I interned with a small NGO in India last summer. Since shoes were banned in the office, we had a small nook outside of the office with a rack to leave our shoes.
One day I went to get my shoes and there was a dude sleeping in the nook!
I went and told my boss. He went to talk to the dude.
In the end, the dude was allowed to stay. He slept there on the hard tile floor for several hours.
He wasn’t jerking off, though.
Once, just once I’d like to see one of these guys sneak in, clean the place up, fluff some throw pillows and fill the vase with fresh flowers. But noooooo…
We had a drunk homeless come into our lobby and pass out on our nice comfy benches where he proceeded to piss himself. One of my coworkers discovered him when she went to the water cooler. She wanted to try and wake him up but we wouldn’t let her and called the police. They came and roused the guy, which wasn’t easy, and sent him on his way. I don’t think they wanted to put him in their car. A couple days later one of the cops came by for some other reason and mentioned the guy stopped at a 24 hour pharmacy a couple blocks away and finished excreting his waste products.
We now have a lock with a buzzer.
If for some reason Beadalin can’t fulfill the duties of Winner of the Thread, BottledBlondJeanie shall . . . .
Ok, I’m back to my desk and can finally post some proper replies.
There were two Yahoo searches. They look like website names. One was “thongdreams” and the other was “xspicyworld.”
Those housebreakers aren’t very housebroken.
Agreed. We have a lock and a doorbell, we’ve just never kept it locked during the day. From now on we’re keeping it locked at all times.
Yeah, I agree it’s very odd (as is the whole situation.) I was just trying to figure out why he was holding one shoe when I found him. When I found him, the computer was off and he was standing w/ the shoe.
My other theory, which is as likely (or more so), is that he didn’t know I was here. Heard me, and freaked out. Turned off the computer and thought he could sneak out better if he took his shoes off.
I’ve heard similar scary stories about building intruders. A few years back at the 401 N Michigan building, they had problems w/ guys going into the public ladies restroom and peaking in at them over the top of the stalls.
I miss the old days when thongs meant a type of sandal. I still say thong when I mean flip-flop and always end up having to clarify.
Heh, no worries. She’s usually works from home or on the road from her laptop. She’s in Oakland and so any browsing history from Monday is all this guy.
She has a pretty good sense of humor so while she’s suitably creeped out and feeling icky about it, she made some fun jokes as well. She asked me if “there was any jizz on her keyboard” to which I replied, “I didn’t notice any jizz, maybe we need a blacklight.”
Yeah, I’m kind of a dummy. Between this and some things I did after I discovered the break-in to my apartment a few weeks back, I’m realizing that I don’t make the best decisions when in stressful situations.
You know, there are websites specializing in that … 
They ought to fire that useless doofus, on the door. What are they employed for, if not to stop this sort of stuff?
Yeah, I agree. They normally have a 2nd security person standing in the center of the lobby to watch who is coming in, but they had nobody in that role yesterday apparently.
Most buildings around here have a system where you have a keycard that you wave to get into your elevator bank, or past a security desk. If you don’t have a keycard, you have to sign in. I asked our building manager why they don’t do something like this and he said that there are two reasons… 1) A good number of the tenants in the building are older and have been here for many many years, old attorneys, accountants, etc. He said that they wouldn’t be very happy w/ that sort of system. (WEAK excuse) and 2) The Civic Opera actually runs two of the floors in the building and so it’s really hard to set up a security system when you basically have two separate “owners” operating the building. (Also weak, but less so than reason #1).
The challenge with that building also (IIRC) is that there are public businesses - I used to go to a deli that I think was on the 4th floor. You can’t badge people in in that situation. It would close those businesses.
I work in a big building in downtown Chicago, and its open access during the day, including elevators. Security watches but doesn’t challenge everyone that comes in.
That still doesn’t excuse this situation - the building management should at the least be telling you that they’re keeping a close eye on things.
He was shopping online for a new pair of thongs, because one keeps falling off. Unfortunately, those search terms bring up a lot of unrelated pr0n sites. Poor guy’s probably worried that you’re going to steal his credit card number.
Seriously, though, glad you weren’t hurt.
Ha ha! Me too! Why? Why do your minds always go to the bad place?
I am not sure if I should be worried or aroused that you were that excited about some homeless dude yanking it in Bob’s boss’s office.
i think a little of both…
They’re probably not allowed to do anything physical. It all comes down to liability (i.e. the security contractors don’t want to get their asses sued off if someone gets hurt). I have a friend that used to work security and unless someone’s life is in danger you’re basically not allowed to lay a finger on anyone. And even then they strongly encourage you to just call the cops instead of trying to be a hero.
We’re buds, Oak, so I myself will not be reporting this heresy to Old One-Eye. But I cannot guarantee that no one else will do so, and if that happens it will count against you on The Day.
This sounds like somebody who has a lowered threshold of consequences. What’s the worst case scenario for him? He’s arrested? For you or me, being arrested for breaking in to an office and getting caught masturbating would be a major disgrace. For him, it’s a chance to sleep indoors in a warm cell and get some free meals.
Breaking and decorating 
Goes well with a charge of assault and flattery.
Right, I remember the place you mean. Also, the barber shop I mentioned. Still, if you call and say ‘hey I just threw this guy out’ they ought to at least be heads up enough to grab him.
I think he’d understand. If the battle is joined, then I’m in it to win it. If the battle is pointless and avoidable, even he’d rather have another ale and oggle a wench or three.
Besides which he pretty much has to take me. Heaven don’t want me, and Hell’s*
afraid I’ll take over.
*Hel has similar concerns, as does Osiris. Nirvana bars the gate whenever I’m in the neighborhood. Kali thinks I’m kinda cute, but c’mon…she’s Kali. Shiva already has an avatar.
Did the guy have an Australian accent?
'Cos, y’know, down here, flip-flops are actually called thongs.
