# Cattle mutes, Marley's death, and our newest Carol **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 21, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920 "2010-04-21T21:22:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/61 "2010-04-23T00:30:12Z")
I’ve read “Ethyl the Aardvark Goes Quantity Surveying”, but I don’t think she was mute. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/62 "2010-04-23T00:35:38Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > That’s five minutes of my life and a handful of brain cells that I’d like back, please. I missread this as five minutes of \*my wife \*and a handful of brain cells. It was oddly compelling. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/63 "2010-04-23T00:39:29Z")
> [@conurepete](#): > > Don’t go, just state your positions more coherently and earlier on in the thread. There are people here who can think so differently they can make you put a wedding ring up your nose from 200 miles away! They just require citations of multiple sources and critical thinking skills when supporting a hypothesis. That reminds me! I’m remarried now and have a different ring! I have to recheck! Yep! it fits! So does hubby’s (in his nose, not mine!) ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/64 "2010-04-23T00:40:24Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > I missread this as five minutes of \*my wife \*and a handful of brain cells. > > It was oddly compelling. My having a wife is illegal in my state. Luckily, having a brain (or just a handful of cells) is not. ---
**Author:** ![Pyper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pyper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyper)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/65 "2010-04-23T01:47:28Z")
The paranoiacs are certainly coming out of the woodwork lately. I think the government is putting something in the water. _shifty eyes_ ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/66 "2010-04-23T11:57:56Z")
> [@RedFury](#): > > OTOH, this was fuckin’ funny: > > 🙂 That was hilarious. Worth reading the entire thread. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/67 "2010-04-23T14:26:44Z")
What do you think? The space bar on her computer is broken? Or she’s missing a thumb? Or, y’know, blacker than black alien activity? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/68 "2010-04-23T14:43:09Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > What do you think? The space bar on her computer is broken? Or she’s missing a thumb? Either her hands or her spacebar has been muted. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/69 "2010-04-23T17:07:51Z")
[dont blame the eagle](http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html) ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2010, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/70 "2010-04-25T07:06:45Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > The same dastard who killed **Idle Thoughts**? Did he ever get around to finishing that? Oh, and I though maybe you’d went all dyslexic on us, but apparently dastard is a real word. I’ve heard of dastardly, so I should have figured it out… ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/71 "2010-04-25T16:20:41Z")
Really? I always thought “dastard” was a joke word, a mistaken nounification\* of “dastardly”. No idea that it was really real. \*Nounification: turning something into a noun. Not a real word either. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2010, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/72 "2010-04-25T17:46:28Z")
> [@Mighty\_Girl](#): > > **Marley** is most certainly _not_ dead. He’s just pining for the fjords. Misspelled fnords. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/73 "2010-04-26T11:36:42Z")
This is for carol\_nistri: Boy, you are one fucking stupid cow, aren’t you? ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/74 "2010-04-26T16:29:40Z")
Is a niggardly person a niggard? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/75 "2010-04-26T17:07:45Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Is a niggardly person a niggard? Yes. In act 4 of Macbeth, Macduff tells Ross “Be not a niggard of your speech; how goes’t?” Malcolm interrupts and says “I prithee, cos’, use not that word. It soundeth much like t’other word many uncouth villains use to describe Ethiopes, blackamoors and men of Ind, and divers persons with skin like blackest pitch.” Macduff then makes a long speech about “Wherefore might they use that word when they talk amongst themselves and yet gentlemen like you and I durst not say it?” Malcolm tells him to drop it and Ross tells Macduff he has bigger problems anyway because his family has just been killed. The whole thing is considered one of the most unnecessary PC diversions in Shakespeare. But it did inspire Robert Armin’s famous comedy routine “That Niggard’s Crazy.” ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/76 "2010-04-26T17:23:38Z")
Well done, sir, well done! ---
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/77 "2010-04-26T20:00:03Z")
_Very_ well done! :golf clap: ---
**Author:** ![Sorrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Sorrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sorrel)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/78 "2010-04-26T21:32:34Z")
Read this thread, read the other thread. What’s wrong with you people? Crop circles are caused by hippy types rolling around trying not to spew on their sandals after ingesting mushrooms of the magic type. Everyone knows cattle mutilation are caused by werewolves. The bastards. ---
**Author:** ![Lunchy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Lunchy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunchy)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/79 "2010-04-27T00:07:48Z")
I know this is far off topic but read the original thread that lead to this (cant find it now) but, is the whole crop circle business supposed to happen over night, or cant they take a few days to make! I know a few areas out in the country the only thing that flies overhead is commercial airliners, never any single engine ‘crop duster’ type planes! Use to live right infront of a corn field, we use to go build things out in the corn and play and not see the farmers out there for days! ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/80 "2010-04-27T00:12:18Z")
> [@ParsnipPicker](#): > > Read this thread, read the other thread. > > What’s wrong with you people? > > Crop circles are caused by hippy types rolling around trying not to spew on their sandals after ingesting mushrooms of the magic type. > > Everyone knows cattle mutilation are caused by werewolves. > > The bastards. Sure, you’d like us to believe that, wouldn’t you? Who is paying you to spread this disinformation hmmmmmmm? Maybe some black ops guys? Go ahead and collect your payment. Your 40 pieces of cow anus. We’re onto you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920.md?page=5)