s post on this thread (my emphasis): > [@](#): > > \*\*…The problem that arises is that nearly everyone has subjects that they are uncomfortable hearing people joke about. If I am with a person I know well it is easy to be sensitive to those hot buttons. As an aggregate that is impossible… > > If we don’t pick our battles for the people whose intentions are discernibly malevolent, this sensitivity becomes a constant nitpick of people who are offended. I can’t tell people what they should find funny. I can’t tell people where to draw the line. I can ask them to confine their battles to those worth fighting.\*\* Is there anything at all funny about suggesting people eat their children? (Swift’s A Modest Proposal). If we’re going to say that cruelty, horror, or violence in humour is _absolutely_ unacceptable, there’d be almost nothing left of what’s called comedy. It’s part of the human condition. We all indulge in cruelty (or at least, think about indulging), and we’re all victims of cruelty. Basil Fawlty was cruel. Bart Simpson is cruel. The Sopranos? Tarantino films? Even children’s cartoons are full of cruel and/or violent characters. It’s a way to release our own “evil” vicariously, _and_ savour watching evil plans go wrong. Or, as in Swift’s satire, condemn our hypocrisy, and expose the _real_ horror and evil we might otherwise _avoid_ facing up to. As to whether or not it belongs _here_ (SDMB) - that’s not my call, and I have no problem with admin controlling content for _any_ reason they decide. **Shodan** : FWIW, I’ve got the blind spot too. 🆒 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/catsix-would-you-stop-being-so-damn-defensive/192686.md?page=6)