# Cattle mutes, Marley's death, and our newest Carol **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 21, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920 "2010-04-21T21:22:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/81 "2010-04-27T00:19:22Z")
I’m just sad that this whole thread is giving a bad name to cow anuses. ---
**Author:** ![lazybratsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ba8739/32.png) [@lazybratsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazybratsche)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/82 "2010-04-27T01:17:39Z")
_claps_ And that is why I hang out on this board. And shit. ---
**Author:** ![Sorrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Sorrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sorrel)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/83 "2010-04-27T19:25:48Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > Sure, you’d like us to believe that, wouldn’t you? Who is paying you to spread this disinformation hmmmmmmm? Maybe some black ops guys? > > Go ahead and collect your payment. Your 40 pieces of cow anus. > > We’re onto you. You have no idea how valuable these samples are to my people. 40 pieces of cow anus is well above my pay scale. I’ll be lucky to get a handful of eyelids and an udder scrapping. Not so much as a sniff at an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![lazybratsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ba8739/32.png) [@lazybratsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazybratsche)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/84 "2010-04-27T19:39:00Z")
> [@ParsnipPicker](#): > > You have no idea how valuable these samples are to my people. 40 pieces of cow anus is well above my pay scale. I’ll be lucky to get a handful of eyelids and an udder scrapping. Not so much as a sniff at an asshole. I see you’re new here. You’ll fit in nicely. For an alien, that is. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/85 "2010-04-29T02:16:13Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Yes. In act 4 of Macbeth, Macduff tells Ross “Be not a niggard of your speech; how goes’t?” Malcolm interrupts and says “I prithee, cos’, use not that word. It soundeth much like t’other word many uncouth villains use to describe Ethiopes, blackamoors and men of Ind, and divers persons with skin like blackest pitch.” Macduff then makes a long speech about “Wherefore might they use that word when they talk amongst themselves and yet gentlemen like you and I durst not say it?” Malcolm tells him to drop it and Ross tells Macduff he has bigger problems anyway because his family has just been killed. The whole thing is considered one of the most unnecessary PC diversions in Shakespeare. But it did inspire Robert Armin’s famous comedy routine “That Niggard’s Crazy.” Ahem, now that the above brilliant post is at large upon the internet, look for it to be incorporated into ‘Blue Blood is Black Blood’ at the earliest opportunity. Maybe Carol could contact Edmond via the tinfoil hat net. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/86 "2010-04-29T06:29:50Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Is a niggardly person a niggard? [Yes.](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/niggard) However, you can only call him that if you also are a niggard. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/87 "2010-04-29T13:30:17Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > [Yes.](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/niggard) However, you can only call him that if you also are a niggard. I guess so but it just seems more polite to call them a StingyNorse-American. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/88 "2010-04-29T13:42:13Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Ahem, now that the above brilliant post is at large upon the internet, look for it to be incorporated into ‘Blue Blood is Black Blood’ at the earliest opportunity. > > Maybe Carol could contact Edmond via the tinfoil hat net. Thanks. But be careful what you wish for. If Carol ever meets Egmond, one day some newbie might register here and start posting about his theory that all cows are secretly black (some of them look white but that’s just where the paint is falling off) and the government is trying to keep it a secret by mutilating them and stealing their assholes. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/89 "2010-04-29T14:26:56Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Thanks. But be careful what you wish for. If Carol ever meets Egmond, one day some newbie might register here and start posting about his theory that all cows are secretly black (some of them look white but that’s just where the paint is falling off) and the government is trying to keep it a secret by mutilating them and stealing their assholes. And Jimi Hendrix was drowned in wine because he had gotten to close to the truth. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920/90 "2010-04-29T14:39:23Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Thanks. But be careful what you wish for. If Carol ever meets Egmond, one day some newbie might register here and start posting about his theory that all cows are secretly black (some of them look white but that’s just where the paint is falling off) and the government is trying to keep it a secret by mutilating them and stealing their assholes. The government is in the business of stealing assholes? What kinds of forms do I have to fill out, and what are their days for pick-up? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cattle-mutes-marleys-death-and-our-newest-carol/536920.md?page=4)