# Cattle mutes, Marley's death, and our newest Carol **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 21, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920 "2010-04-21T21:22:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/1 "2010-04-21T21:22:02Z")
From [Ok,Im new here,Carol is the name](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=560113). That business of reasonable explanations for your posts has been gone over many times.The question of just why you’re not a troll remains unanswed.If honest intentions are the reason for your posts of course there would be explanation,some attempt at two-way discussion would be present.But there not.Ok **Marley23** and **Miller** mentioned that I can’t call a troll a troll outside of the pit.Each and every one of those trolls can be identified in or around a thread by the method and the tracks they leave at the sight.Im seeing troll tracks all over that thread. Thats what got all of this started in the first place. A poster finds a new member walks over to it and the first thing hes got to do is determine that the new person doest threaten the rest of the board. When he comes across a troll the first thing he notices is that his own anus has been cored,the ufo has been removed,sometimes the crop circles around the bavaria and fountain pen have been glumphed,he knows thru copper pipes of zlifs that brinndla io krelmph sasfoewrn normal. Are ya with me so far? Cuz that’s my game. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/2 "2010-04-21T21:53:03Z")
Nicely done, bee-yatch. ---
**Author:** ![llcoolbj77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb9ed0/32.png) [@llcoolbj77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llcoolbj77)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/3 "2010-04-21T21:58:35Z")
The first time I posted on the SDMB, I was completely shat upon because I did not use capitilization… a bad email habit of mine. I can’t believe how nice everyone was to **carol**. Seriously, dat bitch is crazy. Oh and since I’m also new here… what is a troll? What is trolling? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/4 "2010-04-21T22:02:35Z")
I accidentally a whole cow ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/5 "2010-04-21T22:06:03Z")
We just spotted a butthurt poster in the field. I wonder what caused it. Government aliens I bet. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/6 "2010-04-21T22:30:37Z")
> [@llcoolbj77](#): > > Oh and since I’m also new here… what is a troll? What is trolling? [Troll.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troll_%28Internet%29) ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/7 "2010-04-21T22:42:23Z")
> [@SoulFrost](#): > > Cattle mutes, Marley’s death, and our newest Carol Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/8 "2010-04-21T22:46:11Z")
lolcowz: i can be cheezburger? ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/9 "2010-04-21T22:46:29Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > I accidentally a whole cow accidentally what? ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/10 "2010-04-21T22:47:52Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > accidentally what? That’s the question, isn’t it? There’re _always_ questions. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/11 "2010-04-21T22:58:00Z")
> [@pedescribe](#): > > accidentally what? The entire cow! ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/12 "2010-04-21T22:58:02Z")
> [@SoulFrost](#): > > From [Ok,Im new here,Carol is the name](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=560113). That’s five minutes of my life and a handful of brain cells that I’d like back, please. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/13 "2010-04-21T23:02:31Z")
That thread was completely inane. Well, the first handful of posts I now regret reading anyway. The lack of punctuation, line spacing and general intelligence in that thread set my monitor and keyboard afire with the stupid. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/14 "2010-04-21T23:03:34Z")
> [@Ok,Im new here,Carol is the name](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/13): > > A cow dies out on the range. The first thing that scavengers, such as coyotes, eat are the soft and easy parts, like chewing out the anus… Fuck! That ought to teach not to open troll threads. Talk about thing I didn’t need to know…:eek: ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/15 "2010-04-21T23:07:46Z")
OTOH, this was fuckin’ funny: > [@Ok,Im new here,Carol is the name](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/9): > > I’m guessing that you disagree. So, let’s get to it–what do you think causes cattle mutilations? > [@Ok,Im new here,Carol is the name](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ok-im-new-here-carol-is-the-name/536534/10): > > Low self-esteem? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/16 "2010-04-21T23:11:22Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. > Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail. Touche, old bean. To you. _clink_ ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/17 "2010-04-21T23:18:03Z")
Who killed **Marley**? He’s a dude who doesn’t usually piss me off. We need more of those. As for the Guest of Honor–she’s either a nutter, a sock, a troll, or some combination thereof. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/18 "2010-04-21T23:21:48Z")
Nusotroll? Nutrock? Trosonut? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/19 "2010-04-21T23:23:50Z")
I vote for “Nutrock”, which otherwise would make a great band name. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/20 "2010-04-21T23:24:59Z")
I was going to say “Nutsock”, for the obvious dirty pun. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920.md?page=2)