# Cause of Death in an Obituary Issue **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 9, 2022, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cause-of-death-in-an-obituary-issue/957466 "2022-01-09T01:19:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2022, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cause-of-death-in-an-obituary-issue/957466/161 "2022-01-17T11:46:29Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > OMG! Was he vaxxed? Doubt it > [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > Did he get boosted? Unlikely > [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > Did he wear a mask all the time? As a school janitor it was required. > [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > What kind of Covid did he have? Covid-19 > [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > Was he in the hospital? Yes > [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > Was he on a ventilator? Oh yes > [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > How long was he in there? Just a week or less > [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > Did he have to wait to get admitted, would it have made a difference? Did the family get to visit him? Did anyone else in the family have Covid? How are they doing? Idk. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2022, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cause-of-death-in-an-obituary-issue/957466/162 "2022-01-17T16:54:09Z")
Does this obituary make me look fat? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2022, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cause-of-death-in-an-obituary-issue/957466/163 "2022-01-18T01:43:48Z")
Besides, I would think if someone dies of cancer, most of those who know them already KNOW that. At least, that’s always been my experience. ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2022, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cause-of-death-in-an-obituary-issue/957466/164 "2022-01-19T09:37:14Z")
> [@Esprise\_Me](#): > > Of course the public isn’t entitled to that information, but I bet it’s the first question on everyone’s mind, way ahead of most of the questions a typical obituary does answer. (Hands up if, upon hearing of an acquaintance’s death, you’ve ever thought “oh my! I wonder what high school he graduated from?”) I don’t usually read obits, but when I do the first thing I wonder about is cause of death. And if it’s someone I knew in a second or third degree of separation kind of thing, the first thing people ask/gossip about is cause of death. Usually the only kind of obit that lists a cause is when they put in something like “after a heroic battle against cancer, Jim passed away last night.” > [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > If you’re replying to me (and the software makes it challenging to be sure) Just for future reference, if he was replying directly to you, you would have received a notice that someone replied to you, unless you have that option turned off or that person is on your ignore list. Just like you and **Esprise** will get a notice that I replied to you, if all settings are normal. > [@Railer13](#): > > Bob Saget passed away today. His death will be all over the news for the next couple of days. Do you think we deserve to know the cause of his death? I don’t care one way or another if someone lists a cause of death in an obit. Even less for Saget since I have no connection to him, unless you count the time I caught his act 20 years ago. > [@needscoffee](#): > > They forgot to include the word “unexpectedly”. Perfect. 👍 > [@TokyoBayer](#): > > I think most adults recognize that if people don’t volunteer personal information, then you figure they don’t want to tell you. Of course, but the twenty questions thing isn’t directed at the family. In my experience there is always a set of people on the outside edges that speculate and ask questions about the death. Basically, nosy gossips. > [@susan](#): > > Does this obituary make me look fat? You look mah-va-lous! ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2022, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cause-of-death-in-an-obituary-issue/957466/165 "2022-01-21T10:29:42Z")
> [@dolphinboy](#): > > First, let me say I mean no disrespect to anyone who has died or the relative of anyone who has died. I’m just trying to understand why it works the way it works. > [@dolphinboy](#): > > I agree that the family should decide, but why do families typically decide to leave that information out? As i am currently writing an obituary of my mother with my siblings, i have some insight into this: It’s not part of the standard formula, and it’s hard to think “out of the box” when you are grief-stricken. So the first several drafts of ours didn’t include a cause of death. I added a cause of death mostly because I remembered this thread. That’s despite the fact that the emails and Facebook “death notices” i wrote from scratch all included a cause of death (and didn’t say anything about her life, just that she’d died.) Those were written to people who knew her, and were what you’d say to someone you were talking to (my mom died of covid. Here’s info on the memorial), not based on a standard template. My sister and i ended up changing the template a lot. It left out her husband (my BIL), who was very very close to our mom. And it had horrible saccharine language that rubs me the wrong way (dear sister… cherished grandmother…) and stuff that wasn’t true (died peacefully). But that’s a lot of work. I’m going to guess that a lot of death notices have all those features because it’s easiest to just fill in the blanks from the funeral home template. And the funeral home template doesn’t include a cause of death because it’s sometimes a painful subject. But the result is that even if it’s not especially painful, it gets overlooked by the mourners, who aren’t at their best. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2022, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cause-of-death-in-an-obituary-issue/957466/166 "2022-01-22T23:49:37Z")
> [@mordecaiB](#): > > Just for future reference, if he was replying directly to you, you would have received a notice that someone replied to you, unless you have that option turned off or that person is on your ignore list. Just like you and **Esprise** will get a notice that I replied to you, if all settings are normal. If they click the right reply button, sure. But I’ve encountered people who reply to me who click the thread reply button. You don’t get a notification if they do that. I don’t think it’s intentional. It’s just that there’s no obvious difference in how their post displays either way, and thus they don’t notice. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2022, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cause-of-death-in-an-obituary-issue/957466/167 "2022-01-23T00:01:40Z")
I received no notification. It’d just be simply better if the software didn’t play games with how it shows replies to posts directly above (or replies to the OP). I don’t want to have to depend on notifications or the nuance of thread settings when the solution is so simple. But that’s probably a conversation for a different thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cause-of-death-in-an-obituary-issue/957466.md?page=8)